The Empirical Manifesto

A MAN.
A PLAN.
A STORMTROOPER.
STUF123.

Unlike a true palindrome, this one reads 321 FUTS REPOORT MROTS A NALP ANAMA which, loosely translated: this guy just rocks!

Thanks to stuf123 for providing this outstanding caricature of yours truly, as Stormtrooper, officially my new favorite avatar. Many, many posts from now, if you require his site again, just follow my LINKS area to ehowton's spaces and his is the first link under my "Custom List."

From his Yahoo! 360 blog:

Steve R is one funny guy - but you pretty much have to have a sense of humor yourself to appreciate him. He's generous and taleneted and will always have your back in a fight. Steve R enjoys soundtracks and halloween and works as many hours as an IT Professional...

I met Steve on The Score Station (where, to this day he can be seen on chat occasionally) enjoying many a soundtrack together. We share love of Pixar movies (ok, he is an animator...) and an overabundance of desktoys. Mine slant towards sci-fi, his slant towards super heroes, and currently - he's winning.

Now that I live in Saint Louis, and have met astro, our friend stuf123 is just a few hours away, and my dream (I HAVE A DREAM) is to one day, meet the man, the legend, stuf123.



He'll do yours for $200 cash or payment in cases of Nerd (tm) candy!
oh, and I promised him I'd say this:

Ok, I promise not to bore you will a poll on this one, but consider the following scenario, and let me know:

A new friend uploads an avatar for drax0r of the text to one of his favorite flash animations, "The End of the World" which he recently posted here. Unfortunately, because the original creator was either a non-US citizen, too young to know there was Warsaw Pact, or just, well...dumb, the line "AH MOTHERLAND!" (as spoken by the Soviet comrade) was translated "AUGH MOW THE LAWN!" Which, of course, is just retarded. However, this single frame was stopping drax0r from using it as his avatar. As his dear friend, I offered to deconstruct, repair, and upload for his use. I retained the original file name of 'thnukes.gif' to prevent any confusion. My question to you is, Was he drunk?

---

The reconstructed image:


The saved gif:


The upload:


The verification:


The notification:


The drunken search?

Skoal, caught mid-air doing a whirling dual-wield attack!



Gamed two hours last night, from 2100-2300. Paused the game before I went to bed, but the box rebooted in the middle of the night for updates. Don't think I saved so...will replay again tonight. No worries, I'm not exactly in a hurry to finish the game. What's the point in that?

My boy and I have been reading a page from "The Great Castle Search" each evening. He loves the Great Search series of books. I learned about Motte & Bailey castles and palisades.



The kitties are already housebroken (thanks astro!) and have been ceaselessly exploring. Daisy still hides from them, but they pay her no notice. They don't cry at night, but during the day, when they're out, they use a series of echolocation to find each other if they are out of visual range. Now THAT can get annoying, but it seems to work for them. They will get darker as they mature, developing tiger-stripes or leopard spots, and their wild animal-like pelt will thicken; I got to pet the mothers and they were awesome. I was only able to get these pics because they had just awoken from a mid-afternoon catnap and were still a little groggy:



Headache is gone and I feel fantastic. Its been a busy morning, it always is - but when you're in a great mood, you really don't seem to mind; it's an opportunity to shine!

Still firming up plans for this weekend. I think we're going to watch The Sopranos Friday evening, and the wife is going to finish painting the dining room (and possibly start the living room) Saturday. If she does that, I'll entertain the children downstairs with movies and Hot Wheels.

(12:25:31 PM) EricHowton: Have you heard the good news?
(12:25:35 PM) EricHowton: HE HAS RISEN.
(12:25:50 PM) galinda822: Who?
(12:26:01 PM) EricHowton: Tony's awake!

The sky is gray and its raining buckets. I love it! Of course that always means the children will be underfoot when I get home instead of riding their bikes...



Then there is drax0r who is an outspoken proponent of not deleting posts...his own posts, that is, as it turns out, as he has recently deleted one of mine. The great operatic composer Wagner thought that no opera should ever be more than two hours long, else one would lose interest. He himself, however, composed operas over four (4) hours long. He felt the rules should apply to everyone but himself. Much like our friend draxor here:



Thanks for playing!

Arriving at work early after staying up too late, and with my first cup of coffee still in my hand, I am squinting at the Cisco switch in the network closet believing either of the above statements must be affecting me, as I cannot find the other end of the new quad which was run last night, jack-66.

I rub my eyes and step back, then back in.

64A - 64B - 65A - 65B - 67A - 67B - 68A....wtf?

Perhaps it's me? I double check the jack number under the desk. "66A/66B" Fsck.



So I bring up corporate webmail since I'm using my login on the server room computer, hit my "Sent Items" and bring up a *.pdf file which has the vendor's number on it from a scanned copy of a bill I sent off a couple of days ago. "Brilliant." I'm thinking. Hmmmm:

"You cannot view this file without first downloading it to your computer."

That's pretty gay dude.

So I do something even more gay! I create the network folder "My Trash" under "My Documents" since I was not allowed to save this file directly to the Recycle Bin to open it.

Well, it's taken me six years, but my son now returns my 'Good morning.' with the same. Only that non-posting bastard danzigfried (...danzigfried, young and sweet, only 23...) knows how important that exchange is with me.

Wife has instructed me to pick up a case of Pilzner Urquell and a bottle of Presidente Mexican brandy in preparation for this weekend. w00t!

Jack-66 Forever!



( A typical conversation with ProfessorTom )

Second 10-hour day in a row! By the time I left, my Notes account is set to send me everything I have to do tomorrow, to my cell phone, at intervals, just to remind me.

It's not quite eight-o'clock and I'm exhausted. With any luck at all, I'll make it to bed before midnight. Got to chat online with the wife quite a bit - between her schedule and mine, we never get to talk during the day, then next thing you know a week goes by and all we've exchanged are hello's. Its nice to get to connect. She's due here Wednesday with the kids. I know I'm going to be busy that week, because we have two, concurrent, three-day off-site conferences to support, but at least they'll be here at the end of the day when I return from work.

I don't mind meeting someone who doesn't always agree with me, or whom I may not agree with. Some of my closest friends are exact opposites of myself in my views on politics, religion, life... But I am completely done speaking to people who choose to scream ASSHOLE at me on Instant Messenger after venting their point of view, then signing off. I found it amusing, if not immature the first few times, but I seriously do not have the cycles. Please understand. I've been through hurricanes, tornado's, earthquakes, terrorists bombing my friends and am a member of the Veteran's Of Foreign Wars (VFW). A little wind and rain no longer scare me. Please, please, please contact me again when you're like, 30 and have had some life experience under your belt.

Tony is speeding towards Houston as I type on his way to evacuate close ones....and their cats:

drax0r: i'm introducing cats
EricHowton: Really?
drax0r: yeah
EricHowton: Daisy and Az?
drax0r: yes
EricHowton: How's it going?
drax0r: not very well
EricHowton: LOL
EricHowton: You must be REALLY bored.
EricHowton: What prompted this?
drax0r: because the people that are coming down this weekend fleeing houston are bringing cats as well
drax0r: so I need to be able to make 3 different cat zones
EricHowton: Uh.....
EricHowton: How many people and how many cats?
drax0r: i think 5 people and 6 cats
EricHowton: Damn dude.
drax0r: yeah
EricHowton: "Cat Zones" huh?
drax0r: yeah
drax0r: there was a little scrap between the two but i sprayed them down with the water bottle to break them up
drax0r: and now az is just kinda sitting there and daisy is growling at her
EricHowton: Geez.

OK, I opted for a glass of wine this evening. I'm going to now disassemble the Apple keyboard, clean it, and reassemble. You kids have a good night.

UPDATE!

2135: Tony's en route - I'm 24x7 oncall as I try to navigate routes. It's like the movie Twister, only with one person left behind watching satellite & maps. My mother told me all routes on I-45 outta Houston were Northbound only. Tony's other resource confirmed with the Conroe PD that all routes were clear on his current navigation...

I've got your back Tony. You need this former intelligence puke to navigate you outta harm's way, just give me a call. I'm sure you'll be just fine.

My car rides like a tracked vehicle. I loaded it yesterday for my trip to St. Louis. 4 computers, 3 monitors, 25 technical books, clothes, a suit, 35 ties, and two desks full of junk. It's awkward changing lanes since I always look over my shoulder when I'm signaling (yes, that's what those rear windows are for, not so your passengers can see the pretty view) and both side-rear windows are blocked. I have about 4 inches of sight out of the back glass. The A/C works a lot better. There's not as much space which needs to be cooled. Look how low the rear end is sitting! This would have turned out a lot differently if I drove an SUV or somesuch.



FAX is not an acronym. It's an abbreviation.

I'm going to Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary. Apparently, you're not allowed to bring personal computer equipment onto the Federal Center, because if they stop you, and you don't have a property pass, you go to prison. Reference description of my car above.

I may have broken my little toe this morning. I haven't started falling like Tony when he drinks yet, however.

EricHowton: I saw a very nice French wine at Sams that caught my attention. a 500ml maybe bottle for $23. Sure wanted to try it.
SomeBritInMass: Was it a desert wine?
EricHowton: That was the impression I got.
SomeBritInMass: Sauterns?
EricHowton: Now just hold on a minute here!
EricHowton: How the fsck did you know that?
EricHowton: Yes, I believe that was the name I saw on the bottle.
EricHowton: You're amazing.
SomeBritInMass: Eric, I have had a long and amazing apprenticship when it comes to booze!

Phone calls with ProfessorTom pattern an everyplot plot sequence:

He calls after nine,
He's feeling just fine.
He laughs, he cries,
He diatribes.
He listens, he talks,
He talks and talks and talks.
We share, he cares,
He talks to me in his underwear.
I work on my computer RAID,
During the lenghty part of his tirade.
I tell him he can
He tells me he can't
My reply is concise
His is a rant.
When he starts on his woes
He get very verbose
I begin to get terse
But that only makes it worse.
He starts to yell
I voice my farewell
He winds down his campaign
I respond, "Auf Wiedersehen!"


I’d rather be whistling in the dark.

David & Wendy took me out the the Japanese Steak House last night. I was hesitant, but it was fantastic! David from work and his family were also in attendance. What a nice night that turned out to be. I was in bed by 0100, but don't know that I slept much prior to 0500. Then I slept great, but didn't awake until 0930. I love the flex hours I've provided myself at work.

Ich bin Berliner.

I am a jellyroll.

Poll: How many of you have actually eaten a Berliner? I did, in Weisbaden. But it doesn't hold a candle to the soft pretzels which fall tenderly from the kiosk onto a bed of course ground salt.

GirlInWA: I almost went to Germany for a summer during my senior year of high school.
EricHowton: Yes, I saw EuroTrip. The movie was much different than being over there as part of an occupational force combatting communinsm.
GirlInWA: What exactly were you doing over there?
EricHowton: Combatting communism.

Upgraded Gallery to Release Candidate 2, codenamed, KTHXBYE

Crawled in bed last night after my shower and the wife was laying in bed reading. I just, watched her. Thinking of how lucky I was to have her, and then of all the women that just weren't right in the months leading up to our getting together. I started grinning a stupid grin, not being able to imagine myself with anyone else, and wondering what I had done right to get her. She drops her book in a huff, turns to me and says, "How long are you going to fucking stare at me?"

What a sweetheart...

Saw a Season Two commercial for Battlestar Galactica yesterday at the movies. I was quite excited. Apparently, they're going to show all of Season One back-to-back tomorrow on Sci-Fi, and NBC is going to broadcast three episodes in High-Definition this month. Season Two starts the 15th.

Drove to Wichita Friday after work, the beginning of the holiday weekend. Had I been able to come up with anything to do whatsoever, I would have used that as an excuse to not drive to Wichita, as traffic was horrendous! It took me two and a half hours to get to the Oklahoma State Line, traveling I-35 the entire way. My normally 5-hour trip took seven. Well, at least I didn't feel rushed. I just put some good tunes on, sucked on some moist smokeless tobacco, and set the cruise at 69. (Usually I set it at 74, but Oklahoma State Troopers were out in force!)

Mostly rode three wheelers as DETAILED HERE.



The absolute best part of a three-day weekend is usually the 4-day work week which follows. Alas, in IT we usually end up working 5-days worth of work in 4-days, which doesn't make it any more pleasant.

Wife wanted to see Episode III again while it was still in theaters, so took her to see it yesterday while folks enjoyed the children. Dinner at Zio's (I had the cheese ravioli on a bed of linguine, half covered in alfredo, half in marinara), followed by a clandestine meeting with MADDOG. You see, I have acquired a mac mini in a game of chance. This mac mini has already had a memory upgrade more impressive than even you could imagine! And David Roberston at work has overclocked his CPU to 1.5GHz (his research turned up that both the 1.25 and 1.42 model use the 1.5 CPU, which is disabled by a single solder-point). The only thing lacking is a decent harddrive. As neither myself, nor my friends deal in IDE, this has been an arduous task. My minimum requirements were 8MB cache and 7200rpm. Well, MADDDOG found a brand new 80GB Maxtor, out the door at Office Depot, for $40. What a pal! Now I'm tracking down an external firewire-400 enclosure. Sure a Hitachi Travelstar laptop drive would have been easier, but at $185, my implementation will work equally well at one-third the cost!

Just got off the phone with a client. "My laptop went into hibernation, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!"
"Push the power button." I offered.
"I did - nothing happened!"
"Is it plugged in?" I ask.
"I think so."
"Can you check it?"
"Sure."
"Oh, that's it, it's working now!"
"Fantastic."

*sigh*

The Higgliosaurus Corner:
HIGGS! Has returned from vacation this week!

BlackLadyInPhilly: I have a job interview in MO.
EricHowton: Where in Missouri?
BlackLadyInPhilly: Kansas City.
EricHowton: Sweet! You can drive to Wichita on the weekends and we can visit.
BlackLadyInPhilly: Are there even black people in Kansas?
EricHowton: I think I saw one once.
BlackLadyInPhilly: Oh, you got jokes!
EricHowton: Seriously, it's a metropolitan area, of course there are!
BlackLadyInPhilly: I don't want to move into KKK land or something.
EricHowton: Geez!

Ganked from drax0r:
...my favourite is dis pig dat drops dwn frm da top of ur screen n starts dancin n singin.

So we got this pug and named him Frank, AKA Agent F from the Men In Black movies. He's a dead ringer. My wife showed our children the movies and told them that our Frank was the dog in the film. My 5-year old now wants to know why Frank no longer talks like he did in the movie. Of course this is the one who screams at horses, "WHAT IS YOUR NAME?" When I suggest to him that he asks the horse what his name is. You can have a lot of fun with kids.



AIM session with drax0r:
EricHowton (1:15:46 PM): So I this guy asked me if I knew of a pst cracker.
EricHowton (1:16:16 PM): I said, I don't, but my buddy's friggin' brilliant, and I bet he knows of a linux based cracker that will solve all your ills instantly!
EricHowton (1:16:31 PM): I was almost embarrassed to tell him your answer was, 'google.'
drax0r (1:17:18 PM): right, but if you google it and find what you're looking for then it will turn out that I put you on the right path, innit?
EricHowton (1:18:09 PM): True, ergo, my answer to your most difficult questions could be, "breathe." And once you've researched your answer, I could take credit for it, along the same lines of thought.

Our AE for this account showed up today. I'd never met him, as it has been 10 months since his last visit and I've only been here 9 months. The AE said he was going to try to get down here more often, maybe every 3-5 months. I interjected telling him, "That sounds like a good time frame, when I was as Airbus our AE made monthly visits, and that was a bit tedious."