Context

2008-03-11 00:24
ehowton: (Default)

I've been able to limit my ire to two items these past couple of weeks, and both of them stem from linux. I'm not kidding when I say I want to move off of XP. I'm not a gamer - I don't need windows. But no matter how you slice it, there are Window-centric things. For example, a web-interface to ITMS would be nice, as there is no linux client, and no other way to access it. Non-free java sometimes works. Sometimes. I can't have that. As much as I despise java, I require it. But the two big ones for me - the reason I still run XP, is:

  1. Notes & Photoshop.

  2. Spanned desktop across two monitors.


I have to have Notes. Its my livelihood. Inevitably, some idjit will suggest I use the Notes Web Client (which doesn't work well enough to actually be useful) and I refuse to give up Photoshop. Again, some OSS fanboy will invariably suggest the GIMP, but as [livejournal.com profile] dentin once put it, there's a reason why Adobe Photoshop has a bigger market share than the Gimp: because the Gimp is fucking stupid.

IBM did release a linux version of Notes, which eventually worked. Until the operating system updated. And Slashdot has carried IBM press releases about which specific version of Notes will work with which specific version of Ubuntu at some point in an unclear future. Color me bored. I've even found some fantastic HOWTO's on the Ubutnu forums. And I shouldn't have to subjugate myself to virtualization or dual-booting on my laptop! So with a heavy heart, and knowing that this next and final course is equally as perverted as the ones laid before it, I turn to wine.

For the uninitiated, wine is a recursive acronym for Wine Is Not (an) Emulator (though yes, this frustration is driving me to drink) and all the same rules apply. Specific versions of wine, specific versions of Notes, specific kernels, etc. Its going to be a nightmare. But if it works... (and if I get Photoshop working as well) "By Grapthar's Hammer" I will live to tell the tale.

Context is an underrated, and often ignored art. I enjoy context. I start my stories way back, on a seemingly unconnected note, and work my way up. I take my time. Those who have known me years adore it. Those who just meet me get frustrated by it. I tell a story to entertain myself just as much as my audience. To do otherwise does us both a disservice. Of course the joy of context is also its immediate association. If one were in a hurry, they can announce context immediately and go from there. Context is absolutely invaluable in multi-threaded conversations!

I have two friends. Both think context is retarded for different reasons. One thinks that if we're discussing several ideas in a dizzying array of conversations, I should be smart enough to pick out which he's referring to even if his statement could apply to multiple active scenarios. The other friend simply fails to comprehend context's importance even when outlined to him and thus refuses to participate in anything he does not understand.

So be it.

These past two weeks have been weighing heavily on my mind, and I can't focus on one, or the other, because even if I could get everything to work under wine, unless I can utilize my 19" LCD monitor by extending my desktop onto it - ITS NOT WORTH IT FOR ME TO USE! Apparently, linux hasn't migrated this far yet. I have an IBM T60 with a non-nvidia (i810 compliant) framebuffer. Grrrrr! When I get tired of working on that, I go back to wine and the cycle continues. So I'm wandering aimlessly around Fry's Electronics book section today, and what to my delight to I see? Wine for Dummies! Could this be my saving grace? Could I glean something, anything from this bound paper book? It was between Virtualization for Dummies and XP for Dummies.

Its worth a try. I pick it up and open it. There's a metaphor about a corkscrew I don't understand. The corkscrew we don't want to use. Yes - I'm familiar with the 'Dummies' series of books and their similes and stories and tips and asides. Which tool is the corkscrew supposed to represent? I want to ensure I'm not using it! The next page shows another corkscrew. This is the one we should use! Fantastic! This one doesn't leave bits of cork in the bottle. WHAT REPRESENTS THE BITS OF CORK? WHICH TOOL SHOULD I USE TO PROPERLY UTILIZE WINE? The next picture is of...another corkscrew? WTF?

...I close the book to read the cover:



Wine for Dummies.

No shit.

Context is everything.
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Don't Be an Ass

2007-12-14 10:30
ehowton: (Default)
As each of us toils through our day, everyday, each individual thing we see or do is based upon assumptions.

Our own empirical dataset is inexorably flawed because we interpret our own experiences differently than others may have experienced them, falling again to assumption as we draw from ourselves in previous situations to react to new ones. We take things for granted every moment of our lives and live in a world of assuming the things we see and do will react as we expect them to. This is required to function. Our entire lives are made up of a series of natural deductions. Its how we've made it as far as we have.

Having assumptions is more about things you've experienced rather than new revelations unveiled, and its these situations where you're more likely to err. Those who refuse to 'make assumptions' have already failed insofar as they've just created a paradox by assuming they shouldn't. EVERYTHING is based upon what we, as individuals believe is true, and our reaction to them.

So please, refrain from telling me I'm "making an ass" of myself because I've "assumed" something.

You're just showing your weakness to assert your own dataset of rules, and you reek of ignorance.

Thank you.
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Halloween

2007-10-31 10:58
ehowton: (Default)

Per HOA regulations, I'm going to stain my fence. I've never been a part of an HOA, nor had an unstained fence. I had no idea that stain was that expensive. The good stuff goes for $120. Yikes. I settled for a five-gallon bucket at $85. I was also overwhelmed at the variety of colors. We ended up with "Cederwood." Now that I have a compressor I can get cool things like a gravity fed spray gun, which should minimize my actual "work" time on this project. I'll let you know how that goes.

I've been on and off line since Thursday. I've never had cable modem before, and after this six-day run, I may never again. I'm just waiting for fiber. Biding my time. And making multiple calls into the helpdesk. Of course by this time I've flat out refused to "restart my computer" to see if it comes back up. Christ, I'm running four different operating systems at home. Why do they always want me to reboot my XP box?

Speaking of Microsoft, remember the CAN-YOU-RUN-VISTA program you could download? The one which told you which "number" your system was?

  1. Your system cannot run Vista.

  2. Your system can run some core components of Vista.

  3. Your system can run Vista, but many features will be disabled.

  4. Your system can run Vista with most, but not all features enabled.

  5. There is no hardware available today to run a full version of Vista with everything turned on.


I like Apple's approach better:

Leopard will run faster than Tiger, even on your old equipment.

Its the opposite of 'bloatware' and we, as cattle, don't know how to handle this information. We don't understand because its completely antithetical to our way of thinking. Microsoft has brainwashed us into thinking that security flaws and poor code are simply a way of life.

Which reminds me, [livejournal.com profile] drax0r found an independent study which names the fastest Vista laptop on the market today: The MacBook Pro. Dumbasses - http://www.pcworld.com/article/id,136649-page,3-c,notebooks/article.html

This past weekend [livejournal.com profile] drax0r and I attended an all-day party at the Grand Opening of Anna Fine Wines & Spirits. There was a classic car show, a 20-foot smoker filled with sausage and brisket, and plenty of wine, vodka, and tequila tasting all day long. My favorites were the Daytona/Superbird twins:



Afterwards was a Tribal Council meeting. A meeting among private citizens of Anna to drink and discuss the merits of drinking. Everyone was there. I was the grill co-pilot to Retired Boom Operator and the entire operation was a rousing success.

Until his wife fell face first into the pavement.

With the wine glass between her face and the pavement.

Ouch. She was a real trooper though. The only thing she wanted was a new glass for her wine.

Took some time out to sit and watch National Lampoon's Vacation this weekend. Yes, the original. Hadn't seen it in years. So funny. Cousin Eddie at his darkest (instead of the goofy Cousin Eddie of later shows), the jaw-dropping incestuous & masturbatory remarks (unusual in a comedy), and a young Beverly D'Angelo's breasts. Twice. Good stuff. I want to see European Vacation now. Its getting close to that time that we start our annual viewing of Christmas Vacation.

I was at Wal-Mart, wandering aimlessly down the isles as I am wont to do while my wife is perusing the DVD selection. I spy an old Gen-1 512MB iPod Shuffle. PERFECT. My wife's been wanting a portable mp3 player, and though I refuse to buy one which forces me to use that most horrific of interfaces, Windows Media Player that greatly limits my choices. BAM! This was it - the answer! I inquire to the price. It was $10 less than the shiny new 1GB 2nd Generation Shuffle. I ask the saleslady if she understands why this is not a good deal.

I've got strict instructions to be home by 1700 and I don't know why. I think it may have something to do with Halloween.


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Angst?

2007-02-28 03:00
ehowton: (Default)

And now, a word about [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx. To open this forum, I'll admit, I don't understand these Gen X'ers (or Y'ers or whatver the hell 'they' are being called these days). Sure I was young, and had periods of confusion because I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. But this whole angsty "I'm angry at the world because I'm retarded." just doesn't sit well with me. If you're angry because you're retarded, let's start with working on NOT being retarded. And if we can't fix that, then christ man, let's at least work on NOT being angry because of it. But that's just it, isn't it? Is it considered 'cool' to be retarded, to appear incapable of making decisions, or to follow through on the one's you have?

Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski. Condolences. The bums lost. My advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir.

But if that truly were the case, then why all the angst? Why all the frustration over your imagined oppression? And I'll be the first to tell you that your own stupidity has brought this on you. I won't pander to your depressive ways. I understand that life is a stage, BUT NOT EVERY PLAY IS A TRAGEDY! Dry those emo-tears, pony boy. No one else is going to make you happy - is that what you're waiting for? Its all on you, dude, and the rest of the world? We've evolved. You'd do best to try and keep up.

Case in point - a conversation I had with our young friend earlier this week:

[livejournal.com profile] schpydurx: I too am the eternal optimist. However, I am first and foremost a realist who realizes that life is shit and what can go wrong will go wrong. Therefore, I plan for the worst and if something better comes along, then hey, that's cool too. It's called contingency.

[livejournal.com profile] ehowton: I too am the eternal optimist. However, I am first and foremost a realist...
This contradicts itself.

...life is shit and what can go wrong will go wrong.
This is called a 'pessimist.' The opposite of an 'optimist.' Are you an optimist, a realist, or a pessimist? And you think I'm confused?

I plan for the worst and if something better comes along...
This is the most retarded way to do things I've ever seen. I think I just found the root cause of all your problems. Dude, you prepare for the worst, yes, but the flip side of that is expect the best! You dismiss a very important facet of this. Furthermore, that's a dumb contingency! A better contingency would be to prepare for multiple scenarios. But not you! You 'prepare for the worst' by waiting for something better to come along? YOU FUCKING PACIFIST! Grab the bull by the horns and go do something!

By getting this rare peek into the post-pubescent mindset, I see that inaction is the number one cause of his discontent. I'd like to offer him some advice here, publicly: It is better to do something, and fail, than to succeed at doing nothing.

There are often many different courses of action you could take given any particular circumstance, that's a given. And understanding that doing nothing at all is quite possibly the worse thing you could do, what do you do? Well, its really quite easy. Weigh the pro's and con's, pick one, and DO IT. Just...fscking...DO IT! Now then, there is a certain element of risk involved doing things this way, and occasionally you will fail. That's OK! If you never failed, YOU'D NEVER LEARN! Failing is a very, very important part of learning, often overlooked. Anyway, here's the clincher, the coup de tête if you will, which will make your every desire come true: Once you start taking these small risks, and begin a life of action, each next decision comes easier. And with the lessons learned from each event, you gain more experience, and the next one becomes easier. Its a cycle of success.

Those analysis droids only focus on symbols. Huh! I should think that you Jedi would have more respect for the difference between knowledge and... wisdom.

If you leave here with only one thing, please make it this: GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF THE COUCH AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!



its 2300 and I just finished a bowl of chili with Town House® Bistro™ Corn Bread Crackers. I crawled out of bed, brought my Vaio UX280P down with me, and cracked a beer. I went to bed at 2000 hours because I was tired and my eyes were burning and I wanted to catch up on some sleep but - that's not going to happen. It all began yesterday just as I arrived home...

The phone beeped and I was being paged to a Nationwide emergency meeting to battle a virus outbreak. I was up until 0200. Sure I slept in a little bit this morning, but it took me three cups of coffee to jump-start myself and at the conclusion of a very busy day I found myself wide awake in bed.

So I brought my minuscule little toy with me and loaded on it all the apps I would need to do remote unix administration with and had fun secure shell'ing into my box, chatting on tiny-AIM with [livejournal.com profile] galinda822, and bringing teh max0r across on vnc. Its fun, and convenient, and yes, you can post while laying flat on your back. The screen is bright, vibrant and sharp! But I wouldn't suggest it. While the stylus is fantastic, and the touch screen consistent in its ability, the font is so small that using the built-in "mouse" works much faster. However, there's no good position in which to lay while using the QWERTY keyboard. The stylus isn't meant to push the tiny buttons, and the fingers have difficulty because of a lack of tactile response. In short, I wouldn't suggest this as your daily tool. Unless of course you need to vpn via your wireless home network and solve unix jobs all without having to lift your head from your pillow - then its well worth its weight in gold!





I was trying to get ampache working again the other night. I had assumed it was my NFS which was causing the catalog to not populate from the mounted volume, but that turned out to not be the case. Let me explain. For giggles, I fired up apache on teh max0r (an odd experience in itself) and installed ampache. Everything came up great, except the population of the catalog. Hmmmm. I then symlinked it to the root dir or the web server, still to no avail. Now, I know I've been away from sysadmin'ing awhile, but I wasn't expecting to delete songs within my mounted directory by use of the rm command! As soon as I saw the disc activity on my iTunes volume, I CTRL-C'd my way out of it. Yes, the symlink was still there, and yes, it was systematically deleting my songs within the mounted directory. Over 500 songs lost in a blink of the eye. I'll bring the dual-layer burner home again this weekend.
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Solipsism

2007-01-25 19:00
ehowton: (Default)

Solipsism is an epistemological position that one's own perceptions are the only things that can be known with certainty. Metaphysical solipsism is the variety of idealism which maintains that the individual self of the solipsistic philosopher is the whole of knowable reality and that the external world and other persons are representations of that self having no perceptual independent existence.

An intriguing paradox concerning solipsism was described by the British writer Eric Bond Hutton in 1989. As a child Hutton often had lucid dreams in which people and things seemed as solid and real as in waking life. This led him to wonder whether life itself was a dream, even whether he existed only in somebody else's dream. Once in a while he would have a pre-lucid dream (in which one suspects that one is dreaming). He always found these somewhat disturbing, but one day hit upon a magic formula to be used in them: "If I find myself asking 'Am I dreaming?' it proves that I am, since this question would never occur to me in waking life." Yet, such is the nature of dreams, he could never recall it when he needed to. Many years later, when he came to write about his childhood fascination with dreams, he was struck by a contradiction in his earlier reasoning. True, asking oneself "Am I dreaming?" in a dream would seem to prove that one is. And yet that is precisely what he had often asked himself in waking life. Therein lay a paradox. What was he to conclude? That it does not prove one is dreaming? Or that life really is a dream?

Similar in nature, though not involving any paradox, is Zhuangzi's Dream. Zhuangzi, the ancient Chinese philosopher, once had a vivid dream in which he was a butterfly, fluttering happily here and there. Suddenly he woke up, but afterward was never certain whether he was a man who once dreamt he was a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming he was a man.

I wonder if I'm living in a world of my own creation?
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Like Trying to Explain the Theory of Relativity to a Talking Donkey

2006-11-14 16:45
ehowton: (Default)
It starts out a friendly conversation amongst friends...

ProfessorTom: What, praytell, does [livejournal.com profile] photogoot do for a living?
EricHowton: He's a Program Manager.
ProfessorTom: what exactly does that title entail?
ProfessorTom: what exactly does a program manager do besides manage?
EricHowton: He's in charge of the Project Managers.
ProfessorTom: what do they do?
EricHowton: Oversee the various lines of service to ensure a project has what it needs to meet the customer's expectations usually.

Here's the question the first time:

ProfessorTom: so he's a programmer, but on the management side of it?
EricHowton: A Program Manager is usually more political and less hands on than a project manager.
EricHowton: No programming involved.

Here's the question a second time:

ProfessorTom: but he does/can/did program?
EricHowton: No. There is no programming involved in a Program Management position.

Clear?

ProfessorTom: I understand that

Fantastic!

ProfessorTom: how did he work his way up to that position?
EricHowton: He was hired off the street and skyrocketed to that position based on his boyish good-looks and innate charm.
ProfessorTom: I see

Wait a tic, wots this?

ProfessorTom: so he never programmed professionally?

Uh...

EricHowton: THERE IS NO PROGRAMMING INVOLVED!!!!! The word PROGRAM in this case refers to a HUGE event (usually outsourcing) which encompasses many smaller projects.

We're good now, right?

ProfessorTom: I need either a "yes" or "no" answer to this question
ProfessorTom: Are you retarded?
EricHowton: Yes. I have many faults. One of them is trying to convey new ideas to you.
EricHowton: I should give that up, as I usually just end up repeating myself!
ProfessorTom: thank you. now I know you are not illeterate but rather retarded.
ProfessorTom: I understand there is no programming involved.
EricHowton: NO YOU DON'T!
EricHowton: Because you keep asking me.

WTF?

ProfessorTom: my question was did he ever program professionally?

( DONKEY! )
EricHowton: Please stop asking if he programs, professionally or otherwise.
EricHowton: Please?
EricHowton: You know what, he's not a Program Manager.
EricHowton: He's unemployed.

( *eyeroll* )
EricHowton: I want you to die.



Well, consensus shows that I was the only one who thought this was funny. Yes, I know what he was really asking, but I couldn't help myself.

And I apologize for freezing everyone's comments, but someone began systematically deleting their comments throwing the thread off.
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LaPlata

2006-10-13 16:00
ehowton: (Default)

My rental reservation said, "FULL SIZE: Monte Carlo or equivalent." I had no idea that a Hyundai Sonata was 'equivalent', and I would have never voluntarily driven a Hyundai, but...This was one nice sedan. And the integrated 6-speaker mp3 compatible CD-Player prevented me from swallowing my own tongue during the 40 mile trip which took me a full two hours to drive, as this was the first time I was able to listen to the disc I brought. I greatly enjoyed All the King's Men, which, at times sounded a lot like Parcher's Theme from A Beautiful Mind so as you can imagine, I was thrilled. Followed that up with half of Masada and half of Serenity before concluding with STRIPES.

I dropped off my rental and walked to Chipotle meeting a recently work-released [livejournal.com profile] photogoot and for the second time since I've been here, enjoyed a tenderly hand-created organic burrito as big as my head. It was very satisfying. My wife called from Wichita; she's picking up little girl and will then beat me back home, and photogoot drove me to the mall so I could buy a new pair of New Balance. This turned out to be a challenge. "I'd like to find something in a 600-Series New Balance." I would say.
"Can't help you, all we carry is the 631."
Hmmmmm.
I finally said to one salesman, who was sorry he had only had the 612 & 650, "Yes, those would fall between 600 and 699. Thank you."
A cow in a field staring at me with only a look a cow can give would have better understood my words.
And poor photogoot - he'd forgotten how particular I was. "All the times I've accused you of being gay, I was kidding. Until this very moment..."
I like white, leather, New Balance in the 600-series for tennis shoes. Nothing else.
My first pair were 608's. From there I bought a pair of 663's and then two-pair of 609's. My most recent pair were 620's. But they had such a small selection across the five stores I visited, I ended up with something I never though I would buy, the 451 - Light, inexpensive, and good for walking around D.C. all day Saturday without killing me after my 17-hour days on my feet this past week:







608


663


609


607


451



A stop at the liquor store so I could purchase a bottle of scotch for us to sip on, and we were back home. After photogoot's comment in LaPlata about where they have a real marching band which plays there during special events, and reminding me of STRIPES I'd heard later that day, I put the score on for him, and he loved it. That led us to watch the movie last night on Video-On-Demand, and I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time, and made him a CDDA copy he could enjoy in his car on his drive in. I'm turning people onto scores one at a time.

I listen to XM Radio channel 866 exclusively at home. photogoot's comcast broadcasts an opera channel! It's playing throughout the house now. I feel I need an opera channel too. I used to run an opera shoutcast server, but I only put up my full sets, and full sets are expensive. I have under a dozen. Just puttering around the house today, playing with the dogs and eating on this gigantic pan of lasagna photogoot's wife made the evening I arrived from the tomatoes she grew
in her garden. As always, it is fantastic. So I'm doing boring things like dishes and laundry, only I've very excited about doing these things because I'm not working. Of course to maximize me staying off my feet, I've been low-crawling around the house from room to room. If anyonoe were watching, I'm sure it would look quite strange.

I did eventually put on my new shoes and walk down to the creek behind the house.
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Excesses

2006-10-04 13:05
ehowton: (Default)
Had a new guy start today, and have been having fun with him ever since. He's a new guy, so he's not really going to know how to react, and he's certainly not going to disagree or disapprove of anything I tell him on his first day. I had just returned from a service call out in that seething cesspool of users we keep here and checked my watch. "I'm sorry I'm late." I announced. Everyone looked up. "New guy." I say aloud, "Please join us. Every day at 1300 we have storytime. Today is [livejournal.com profile] bigdog_etc's day to start. He so loves telling stories." Everyone gathers around. New guy looks up in anticipation. "Nah, I'm kidding, we really don't have storytime. Everyone get back to work!" Heh. Then later, the Project Manager called to tell him he would start training users on Office 2003 later this week. We were all on a conference call with the FNG in my office. "New guy, front and center!" I commanded. After her spiel I announced, "I gave in last time, this time I'll fight you - he wears the funny hat during training!" He says he thinks he's going to like it here because we're so laid back and have a lot of fun during work.

Last night. Wow. Last night I was on a conference call from the moment I left work until about 45 minutes later. This was in follow-up to an emergency in which I had "volunteered" to drive to KC. Thankfully, that didn't have to happen. Picked up the wife and sole remaining child and off to the Galleria I went. I've got some pretty odd distinctions, and I follow them, as a rule. I find a pair of slacks I like, and I buy six of them. All in the same color. I've had the ones I'm wearing now five years. It was time for new slacks. I shop at Dillard's exclusively, and that's where the problem began. Usually, I walk in, attach myself to a sales person, and have them do my bidding. These salesmen were ineffective at best, and downright hostile other times. "We don't carry the Savane brand, and never have, sir." Bullshit. I bought these at Dillard's. "No department carries six pairs of anything identical." Bullshit. I bought six identical pairs at Dillard's when I bought these. "Dillard's has closed the Hilfiger department." Fsck! When I bought my Savane's 4 years ago they came in two 'finishes' I don't know what you call it. One pair was $19.99, the other was $24.99. The saleslady explained, "The $24.99 is deep-dyed, so it won't fade. You should get those." I told her, "They're light stone colored khaki's. Who would even notice if they faded? I could see getting the deep-dye for the darker colored slacks, but not for these." She looked at my wife, "Is he always this logical?"
"You have no idea." She said.
So I ended up with five pair of Polo's at $70 each (YIKES!) I bought the sole pair in my color/size and had four more shipped to D.C. Pleats, but no cuffs. *sigh* Why can't things just be easy?

By this time I was too tired, it was too late, I got too hungry and ate too much. Then I went to bed way too early and too soon after after eating. So despite my 2130 bedtime, I spent three hours digesting instead of sleeping and was too miserable to rest well.
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Danzig

2006-08-29 11:01
ehowton: (Default)
Have you ever noticed the zebras at the zoo always go to one area in their pen in which to poop? That always fascinated me.

I was the sole unix guy at a new data center we were standing up. I spent two weeks in the UK with the architects helping choose systems, assigning them IP addresses and hostnames. When I arrived back stateside I spent another two weeks building, racking, loading and installing these machines in the newly constructed data center, as well as deploying and installing 100 Sun U60 workstations. It was just myself and the sole Windows guy, working all day, everyday, to get this place up and running for its grand opening.

After all the employees showed up to start work at this new plant, we found that the two of us were woefully understaffed. We hired a Help Desk Technician. Our office had a very open floor plan - the build area was in one corner, and the three of us were in the other three corners. I had at my desk an XP box, a Sun U60, and an HP/UX box. The windows guy had two XP boxes, and our Help Desk guy, poor bastard, we made him build out his own XP box. We called him, "Danzig."

One day, we had an impromptu meeting. We wheeled our Herman Miller chairs to the center of the room and began talking about whatever issue we had going on. At one point, Danzig stood up, and walked to the corner of his desk, stood silently for a few seconds, then returned to his seat. We all just stared at him. "What was all that about?" the Windows guy asked.
"Sorry, I had to flatulate." He said.
"That is the most polite thing I've ever seen. I wish Eric would do that."

A few minutes after the meeting broke up and we were all back at our desks working, I stood from my workstation, walked over to the corner of Danzig's desk, and stood there adjacent him. Before anyone could ask me what I was doing, I broke wind, walked back to my desk and sat down. "OMG! Why did you do that?" Danzig asked?
"I was trying to be polite." I replied.
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Meat Pie

2006-03-20 12:58
ehowton: (Default)
I'm gonna make like a baby and head out Wednesday after work. Texas or bust.

Whenever my eldest has to poop, he hollers, "To the rocketship!" No one knows why.

Watched the new Dr. Who Friday. It was a poor substitute for BSG not being on.

teh max0r is set up at work for troubleshooting a board member's iBook tomorrow.

I was looking for a BSG RSS feed.

It's nice to be able to ease into your work week.



I miss my couch.

I may not be able to leave Mleko and Speedbump behind.

I may not be able to leave Tony behind.

As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team.... I don't know what he was talking about.
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The Long Arm of the Law

2006-03-02 14:37
ehowton: (Default)
Sometimes, and I don't know why...I feel like laws just don't apply to me. And I'm not just talking the Law of Man. Sometimes it feels as if even the Laws of Nature (i.e. gravity) or the Laws of God are also not applicable to me. I don't know why. Is that an ego-complex? Most of my life I've been described as a snob, but never egotistical. The hard part about putting this in writing, is that in the past when I've done so, I've regretted it almost immediately. Something knocks me down a notch. A speeding ticket, or an accident, or an illness, or a regret. Something which can traverse each of the Laws I feel don't apply to come smacking me in the face. Also, it feels a bit blasphemous to feel this way. I'm not special.

I think I was feeling all this because they played 'Flashdance' on the radio this morning and it's been so many, many years since I've heard it. How odd.

Talked to my old roommate in the Air Force last night for the first time in about seven months. It was a bittersweet reunion. We shared good news, and he had some bad news. What could possibly come from this bad news? After I relayed the news to my wife, she reminded me of a story I had once told her about the two of us. We were learning to kayak back in '93...

After watching our requisite training video, required to check out kayaks from the Air Force base, and a day in a still lake practicing maneuvoring them, we set out on our grand adventure. We hit the Appomattox River and were in our gear and in the water right at the first light of dawn. We dressed for full rapids just in case - a skirt over the cockpit, and crash helmets; along with backpacks filled with essentials for the day. The first part of the river was calm and beautiful. We dailied quite a bit enjoying the quiet awakening of nature with the coming of the morning. Deer staring at us from the banks. Despite this gorgeous morning, my companion was getting incresingly irritated, more and more angry as the day wore on. Occationally he would just grab his head and scream aloud in frustration. Not only was this annoying, it was wearing on my nerves. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I would ask. Usually, the reply, at the top of his lungs was, "I DON'T KNOW!"

Later, we broke for breakfast. We found a little island of sorts at a wide spot in the river and stopped there to eat, pulling our boats ashore. "AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!" my friend yells. "IS YOUR HEAD KILLING YOU?" he screams at me.
"Uh...no." I reply.
"I DON"T KNOW WHY I'M SO ANGRY!" he yells.
We store the oars in the kayaks, shrug off our backpacks, and remove our helmets. I hear a sigh of relief. He's staring into his helment. "What size is your helment?" He asks, perplexed.
I peer into mine. "Large."
"Mine says Small. No wonder I'm so angry! This thing has been squeezing my head!" He pauses for a moment and says, "Don't you have a smaller head than I do?"
I think back to our Battle Dress Uniform caps back at the apartment, and the tags inside. "Yeah, by like nearly half an inch." I tell him.
"Can we trade helments?"
"Sure."

....he was calm the rest of the trip.
  • ◾ Current Mood: Superior
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Kansas City

2005-12-03 22:05
ehowton: (Default)
Drinking rum and Coke at the Drury Inn with Galinda and Lori's cousins & aunt. What a wild ride it's been. Thanksgiving - I won't even comment on that. Lori and I arrived at our hostess' house Thursday, and didn't leave until Sunday. 15-hour days at work, mystical nights...all blended together. Got a room overnight Saturday night in Kansas City. 80+ mph all the way from St. Louis. So much fun, so much everything. I wouldn't change it for the world.
  • ◾ Current Mood: Meyer's Rum; Original Dark
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Frank the LiveJournal goat is REALLY starting to piss me off.

2005-11-08 20:23
ehowton: (Default)
Laundry...The Final Frontier

Was invited to go drinking with Carla and Andy this evening. I really wanted to go, as I have been looking forward to meeting Andy and I wanted a drink. You see, I've been actively searching for both gin, and tonic. UNSUCCESSFULLY! Either I cannot find Seagram's Lime Twisted Gin, or I cannot find tonic water. It's been very frustrating. I finally found some tonic water the second place I stopped today (this was the first time I've made it to the hotel before 2100) and am seriously considering drinking until I can no longer stand. Today was a tough day at the office. I always feel refreshed after a good drunk the night before, so if all goes according to plan, I'll have a fantastic day tomorrow. If I finish my laundry tonight...

Worked 13 hours yesterday. I wasn't going into the office until 0900. Was sitting at my computer checking email and my calendar this morning when I saw that I had an executive refresh interview at 0830. I scalded my throat with a huge drink of coffee, dumped it, jumped in the shower, dressed, shrugged on my coat, and exploded out of the parking lot. I called work, "What time do you have?" I asked. "8:25 one of my guys said."
"I have 0825. I have a meeting with a VP at 0830. I'll make it." I was doing 65 down Lindbergh which is posted at 40. Utilizing both lanes, I hit the freeway at 70, moved into the far left lane, touched 80, moved back over (I'm on the interstate for exactly one exit) and screeched into the parking lot. Dropped my gear, handed my CSC mug to one of my guys and asked him to bring me some coffee to my meeting, and waltzed into the VP's office on time. It was difficult controlling my breathing at this point, and a bead of sweat had formed on my forehead, but the interview was a success by the time it concluded half an hour later.

And that was the best part of my day. It was all downhill from there. Still. You have to find the fun. It's in the little things. I have a FANTASTIC crew, and if it weren't for them, I'd be bored too. As it is, though we get little time to visit on a personal level, damn if it isn't fun at times.

My wife is watching her Tuesday evening shows. I called her at 2000 hours for .8 seconds to tell her that I love her. I'm kinda bored off my ass every evening at the hotel, which is another reason I wanted to go out with Carla and Andy. I feel Andy and I will hit it off almost immediately, and Carla and I NEVER get to finish a conversation because of work. Tomorrow night, I've been invited to see an employee (who has her own gospel CD I hear) perform at Harrah's. I've promised my wife one thing - that I will not gamble. ALL OTHER BETS ARE OFF! Still, as a geographic bachelor I have my responsibilities. An online friend of mine's girlfriend, broke up with him. He worked too much. We discussed this at some length. I mentioned that my wife accuses me of the same thing, putting work before family. "Well do you?" I was asked. Interesting question. I told my wife I work because of my family. To support them. But what is it that drives us men to give 110% at work? I never wanted to be a work-a-holic, and to date, I don't believe I am. My wife does, however. Where's the balance? Perhaps its the gin asking. I think it's Satan, deteriorating the family via work. Our generation is living in the end times. I would have enjoyed drinking with Andy and Carla this evening...

Oh, and I've semi-retired the Dale-II's. I needed something I could wear 13+ plus hours. So I bought these semi-gay shoes. They were over $100 - WTF? People laugh at me. I'm ok with that:



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Bloodhound Gang: Hefty Fine

2005-11-03 15:45
ehowton: (Default)
Watched Elektra last night. Haven't been that bored in a long time. And I guess I'm in the minority because I don't think Jennifer Garner is hot. So seeing her wiggle her ass as she's all dolled up in tight red leather showing her midriff was not what I wanted to see. I actually found it more boring than Daredevil, which is hard to do.

In other news, they stuffed my hetero-lifemate in a box and put him on the cover of BHG's newest album! Hooray man-boobs!



I got home last night and the primary volume on my macintosh was full. Hmm. That's a 72GB drive. So I start deleting some files to alleviate the pain. Later, it fills up again. WTF? Further investigations revealed a 26GB log file detailing my SHOUTcast transcoder's activities. I trimmed it and turned off logging.

Sprite is a poor substitute for tonic water if you're drinking G&T's.

Sometimes I don't even know how I get as far as I do. I didn't have math.h so I couldn't compile an upgrade to PHP.

The following packages are available:
  1  SUNWlibm     Forte Developer Bundled libm
                  (sparc) 5.9,REV=2001.12.10


How do I always seem to manage these things?
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Every single day is the busiest day of my life...

2005-11-02 12:42
ehowton: (Default)
Drank two bottles of wine last night, one too many if you want to know the truth. A little fuzzy this morning. So I'm driving into work and the phone rings. The wireless router I set up last night is not broadcasting to the meeting group this morning. They're getting antsy. I was five minutes away. I burst in the meeting room, unbutton my suit jacket, and kneel in the corner, unplugging the wireless router from the digital phone jack, into the network jack. Cheers and clapping ensue. I make it to my desk. The phone rings. A VP's admin, hosting an offsite meeting, has a dead laptop - one we gave her. She's on the verge of panic. "I NEED AN EXECUTIVE LAPTOP, STAT!" I shout. One is placed in my hands as I shrug my coat back on. I scream down the road. One light before my turn, a taxi doing like, 4 (mph) blocks my progress. He turns where I'm turning. He stops in the entrance to the turn. There's no one in front of him. I crank the wheel and slam the accelerator. The wheels screech much longer than I expected them to, all parking spaces are taken, so I run up on the curb and pull the parking brake, sliding to a stop in front of a group of people. I flip the flashers on, jump out of the car with the laptop, and come face to face my boss, the Regional Service Delivery Manager, the Account Executive, and the Program Manager. They were the group of people in front of the hotel I came to a skidding halt in front of.

I rush in and present the laptop to the admin. "Oh." She said, "I forgot to plug it in, the battery had died in the middle of the presentation."

*black cloud*
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http://www.quiktrip.com/food/hotdogs.asp

2005-10-25 12:23
ehowton: (Default)
The 99-cent all beef hot dog from QuikTrip can trace its history back to the Tutankhamen Dynasty of ancient Egypt and may in fact be the precursor to modern civilization. Archaeologists have found hieroglyphic markings of hot dogs on the Rosetta Stone which translate to, "nourishment for the long journey to Carthage." It has even been theorized that a monument to the hot dog lay at the feet of the Sphinx but eroded some time soon after the nose. Later, the Romans adopted the hot dog and began steaming buns for added flavor. They believed this method to be a gift from their god Oscmayerus, the god of the walk-in-pantry. New evidence suggests that hot dogs were originally brought to the New World by Juan Pizarro, who traded a dozen of them for the Yucatan Peninsula.

"Why don't you take a day off, and not come to church tomorrow?"

WHO THE FSCK CARES WHAT I'M LISTENING TO? Now, we all know that xanga's gay with it's "What are you watching?" Hell man, how can you be watching something if you're making an entry to xanga? At least with LJ you can simultaneously listen to music and make a journal entry. Anyway, I've decided; They need a different entry: WHAT ARE YOU EATING?

Now I've got some input! I'm eating a mix of cheese-filled tortellini and angel hair pasta with Emril's Vodka Sauce and Five oz. of colby-jack cheese with cayenne pepper and crushed red pepper, and a bottle of red wine.

Now THAT'S an entry. That's what I want to hear. I think I'll start adding what I'm eating to my list.

Anyway, the quote above is from Million Dollar Baby, which my baby bought me on DVD - so I'm watching it now.
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what would the jesus do?

2005-08-25 10:53
ehowton: (Default)
User called yesterday, "I cannot access my blade100."
"From where?" I ask.
"From my PC sitting right next to it." He replies
"Telnet? SSH? How are you trying to access it."
I find he's trying to browse his share with Windows Explorer. "I think there's something wrong with samba." He suggests. I've been trying to get into his box remotely the entire time during the conversation. I offer this: "Is your box powered on?"
"Uh...no."
"I can guarantee you that 100% of the time you will not be able to browse your samba share when your blade is powered off."

...

My heart jumps every time I see a picture of my wife.

...

Rec'd an email today approximately 2MB in size with the subject line reading, "This will take awhile to download but is worth it."

My reply to him:

Thanks for sharing! Oh, and for the record, it took approximately 6 seconds from my OC-3, slowed only by the speed of my ISP which sustained 187/kbps with peaks of 213/kpbs!


...

Wife is driving down tonight! I took Friday off and made a hotel reservation! w00t!
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Frozen Poop On A Stick

2005-08-19 12:25
ehowton: (Default)
upon logging into my server for the first time...

ProfessorTom: keyboard ineractive authentication
ProfessorTom: I like that term better than password
EricHowton: You could call frozen poop on a stick, "icy lickable excrement" but that doesn't mean it would taste any better.


User calls to tell me he cannot telnet into a blade 2500:

"telnet is turned off," I say, "Use ssh."
"Well, I can't log in to the console."
"So, you're sitting at the computer and trying to log in?"
"Yes. It gave me a login screen, I tried to log in, then the screen just went blank."
"I'll be right there."

\time passes\

"Where did this USB drive come from?" I ask.
"I got it from (some business unit)"
"Let me rephrase. How did this USB drive come to find itself attached to this system?"
"I put there."
"You cannot dynamically attach filesystems via USB on Solaris. Remove it, then log in."
"Hey, I'm in!"
*sigh*



Official Notice:

Gentlemen,

I have accepted a Site Services Delivery Manager position on another
account within [my consulting firm].

You guys have been fantastic and this has been a wonderful account to
work on. The opportunity to move into a junior management position however,
exceeds my expectations and is the next step in my career with [my consulting firm].

I came here with hopes to help get you production ready, and believe I
have fulfilled that goal.

Please allow this to serve as my official notice, with an expected
departure date of September 2, 2005, management approval pending.


Respectfully,


Eric G. Howton
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Grrrrr!

2005-08-18 08:07
ehowton: (Default)


Went off on the Team Leader yesterday. I feel sorry for him, really. Asking me stupid questions. Poor guy.

Email he rec'd:


I've had a problem using ssh to connect from my box (blade100) to v120. Eric is to resolve this problem; and it's been several weeks. Iris is waiting for me to test the DB that she moved over there. Would you please see that this issue resolved ASAP? Thanks!


Oh, I fixed that problem alright. THREE WEEKS AGO! I deleted his third-party licensed ssh client and used Tony's brilliant SunOS 5.8 tarball to install all the packages necessary for a Solaris 8 box to run secure shell. Then I kindly (oh, so kindly and gently) explained to him how to use IP's in place of hostnames to do exactly what he wanted to do, and he was a happy, secure-shell'ing fool when I left him. Now this. And then the questions about his email from a guy who doesn't know what 'ssh' stands for. Grrrr. I exploded and walked away to work on LDAP. Today, this came in the mail from someone else:


v120 now has a new IP address. When it was given the new IP address three weeks ago, it was not added to the DNS tables or the NIS+ tables. To make matters worse, (1st email guy) and I had resolv.conf files on our Sun boxes that pointed to (old dns server), which is no longer updated but is still functioning as a DNS server and still thinks v120 is at the old address.


Ya think that might be the problem??? Asses.

He asks me yesterday, "So how's L.D.A.P. going?"

"Commonly pronounced, 'LDAP,' it's going fine thank you."

So, I've been using Photoshop Elements in place of Photoshop CS these days for several reasons. Basically, if you know CS, Elemets will just piss you off, as all the same tools are in different locations and some of the features of CS are just non-existant. By far the most wonderful thing about Elements is that it retains batch processing. I tell it, "Take these 400 images in this directory and all it's subdirectories, resize to 50% of their orginal size, make it a gif, and overwrite the original file." Nice.

Sun ONE is gay.
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Microsoft Windows

2005-06-20 10:55
ehowton: (Default)
Windows users are retarded:

So there was some domain-swapping going on this weekend, and some boxes apparently cached DNS. This one guy calls me, "The samba share on box1 is missing. The share name is 'samba_share' and it's not there. I logged into the box and couldn't see it."

So I take a peek at the smb.conf file. Yes, the name 'samba_share' is mapped to /filesystem/subdirectory. I explain that we could have named the share, 'ignorant_user' but that didn't mean that the physical directory would actually be visible on the box. He tells me, "Well, honestly, I can't connect to box1 either."

I asked him, "You do understand that's a completely different problem altogether don't you?" He admitted that he did. So I log on to, yes, a windows 'server' (I hate using the term server to describe a windows box.) and can map instantly to said share using IP. I tell the customer this. "Well, you've crippled me, but I suppose I could do that to sneak a few jobs in."

"CRIPPLE YOU?" I exclaim, "I've just freed you! You are no longer bound by name resolution! You can now work more quickly and more efficiently. I've enabled you!"

So he says, "Well, I'll try this....slash slash, box1..."

"NO!" I interrupt - use IP.

"I will, I'm just double-checking that the name won't work."

"That's the reason you called me, is it not?"

*sigh*


My new favorite cat, 'Q':

SomeBritInMass (9:36:45 AM): Q's a nice looking cat. Q from Star Trek?
EricHowton (11:05:14 AM): Q has six toes on each foot
EricHowton (11:05:37 AM): He can turn doorknobs and sip a mug of coffee.
SomeBritInMass (11:09:03 AM): what a cat.
EricHowton (11:12:45 AM): The only thing he can't do is read the morning paper.


The Higgliosaurus Corner:
No HIGGS! news today.


Oregon is Beautiful!
My favorite picture Dan took of Oregon while he was there:

The full size photograph of this can be found on his server here:
Dan's Trip to Oregon, Picture 0134

Tony:
Not that I'm conceding our earlier disagreement concerning your interpretation of the reason for using SWAT, but I did relent and just work over the sonofabitch by hand in the smb.conf. It's just easier that way sometimes.

I'm homeless. What a drag. Now I just...walk the earth, like Kane in Kung-Fu. I spend my nights in the following shelters:
1.) ADC
2.) Tony's
3.) David's
4.) My folks
5.) Wichita, Kansas
Now that's just pathetic!

A&E
Watched a John Water's film last night, "Cecil B. Demented." Pretty good if you're into that sort of thing.

"A bride without a head!"
"A wolf without a foot!"

Sung to the tune of "Dancing Queen" by ABBA:
Danzigfried, young and sweet, only 23.....

The music of the day comes supplied by: My mother's car! Since mine is in the shop.
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