The Empirical Manifesto

A week before I was to arrive in New Mexico I dreamed I was at home, and Dorian was there, just living her best life, and talking about how it was great to be back.

I was very confused.

I didn't remember taking her back, and I didn't know why she was walking around the house like we were getting back together. I think I kinda just...didn't say anything to see if I could pick up any clues on why she was there while simultaneously wracking my brain trying to remember if I'd missed some key point which could have led to her being here. I couldn't.

At one point, I went to bed. I was really surprised when she took off all her clothes and laid on top of me. I kinda freaked out a little bit, and remember thinking I'm not going to cheat on Cass. I wondered if I should call Cass and ask her if she thought I should sleep with Dorian - if that would be the simplest way to get her to leave, but as I was reaching for the phone I realized I didn't want to do that no matter what Cass would say. I wasn't going to cheat on her and I didn't want to sleep with Dorian.

Pretty sure that's when I woke up.

I never expected you to be a mother to my children. Never expected them to use such terms of endearment nor consider you as such. And though at times it wasn't easy, and at times it wasn't fun, you somehow endeared yourself to them, and it shows upon their faces, and in their words. Some would be satisfied with simply being respected, others perhaps liked, as so often in situations such as these may occur. But not you. You've managed to give them both, and I think that's a wonderful thing; it says so much about who you are and speaks to your generous nature.

So this Mother's Day I'd like to just say...

Thank you for being you.

My relationship with you is at the point where it is negatively affecting Dorian. The only visible manifestation of this is when I text you. She gets angry when I do so. She also gets angry if you happen to respond to those texts. For the time being however, she is allowing me to instead email you once per day, with the understanding that arbitrary frequency may change in the future depending upon how she feels with the new routine.

She's also decided she's not a polyamorist. I am okay with that - I knew that walking into this relationship and greatly appreciate her open-mindedness into the years she spent considering it. Unfortunately this has led her to now stating that any ethical non-monogamy is in fact, "cheating" on your spouse, which leads me to assume while she's decided she's not a polyamorist, now I shouldn't be one either.

Lastly, she feels my need for connection may be a flaw, and hopes to correct it with therapy; that somehow my need in seeking connection is caused by either her not providing for me in some way which would make it unnecessary, and/or me not focusing on our relationship enough to nullify it.

Ever since I rented that tilt-shift lens, I have imagined over and over what I could accomplish with that tool in my arsenal. I'd assumed I would simply pick up the Rokinon/Samayang/Opteka rather than drop coin on the Canon L series, but numerous reviews had me rethinking my strategy - problematic since I don't yet make enough money off them to justify all these gorgeous lenses, and even the Rokinon/Samayang/Opteka tilt-shift is $700. And while its true I could pick up a used TS-E 24mm f/3.5L (the one I'd rented for Colorado Springs) for about the same price, I hear the new one is in a category all its own, sadly with a price to match. The lomo site Lensbaby makes a couple of awkward little selective focus lenses (Spark and Composer) but those aren't really in the same league as a technical tilt-shift.
Which brings me to DIY.
A full-frame camera requires a massive lens in order to completely fill the sensor area given the variable gymnastics tilt-shift is capable of - something which cannot yet be accomplished with a standard 35mm lens. BUT FOR ABOUT THE PRICE of the Rokinon/Samayang/Opteka, I can get a used Medium Format Hasselblad Zeiss lens and an EOS tilt-shift adapter.
And since Best Buy (with their amazing 12-months 0% interest) does not yet carry the futuristic Canon TS-E 24mm f/3.5L II, I'm looking to the past.

The one thing absolutely crazy about this T* (read multicoated) lens is the amount of stray light it picks up. Thank God for Fotodiox, as an original Hasselblad lens hood runs into the hundreds of dollars - for a lens hood!

605 miles Newton, KS --> Edwards, CO
521 miles Edwards, CO --> St. George, UT
125 miles St. George, UT --> Lake Las Vegas, NV
562 miles Lake Las Vegas, NV --> Rio Rancho, NM
616 miles Rio Rancho, NM --> Newton, KS

2,429 miles in 7-days.

In some semblance of order:

First time in Vegas, baby! I was very excited. Though admittedly, "The Strip" looked nothing like any of the television shows or movies I'd ever seen. Probably because all of those were shot on Freemont street, the details of which I will surely have to look up before my next visit. Though I did recognize many of the places from co-workers' pictures during HP World a couple years back.

I was excited for a whole slew of reasons. First of all, playing catch-up with the recently relocated suzanne1945 and her new roommate, Susan. Primarily because Dan had been able to come up with an impressive enough dowry to sway her to marry off her only child, michelle1963 at the famed `Little Church of the West.` Viva Las Vegas! Which was itself an adventure, as they have a laundry list of complex "packages" from which to choose. For example, there's a fee to have their photographer shoot your wedding, but also a fee to not have their photographer shoot your wedding, should you choose to hire your own. Either way, they're getting paid. As an aside, I was very thankful our gracious hosts purchased the package in which we were allowed to sit. That said, the moment the words, "I do" were uttered, the doors were thrown open with much fanfare indicating GTFO. (I assume requisite applause immediately following nuptials was an additional, prohibitive cost as well). But I did get to meet and greet so many people and take so many pictures. I was in photography heaven.

Immediately following the wedding was the after-party (I believe some call this a "reception" but I wasn't the only one devoid of marital lore as that's what everyone was calling it) where there was a bonafide pig in a box (Cuban-style I overheard someone say), and metric ton of beer. I spent the rest of the day meeting fascinating people and capturing them with my beer-powered camera.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. There I was, patting myself on the back for scheduling mostly non-busy, short-distance, well-arranged Summer outings when the wedding announcement came. I was excited for my friend and replied with a sincere, "Congratulations." That's when GF excitedly states, "OMG WE HAVE TO GO!" And that's when I decided to shoot my first wedding.

I started looking at the lenses professional wedding photographers use, the Canon trifecta, mostly - three "L" series zoom lenses, only one of which I owned, the other two being far outside my budget. But this was also when I considered renting a lens for the first time - and while the prices of online lens renters is adequate, I really couldn't fathom sending and receiving packages on a schedule meeting my travel dates. So I turned to local businesses and found a store with outstanding reviews, B&C Camera right there in Las Vegas - they even had the one I was eyeing, the Canon 24-70mm f/2.8L II. But I was sitting on the fence about spending the $40/day and trying to decided whether I wanted it for shooting a half-hour wedding wedding, the strip the following day, or both. Either way, it was my first stop from the airport.

They didn't have the lens.

It was already rented out. But a super-friendly and knowledgeable sales associate talked me into the Tamron version - same lens plus image stabilization (IS), and for the weekend rate of $40/Saturday-morning-through-Monday-evening! This same sales associate also solved my tripod problem. I have two at the house, but didn't want to ship them to Vegas and back, and Michelle was unable to find anyone local who had one. GF had suggested purchasing an el-cheapo and just throwing it away, but the last time I'd purchased a sub-par tripod, it didn't look sturdy enough to hold my camera let alone an enormous, expensive, rented lens on it. I'd decided to see if I could get a super nice one while in town, and then just ship it back. Despite all the many tripods they had available for sale, the sales associate showed me exactly one - the ProMaster XC525 - which I didn't know how to use, but after his hands-on tutorial, I was ready.

I hit the strip early the day after the wedding - something like 0600 - well before anyone was up and moving around the shopping areas and casinos. The fact that it was already over 100-degrees probably comes into play here, though I wasn't aware of it quite yet. GF and I walked to The Venetian and had just set up my tripod near the indoor shopping area when I was approached by a security guard. "No tripods," he said.

"Seriously? Why?"

"Tripping hazard," he said. His voice echoing off the enormous, empty, cavernous space.

That evening we decided to hit the Stratosphere at dusk, to capture the gleaming city from the tallest observation tower in the United States. With the minutes ticking away, we were stuck in a photobooth queue where people were getting their pictures taken in front of a green screen. I asked the attendant, "Is there a different line to the observation deck?" The attendant threw a brilliant smile at me and proclaimed, "Nope! These pictures are all part of the experience!"

"Really? They're free?"

"No, but if you decide you want them later," she said, "They're all part of the experience!"

"Is there a way to get to the observation deck bypassing the...experience?" Her smile disappeared in an instant. "You can go on by."

Frustratingly, tripods were disallowed from the Stratosphere as well.

The rest of the trip was filled with lots of walking, a cancelled flight due to the 115-degree heat, waiting for city buses then getting kicked off of them, getting stranded at a bus stop after dark across from a bailbonds place with caged soda machines, and absolutely no sleep whatsoever. That sales associate from the camera store? We exchanged shots and ended up shooting together before I left Vegas. I also met another super-friendly photographer at the pool party and am hoping she visits us in Newton for a grand shooting adventure!

All in all, it was indeed an, "experience" with good friends, new friends, and the reason we were all there to begin with, a wedding.