The Empirical Manifesto

I've often mentioned how one's true character isn't really ever exposed unless under duress - as humans we have an amazing ability to allow others to see in us exactly what we wish them to - a construct which usually cannot withstand scrutiny through the cracks of stress. While none of us are perfect, and we all have moments of weakness or an acute inability to cope, these things usually pass. A single incident shouldn't constitute, "character." Handling events with aplomb is something I pride myself on. Still, it was a learned behavior.

But when patterns emerge...

Color me surprised. Color me very surprised.

Above all, know thyself. No, its not the biblical term for masturbation. I mean the apparent phenomenon that many people don't actually know themselves well enough to anticipate their own reactions to any number of random stimuli. Or worse, the same stimuli under different circumstances. Yes, I run into this on a near-daily basis. I even have a helpful reverse-idiom of sorts at the ready for times I encounter it. Its my get out of jail free card. I ask more or less, "Is my request the first of its nature?" I ask it to anyone who's job it is to perform a very specific function, yet who appear genuinely surprised ^* when its my turn to ask it of them.


The Judeo-Christian systems of belief would have you believe that the meek are going to inherit the earth. Not meek as its defined now, as it was. To mean gentle, yielding. As in turning oneself over to the service of the Lord and not fighting against His Will (Thy Will be done). I've sat through many a sermon agonizing over and studying the original Hebrew dialect in order to gain understanding of the word choice first used by King David in Psalms and later by Christ in Matthew. After all, who doesn't want to inherit the earth?


Unsurprisingly, I feel differently. Not that I don't want to inherit the earth - I do, but that I alone shall inherit it. At least, myself and those of my ilk. For its not the meek who will do so, rather the open-minded; those who can integrate new information into their belief system and exceed the limitations of their programming. The funny thing about close-mindedness as an ethos is that it has a way of proving itself ineffective through active rejection of newly discovered knowledge. So if the close-minded can claim that they shall inherit the earth through close-mindedness, I can certainly claim otherwise - and I have a whole lot more confidence in the unprejudiced, unbigoted, and impartial than the millions of monotheists out there who would disagree with me. Close-mindedness just seems like such a dead-end way of life despite their unsubstantiated claims to the contrary.


I personally learn through a process of doing - hands on experimentation. Succeeding and failing both. If the outcome is not as expected, I change a variable and try again. Some people give up entirely upon their first failure and see any further attempts as fruitless defeatism. Others try and try again, but miss completely the learning portion of the lesson by refusing to change any variables. In this case, I feel that I am with what I have presumed is the majority - those who persevere no matter their ideology, and that I can at least respect.


Changing, growing, can be as difficult as attempting to define something as elusive as love. Some make lists of things they do which prove love, or have ideas about another's actions which would run contrary to that list, thus disprove it - after all, we all see the world differently. Myself? I only know the depth of my feelings of affection and devotion - without lists. The moment I've written it down it runs the risk of limiting me - slowing me down from experiencing something which may greatly add to my exposure. Lists can get confining fast, and most of us aren't into limiting our expressions of love, but growing them - exceeding both the expectations of others, and expectations of self. Think Old Testament versus New Testament. In the former "works" were required for blessings, in the latter only Grace.


And speaking of sweeping theological changes, ever since Christ said so then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot I will spue thee out of my mouth, I've been walking the narrow path between two camps of hotheads everywhere I go. No matter what the subject of conversation is, NO ONE WANTS TO BE SPEWED FROM JESUS' MOUTH. They therefore run full hot, or full cold, under the assumption that one is more important than the other, never bothering to question why, and only seeking council and advice from like-minded folk which is nothing more than egotistical validation. These people are incapable of feeling shame, replacing it with pride and calling it humility. How can I combat that?


I was a teenager when my mother explained to me that I needed to get to know myself. I thought she was an idiot - I was me for goodness sake - how could I not know me? Of course I discovered what she meant during the months I spent in near-isolation the first time I left home. 5,130 miles from home to be precise. And have since learned that there are other activities in which to acquaint yourself with...yourself. The same tools used in character-building can also illuminate autognosis if you allow it, as its something which requires nurturing. And despite my own series of scenarios of how I would behave in any series of circumstances, even I'm surprised by my own emotional reactions at times. Except that by adding that knowledge to my data-set then helps me in anticipating it in future outcomes, thus strengthening my armament for dealing with whatever life throws at me. Perfect? No. Better than being continually (and more often than not negatively) surprised by life? Absolutely.


I told a young man once what my father told me when I was a young man, "The severe polarity you feel righteously about is common amongst youth. As you grow, learn, experience and mature, you'll start to question everything. And when you do, you'll find you become more moderate in your views as you discover the truth, which always lies somewhere in the middle." I explained to this young man that my father's words were true because it was just as I had experienced it, and I wanted him to experience it as well. This freedom from a lifetime of ignorance. The youth said I was stupid for being so weak to turn away from [whatever the ideological conversation was at the time].


So go forth and be meek. Or not. Run hot and cold. It doesn't matter, you're not going to inherit the earth. I am. I will outlast you. I will try and fail and learn and succeed. My dizzying array of hands-on empirical activities will trump your hibernation because I am infinitely flexible. Entropy destroys that which is unchanging - like those principles you put so much stock into - but has a difficult time feeding from that which grows and I am on a path of personal growth. I'll get mine in the end, and this is why.

---

^{* http://ehowton.livejournal.com/322402.html}

The little things. Sweat them not. Broad strokes are ideal for general feelings of well-being. We can always control broad strokes, even when using the Butterfly Effect of Chaos Theory - changing one very tiny thing to see how it unfolds. Less simple is attempting to control the outcome of many threads simultaneously. So don't. That path leads only to frustration. Learn instead to appreciate the outcomes you can control. In a word, yourself. You are the single-most important variable to any of your scenarios. You're also the easiest thing for you to manipulate. When you are finding it exceedingly difficult to change a situation you're unhappy with, change your perspective by changing yourself. Suddenly, its no longer an obstacle. Its an assist. Wow!

No, its not magic. And sure its difficult - anything worth doing is. But only its unfamiliarity makes it so. Start small. Try it with little things. Try it on for size. See how it feels. Don't go too far outside your comfort zone, but go far enough. What do I mean? Its like this: What you're doing now is obviously not working, so you really have nothing to lose, despite the initial discomfort of uncertainty. Once you've had a few small successes - and failures, don't forget the importance of failure - you can branch out even further. Utilize your newfound power on even larger issues to tackle. Bam!

Case in point: Recently I came up against a real prick of a Project Manager. While its true that it takes a certain personality type to excel in that role, its not a prerequisite to be a dick. Nonetheless, there are those who enjoy flexing muscles they're disallowed from flexing elsewhere in their lives. Regardless, I found myself stuck with him. My first reaction I'm now embarrassed to say was overt disdain. Mind you, I also had my reasons - very good reasons. But that doesn't make how I reacted any more honorable. As things were coming to a head, I decided on an alternate strategy. I would kill him with kindness!

Respect is earned. Nonetheless, I chose to pretend to respect this man, his position, and his authority. I thought that by pretending to respect him, at some point I might trick myself into *actually* respecting him. Guess what? It was easier than I anticipated. The more respectful I became, the less of a dick he was. I also found that he was good at what he did, and a strong contender to have in my corner when things on the project temporarily turned South. The best part? My life was now much, much easier. The conflict was gone and I greatly multiplied the effectiveness, and joy, in my daily activities. All these wonderful things because I chose to not be a dick back.

Its not magic. It just seems like it because its such a foreign concept. We all wonder from time to time how so-and-so manages to always seem so content at everything life is throwing at them. Now you know. The best part? This is one of those experiments you CAN try at home!

Dr. Pangloss
I am a very poor choice to those who wish to seek comfort or understanding from, as I have not suffered much. I do not know whether this is because I choose to always adapt optimistically in the face of adversity, or due to it. Either way, if true hardship were to come my way I don' know if my optimism would be enough to carry me through it, or if I would succumb utterly and completely. As I am a man of excesses, I'm quite sure it would be one or the other, without even a semblance of balance. Not that I'm bragging - quite the opposite in fact, I simply seem to be predisposed to good fortune. And while those with much angst often point out that if I were truly charmed I wouldn't have to work for a living, I simply shrug, smile, and go back to doing a job I enjoy while they continue to toil ceaseless in obscurity and hardship forever, as that's entirely the point. Happiness does not mean being independently wealthy or having your every desire handed to you on a whim. Its why I don't play the lottery - I find my happiness through the fruits of my own labors.

Pangloss has been on my mind quite a bit these last couple of days, as I associate more closely with him than any other fictional character I've ever run across - and even then understanding that he exists as a parody. What does that say about how I view myself? Personal optimism correlates strongly with self-esteem, with psychological well-being and with physical and mental health¹. Or perhaps I'm just a fool? Regardless, while I generally can't outline exactly how something's going to work out, I find that part of it superfluous anyway, as I know its going to work out. I base this solely on the fact that it always has, and preach this to others, sometimes to my own detriment. So be it. One of the nice things about being a Panglossian is that if you get angry at me because of my overt joviality, it was likely meant to be. C'est la vie. I am always very sincere, or at least I always pretend to be. Sometimes I don't care which. I find this also annoys most people.

Master Pangloss taught the metaphysico-theologo-cosmolonigology.

Serendipity
I have an old pair of on-ear headphones I've had for many years that I keep at work to listen to music on, and as they were aging and starting to give out every now and again, I wasn't too upset when they recently broke. At Best Buy I found a pair of Sony noise-canceling headphones for under $75 and thought I'd give them a shot, having recently toyed with the idea of getting the Bose again.

I never considered that a fully-functioning data center sounded like the inside of an aircraft in flight, but for the first time in literal years found myself on escort duty the majority of my day today, inside the server room itself. Armed with my new headphones, I placed them on my head and activated noise-canceling. It was as if I were immediately transported back to to the Bose store, standing in front of a projector and speakers which very realistically simulated the cabin of an aircraft at 30,000 feet, and then having that noise cut down to a whisper. I slipped the gold tipped plug into my iPod's headphone jack and pressed, "Play."

I was rewarded with the first track of Excelsior! and suddenly struck at how a fortuitous series of events led me to be spending five hours in a noisy data-center with a pair of noise-canceling headphones in which I was able to limitlessly enjoy some great music for an uninterrupted period of time.

It just goes to prove that everything's for the best in this best of all possible worlds.