The Sign of Four

2012-09-16 00:00
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I was first introduced to confirmation bias when [livejournal.com profile] dentin wondered if my ever-positive attitude wasn't its byproduct. A valid question as it turns out when I looked it up to see what he meant:

A type of cognitive bias in which people tend to seek out information which agrees with previously held beliefs. They also lend more weight to informational input which supports their beliefs, while discarding contradictory information.*

Right off the bat I knew that my primary modus operandi was to assume I was wrong, and seek out to first debunk my beliefs prior to strengthening them through validation. So no, I do not suffer from confirmation bias. But I know people who do. While that kind of cognitive defect doesn't work for me, what harm is there in it working for others who by all accounts are just trying to survive in this world day by day? If your own personal pair of rose-colored glasses is working for you, where's the harm?

The confirmation bias is one of the most common cognitive biases, and it can also be the most dangerous, because it can lead people into very poor decisions on the basis of questionable information.*

This is why cognitive distortion is so harmful and actually doesn't work long-term. Click the graphic to understand how not to think and why:



"There is no more important skill in today's world than being able to think about, understand, and act on information in a way that is both effective and responsible. Critical thinking transforms you from a passive member of society into an active participant in the ideas and issues of the day. It empowers you to better understand nearly every single aspect of everyday life, from health and nutrition to science and technology to philosophical and spiritual belief systems."*

If there is such an easy, repeatable way to verify that what we may believe is wrong, and an easy, repeatable way to greatly enhance all aspects of our quality of life, why don't more people do it? The answer to this is far more problematic - some people just don't wish to change.

Why is it so hard to change? Fear. "Below are some -- only some -- of the more common issues that get in the way of change. They are presented in no particular order and in no particular order of severity. Some of these are reasonable, logical causes for simply generally not wanting to change things. Some of these are simple glitches in judgement or logic or data collection. Some reach the level of toxicity and can be so extremely painful that many people wouldn't find it comfortable to imagine how someone can sustain such difficult attitudes and beliefs."

"But most fear is not irrational. The fear stems from a lack of understanding, a lack of experience, or similarities to a negative experience. With unknowns and bad vibes looming, the risks of the situation start to completely overshadow any benefits. The fearful tend to dig in their heals. They have trouble seeing benefits at all and begin to distrust those who push them too hard. They aren’t going to suddenly lose their fear if you try to trick them, manipulate them, or slip something past them. Furthermore, the fear can feed on itself. Selling benefits in this situation is simply futile. If you hope to resume progress, you have to reduce the fear. And as with most problems, you can’t reduce a symptom without identifying and addressing the cause. You have to get to the underlying cause of the fear."*

I imagine one day living in a world where everyone I interact with is open and receptive to resolving conflict though the simple mechanics of not just acknowledging that other viewpoints may exist, but actively understanding them to avoid future conflict. To address fear - not to showcase it - but to conquer it.

At the risk of introducing the Holmesian Fallacy (much like the flawed golden-rule), it is nonetheless a good starting point:

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

"The presumed independence of emotion and reason are illusory. Rather than chosing which is right, we should understand how they relate and let them work together."* Former President Richard M. Nixon said, "People are persuaded by reason, but moved by emotion." I awkwardly get moved to action by being emotionally motivated by reason. While I may ultimately disagree with someone's opinion about how they wish to live their life, I will only argue that they are in error if they come by their conclusions erroneously.
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Contemplation

2012-07-12 00:00
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It's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful.
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Eeyore Abhor

2012-07-09 00:00
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I have this powerful ability to automatically "re-frame" everything I run across to ensure the widest view possible. Every once in awhile I find myself slipping into conscious re-framing. Both are effective means of adaptive behavior. I am rarely angry, hurt, offended, or exasperated. Mostly, I'm amused. Human behavior amuses me. People amuse me. Close-mindedness, at times, amuses me. But is it possible to "re-frame" things negatively?

Recently, I had the theory that it would have to be statistically improbably to always react defensively to something not immediately understood. Odds are, people would only be fearful of what they don't instinctively comprehend about half the time, right? Nope! Those who fear what they do not understand will fear it 100% of the time. So I had to ask myself, "Why?"

[livejournal.com profile] ehowton: Why?

As it turns out I was right. At least, half-right. Re-framing can go both ways. Re-framing is a conscious-level sub-set of something called "cognitive restructuring" which is almost always guided, and absolutely always positive. People can and do automatically and unconsciously re-frame negatively which is maladaptive behavior, also known as (wait for it)...cognitive distortion!

They believe that negative events are caused by them (internal). They believe that one mistake means more will come (stable), and mistakes in other areas of life are inevitable (global), because they are the cause. They see positive events as flukes (local) that are caused by things outside their control (external) and probably won’t happen again (unstable).*

And that right there was a definition of "pessimist" which we'd previously thought was a natural balance to optimists until we understood it to be harmful distorted thinking; maladaptive behavior, "avoiding situations because you have unrealistic fears may initially reduce your anxiety, but it is non-productive in alleviating the actual problem in the long term." People, I am all about alleviating the actual problem - not ceaselessly repeating it over and over over ad nauseum. I have a limited mean-time between failure and it is directly related to rotational spin.

As I was contemplating the idea that those who most suffer from maladaptive behavior probably either don't know that they do, or don't believe that they do I picked up a book by Zen author Thich Nhat Hanh, which talked about immigrating as boat people where, "We could have drowned at any moment. We could have been killed or injured by sharks or sea pirates. For those of us who took the trip we still have the images of all these dangers in our consciousness." Like you, I wondered what his point was to all this. When I found it, my mind was opened. For years I have been struggling with a way to articulate how unwarranted fears are dumb because they do not exist in reality. Thich Nhat Hanh quite plainly says,

Now we have reached the other shore. We have been accepted as refugees. We are on solid ground. But sometimes we forget. Sometimes we touch the images of those moments, and we still suffer, even thought we're safe. Each time we're in touch with the images, the suffering arises again. This is true even though the suffering may have happened a long time ago.

Many of us are still caught in the world of images; they are not reality anymore. Suppose we still keep a picture of the ocean where we could have drowned. When we look at the picture, we feel the suffering and the fear,. But mindfulness and concentration can bring the insight that this is only a picture, this is not the ocean. We can drown in the ocean, but we can't drown in a picture.

And this is what separates me from Zen Masters - because I understand this, I do not fear. But I'm not equipped to ceaselessly train others in this art outside of these writings. THIS RIGHT HERE is my instruction if you choose to view it as such, because when I'm done with this entry I'm going to go live my life as I see fit and not even expend the energy to shrug my shoulders if you choose to lag behind. I have things I want to accomplish. Rocket's red glare and all that.

Did you notice he said nothing about not being scared as shit while actually crossing said ocean? I extrapolate that the first step of ending suffering - not being subject to irrational fear - is to put the experience behind you. You cannot separate pictures from reality when you're living in the reality. Step One: Get the fuck out of that reality. Step Two: Separate the memory of it from your new reality.

"You can suffer for as long as you wish, and when you no longer want to suffer, you can stop."

Fuck suffering. I'm done with it.

fini
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No Fear

2012-07-07 11:30
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Excitingly Existentialistic

2012-05-09 07:26
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As a non-linear thinker, I have a difficult time conceptualizing abstract ideas for the purposes of illustration. But when I do, they are very nearly irrefutable. That is, unless it butts up against disbelief. Just as one cannot use logic to prove or disprove the existence of The Almighty, there will be people who do not believe my expanded definitions of more common ideals. And very often in trying to illustrate them, their more simplistic chunks appear contradictory rather than nuanced. Its no wonder I struggle so hard to be understood. My comprehension of abstruse theories of my own creation fascinate me to no end; ideas which I find poignant to everyday living, or more to the point, creating/sustaining success out of each and every day, indefinitely.

Its interesting to inspect that which unearths from a process of critical thinking. One of my weaknesses (strengths) is my inability to apply logic to only a single instance without further applying it across the board. I was once told by a professional psychologist who awkwardly suffered from confirmation bias that the scientific method cannot be applied to everything. Naturally, I disagreed with him.

That same psychologist also ridiculed me for being too esoteric - as if the very underpinnings of psychology were based wholly in the concrete sciences! My point is, while we all understand different things at different levels, I tend to place far less restrictions on even applied concepts, and even less so on the theoretical. But it wasn't always this way with me.

I used to believe in rigid, stovepipe definitions of concepts - believing my societal views absolute - until I experienced them differently, or was faced with something which fell outside the default. Over time, by very slowly absorbing and applying knowledge which differed from my initial beliefs, I now not only experience a much broader spectrum of defining attributes, but by default now reject traditional ideas and their definitions. Why? I have discovered that most everything I believed true was inaccurate. At least from my perspective of experiencing it. Default societal values are nothing more than lowest-common-denominator guidelines. Its when the masses treat these starting points as hard and fast rules that conflict arises.

While I was a young man attending an environmental science academy I was taught many liberal things - things I believed to be true because my instructors were articulate, world-weary adventurous adults. By the time I left home, moved overseas and started experiencing the world firsthand, I found that what I saw and what I was taught were two very different things. It was a very confusing couple of years for me as I worked to reconcile, and unlearn certain truths which had been ingrained in me.

Regardless, what is right for me may or may not be right for someone else. Rigid, stovepiped definitions work very well for those who cannot wrap their head around abstraction - it is therefore not wrong for someone like that to grasp onto those comforts, provided they don't attempt to apply it to what everyone else ought to be doing. My wife surprised me the other day with an idea of considering the "European Method" for an upcoming event. I'll have to admit, I was shocked. I was not raised that way. But I can certainly take new information and apply it to my own life. After a little consideration, I agreed with her assessment. Had I not, it would have been for entirely my own, newly formed reasons.

And don't forget the importance of continually expiring personal baselines! Just because that question was answered once before doesn't mean an adjustment hasn't been made to the filter used to accept the inclusion of new information based on previous experience. Absolutely question it again! Its only when we don't that we become a part of the problem and stop thinking for ourselves.

While its true that one can always find the negative in any outcome, I've discovered that restricting my own actions based on someone else's fear has never enriched my life, and more pointedly, has never actually managed to alleviate those fears. The other day I posted this quote:

There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.

It got me to thinking it could be far more reaching than the face value indicates. If we do not know why we believe what we believe - question ourselves, our intent, our motivations, the source of our beliefs - if we do not know why we behave the way we behave, there may very well never be happiness because we're operating under false assumptions. The only thing I know for sure - and I apply it to myself only - limiting myself crushes my soul. Like Bell in SyFy's Alphas, I see infinite possibilities in the very air surrounding me able to be limitlessly manipulated.

Sometimes its not about finding happiness, but keeping it.
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Gordo

2012-05-01 14:08
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I posted my picture on that snatch-laden Russian community where I received the guttural reply, "Вылитый Гордон Фримен, ага" which, loosely translated suggests I look like Gordon Freeman from the video game Half Life. Now while I wish I had that much hair, during my search for pictures I found others of Dr. Gregory House from the television series House, MD dressed in the same garb drawing the same conclusions (though I look even less like him).

And all of this just kind of came together with having been toying with the idea that restricting access to the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Garden of Eden by the Omnipotent Being, "God" meant that we as a species absolutely do not require negatives in our life to more appreciate the positives.

Divinity aside, I myself have often fallen prey to the platitude that "bad" things tend to help us appreciate the "good" things; that taking anything for granted is a sure-fire way to discover your appreciation of something is ever only temporary. And yet, despite knowing this - believing it to be true - very few of us actively seek to live a life that sucks and is full of hardship and suffering so that later we can drink deeply from the vessel of happiness. Although I myself have chosen that path for that very reason, it almost always seemed to backfire. Regardless, I no longer require that level of empiricism. I absolutely know I do not require negatives in my life to put the positives in perspective for me.

So where does House fit in?

I was thinking about his uneven temperament. In his world, the outcome of identical scenarios is never consistent. One day he could react with laughing and joy, the next lashing out in anger. If everything was seemingly the same, why the difference? The difference is the rules in his head that no one else knows about, coupled with the foggy soup of feelings - unexamined emotions which are allowed to manifest. There was a neighborhood lady who liked to tell jokes and laugh and chase us kids. One day she didn't feel like doing that, but no one knew. All of a sudden what we were doing was unacceptable in her eyes and she became inconsolable.

I like rules, yes - but they only work if I know what they are. When my children were younger and playing tag with each other in the yard, "safe" areas were never stationary, they were arbitrarily designated places closest to wherever they happened to be at the time. Unlimited time outs designed in a such a way to never lose. And while I am convinced I no longer require strife to assist in illuminating happiness, I do believe that only through occasional failure can we truly learn unexpected things.

How can I believe both with a clear conscious? Simple. I don't hitch my feelings of positivity nor negativity to things which can be given or taken. By making myself solely responsible for my feelings of self-worth I have conquered all fear of loss. Many preach personal responsibility forgetting that it applies equally to behavior - not just actions.
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Pledge of Allegiance

2012-01-30 07:10
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Its interesting to inspect that which unearths from a process of critical thinking. One of my weaknesses (strengths) is my inability to apply logic to only a single instance without further applying it across the board. I was once told by a professional psychologist who awkwardly suffered from confirmation bias that the scientific method cannot be applied to everything.


Naturally, I disagreed with him.


Inspection of that which has been unearthed can lead to all sorts of confusing conclusions, both real and imagined, and it takes formidable constitution (those of us who require it - e.g. [livejournal.com profile] dentin probably only requires validity of the knowledge rather than quiet reflection upon it) to question our own core values should it to permeate that deep. And almost everything I touch eventually does.


My miserably disjointed Impermanence post (which I understand is a gem amongst the rough to the linear-thought crowd) touched on many things I needed to flesh-out at a later date. As there are many things yet left unsaid, I've saved these commentaries for an as-needed basis, which is currently allegiances.


I was thinking about Christ the other day. Or the Catholic church - I don't remember which - and the outpouring of sentiment against either Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code or J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter (very likely both) at the time of their release, and I got to thinking about all that fear. So much unmitigated fear. There's healthy fear - that which triggers our fight-or-fight response and creates in us an ability to become hyper-aware. But that's not what this feels like. This feels like hysteria. Phobia. The wrong kind of fear.


As I was contemplating Christ, or the Catholic church - I don't remember which - I was struck with how Old Testament fear is a dumb way to motivate your flock. Especially given mankind's penchant for instant gratification at the very reasonable price of an irresponsible future. Fire and brimstone sucks today - but if it means I can bang hot chicks now and suffer that shit later, sign me up! No, what should work best is freely sharing knowledge for a hope of understanding. Solid, repeatable, metrics as to why following specific deities or religions are advantageous over others. Not fear. Not unprovable threats of missing out on everlasting life.


When I was attending the Worldwide Church of God it was never suggested that we spend some time with other religions to see if would be a better fit. Why? Because ours was the true Christian church. All other Christians were going to be cast into the Lake of Fire during the Third Resurrection. Seeking salvation elsewhere was blasphemous treason against the Kingdom of God. In reality, the church survived on tithes and could not afford to lose membership. Fear.


I'd suggested that only by contemplating, contrasting and comparing contrary ideologies would you truly believe in something with all your heart, and more importantly, all your mind. Its difficult to stand up for something you believe in when you don't know why you believe in it. Which, because I had used the word allegiance, made me wonder if what I'd said was also applicable to one's sovereignty.


Its been many years since I've been released from my vow to defend this Nation with my life:

"I, Eric Howton, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

Yet while I found recanting the divinity of Christ earth-shattering to the "pre-current-me", I'm finding the same logic behind pledging allegiance to this nation - my nation - even moreso. Why is that?


When I was growing up we still had to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in school - something we no longer have to do. And while the words "Under God" were added by President Eisenhower in 1954, one thing which wasn't forced upon us children outside the home was daily prayer. American flags lined the street during the more patriotic holidays, less so scenes of Christianity outside the odd Nativity scene or "HE IS RISEN" signs during the pagan Vernal Equinox. We've been indoctrinated to be Americans since a very early age, and as a nation of religious freedom, more aggressively.


But this is okay, right? Absolutely! Unless you're North Korean, for example. Better to understand how your ideology works and compares to others and given the freedom to choose, for only then it is truly freedom. That being said, I have lived amongst other ideologies, and for those who get bent out of shape over the differences in the Democrats view of our nation versus the Republican view, I mock you openly, for I have seen Democracy versus Socialism, and Communism and there is no comparison. I do not give my allegiance to the United Sates freely anymore, rather it has been earned.


I wonder what other things in my life I will find suffer or thrive from blind vows of permanence?
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Impermanence

2012-01-17 13:45
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I've been using the wrong words. For a communicator such as myself, that's bad news. No wonder no one knows what the hell I'm going on about half the time when I start pontificating - and I do. Pontificate. I like the sound of that word. I need a pope-hat, goddammit.


Words. They mean things. I've been toying with the concept of change here lately. Mostly, because I've seemingly gone through a great deal of it myself. Yet there are those who use the word as an epithet, spat from their lips as they would something vile.


But I haven't. Changed. Not really. Because who I am is centered around my unyielding acceptance of new ideas. So I'm pretty much the same as I've always been. The same person who can engage new information and utilize that knowledge in new applications of practicality. My strengths are my weaknesses; my weaknesses my strengths - there is not much there to change without breaking me. My interests may change - that which I desire - like the old BBC show Connections which (lifted directly from Wikipedia) "took an interdisciplinary approach to the history of science and invention and demonstrated how various discoveries, scientific achievements, and historical world events were built from one another successively in an interconnected way to bring about particular aspects of modern technology." So it is with me. Successively interconnected.


Its my understanding of the world around me which has changed.


And by very definition, the world itself.


While I have remained affably malleable.


It sounds prohibitive to personal growth to state allegiances, because if the thing we vow to remains unchanged through time, it will probably destroy itself through entropy for the world will change around it regardless. If it doesn't, wouldn't that limit my own wisdom by disallowing me the freedom to contemplate, contrast and compare contrary ideologies? It seems to me that only by embracing everything and testing it can you truly believe in something wholeheartedly - not the other way around!


Wisdom through understanding should be far, far more permanent than that based upon fear; more defensible.


What I didn't understand earlier was how each new experience directly begets a requirement for additional experiences. My information will always be incomplete, but all knowledge is in someway connected. I never know what I need to know next until I finish where I am. Its like following a whirlwind of search-engine hyperlinks but in real/life - how can you challenge yourself with beliefs you have not been faced with? This is why I am well suited for empiricism; thriving upon that which opens figurative floodgates of data on which to process.


I'm not waiting for something better to come along, I'm not even seeking it - I'm searching endlessly for that which will ever evolve: myself. Life is not a constant and neither are we. We are impermanent beings in an impermanent world seeking some semblance of permanence? How fucked up is that? No wonder so many people define happiness differently. Which is another word I need to stop using, for I have learned its not happiness that I'm seeking in myself, nor trying to identify in others - its positivity.


I was recently introduced to the precepts of Secular Humanism which I attempted to quantify through over-simplifying (a process which can assist in understanding at the risk of granularity) and I decided upon positivity. I've heard it said that "True joy can only come from God," but never from a non-believer. I am absolutely entitled to appreciating the majesty of nature without the stigma off a creator attached to the experience, were I to choose to. That being said, I found Secular Humanity's inclusion of altruism as curiously counterintuitive. No doubt a by-product of my over-simplification. Thus a new idea has manifested itself in such a manner than an entire belief system could be fabricated from its inception. And I find that fascinating.


Speaking of me! I'm oft reminded of one of my favorite Serenity exchanges where members of the crew are all arguing and someone states, "Nobody's saying that." Someone else clarifies, "Nobody but Jayne is saying that." Because Jayne *did* say it, a fact dismissed by a member of the crew who wanted only her statement to be true. When I announce my feelings (don't faint, I do have them) out in the open, invariably someone will follow up with, "No one feels that way," contradicting themselves the moment it leaves their lips, because I do. I feel that way! Therefore someone does. Just because that person is me does not make it not true.


Spirituality itself is a malleable word, having both traditional and modern underpinnings. When I use it I'm not necessarily referring to the supernatural, and when I do refer to the supernatural I'm using it as a place holder until my logic can catch up to my ignorance. Many use spiritual to discuss non-denominational beliefs while others use it in a more secular manner to describe the importance of their life-journey. And while I've been aware of the depth of the commitment being felt by those who use it, I myself have shied away from it as descriptive of me or my activities. This has, on occasion, made me appear shallow and unfocused.


I submit to you today that during the authoring of this entry I came the closet I've been in a long time to any sort of emotional fortitude gained through a singular goal, and for me that's a reaffirmation of my own beliefs, which I have outlined here. I am affected by everything I intake consciously with my senses, I am affected by everything I intake unconsciously through nocturnal post-processing, and I am damn fast at extrapolative linking. Change fascinates me, and I embrace it over the only alternative - ignoring its inevitability. Lessons of impermanence have never faulted those who trust in them.
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Double-Whammy 茶

2011-12-06 09:09
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"We deem those happy who from the experience of life have learned to bear its ills without being overcome by them." ~ Carl Jung

I am consistently amazed at not only everything I see around me, but everything I also experience no matter the size of that experience. I'm fascinated by the Kansas wind, and the depth of bone-chilling temperatures. I marvel at my children every single day - at their growth, and their articulation of the world as they view it. I shun all negative thoughts and live a full life alone, outside the hustle and bustle of community. That too, astounds all my senses. I never have to speak to anyone in person, outside my wife, my clone, and my children. Perfect.

Consider the recurring pattern in the following 3 examples:

  1. INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.1

  2. They are not generally susceptible to catchphrases and do not recognize authority based on tradition, rank, or title.2

  3. Masterminds [INTJs] do not feel bound by established rules and procedures, and traditional authority does not impress them, nor do slogans or catchwords. Only ideas that make sense to them are adopted; those that don't, aren't, no matter who thought of them.3


Now consider this trait of a self-actualized person even if their personality type were the opposite of an INTJ:

Is strongly ethical and moral in individual (not necessarily conventional) ways; Is capable of detachment from culture4

&

The self-actualized individual does not conform to other people's ideas of happiness or contentment.5

It would appear that I have a double-dose of creating and living in my own reality - not letting my happiness be defined by anything other than myself, and certainly not being constrained by any convention whatsoever. Either one of the two traits would be enormously freeing, but both? Very nearly incomprehensible.

And speaking of happiness, [livejournal.com profile] codekitten left THE TOP 5 REGRETS OF THE DYING on my Relationships post, which covers a portion of self-actualization without actually addressing self-actualization and I was astonished to discover two things - one, that I have already accomplished four of the five, and secondly, that there was no mention whatsoever of religion or spirituality. Curious:

  1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
    • This was the most common regret of all.

  2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
    • Working from home 24x7 has provided me a wonderful opportunity to always be available for my children, but I'll have to get back to you on this one.

  3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
    • We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

      (I've done this myself recently and the jury is still out.)

  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
    • This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.


People, I have been posting on this last one for years now. Its good to see I'm on the right track. WHY do so many disagree that happiness is entirely intrinsic? WHY do the rely solely upon external influences to be motivated? WHY do so many disagree that happiness is a choice? I've done my part in spreading the joy. I did it for years! I positively affected people - not like Jesus preaching to the masses, much more insidiously - spreading my happiness individually amongst others, and watching them light up one by one, spreading that happiness outward exponentially. Its always truly a sight to behold.

Yet many who read this will they think they too are happy, not understanding that true happiness is being content with what you have right now - today, not tomorrow, not some future date; today - being content emotionally, financially, even perhaps spiritually if that's your thing. If you cannot choose when you're happy and when you're not, you're not there yet - you're not truly happy until you are 100% effective at dialing it in on demand and maintaining it. If this concept seems foreign to you fine - but its not impossible, and its not magic. Its how happy, successful people live.

I've heard it said that if you don't experience sadness, or frustration how do you know what happiness really is? Really? Who here has not experienced those things already? And it not about not feeling sad, or angry, or frustrated - its absolutely about acknowledging them as such and then not letting them affect you. So yeah, I feel those things to from time to time, which must mean I am re-defining and re-asserting my happiness often. Ergo, I absolutely know what true happiness really is. Do you?

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~ Albert Einstein.


茶


1 - http://typelogic.com/intj.html
2 - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTJ
3 - http://www.keirsey.com/4temps/mastermind.aspx
4 - http://www.amid.com/werd/15-traits-of-the-self-actualized-person
5- http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/tp/self-actualized-characteristic.htm


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Circumcenter

2011-09-15 09:15
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The mind is a fertile playground, filled with both thoughts shared, and thoughts best left unsaid. Which we choose to do with each, as a Freud would say is a job for the eternal struggle betwtix id and super-ego; a massive, heaven and hell power play which takes place in our sub-conscious mind, leaking ever so infrequently into our waking thoughts. And yet as evil and selfish as our id is made out to be, the greatest driving force behind our super-ego, fear - is far, far more damaging to those who venture out to mingle amongst others.

Fear of rejection, fear of being judged, fear of ostracism, rejection, change, failure - all these things and more from people we know, people we don't know, ourselves and even God Himself. So much fear, so much hesitation, so much environmental molding that we never even question our own motivations.


Orbs within an orb to perceive
And this sphere is your heart
And this truss its strength
Tucked away in an elongated cube
These staffs shall perambulate you
Until the end of your days.
For the fear which binds us, it also blinds us


If your best days were the bygone days of old, for what are you now living? What animates you and perhaps more importantly - do you know why? Have you ever questioned - no, studied the daily events your life, how you got there, what you hope to accomplish, but perhaps most importantly why you do it. Have you ever stepped outside of it in order to look in? Not in order to see what others see, but as a change or perspective to see what YOU see.

Rediscover yourself. If its been awhile since you pushed your envelope, by all means do so.

And never let the bastards get you down.
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Authority

2011-08-24 01:36
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I had always assumed the reason I was able to live without regret was that I made smart decisions one after the other. But somewhere along the way when decisions became decidedly more complex, and affected multiple systems, sometimes which decision was more right or more wrong wasn't as easily observed. Yet I continued to live happily in my decisions, which I then assumed was due to the perseverance to stick to the decisions I'd made without lament.

Further analysis reveals that I live without regret because I've never made rash choices out of character. At every crossroads, I've always chosen the more logical path. Perhaps not necessarily the easier path, nor the more fun path, but the one which would allow me to continue behaving in the manner I had become accustomed to.

That's not to say there hasn't been fun along the way. Sometimes the logical path is the more adventuresome of the two, and turning down adventure has also never been in my character. And of course since I find failure and fear fascinatingly effective teachers, I've also been known to choose those things as well from time to time to prove myself right, and sometimes to prove myself wrong.

In reading the INTJ community blog here on livejournal, I came across a thread where INTJs were scoffing at those who felt they needed to back up their statements with a resume of sorts - positions held or experiences had in which qualified their opinion - as not only unnecessary, but damaging to the posters reputations. One went so far to say that he would dismiss it out of hand if the poster felt he had to qualify his opinion.

Its truly amazing where I run into close-mindedness. The most open-minded and reality-creating personality group out there, and I run into this? Of course that's not the first place I've seen it, and it sadly won't be the last. No, the first was right here on this blog. Because I do believe experience counts. Its how I make nearly all of my decisions, and seek out new experiences to reinforce them. Which is why I'm flummoxed at those who'll state in the same breath that empirical testing shouldn't be placed above theoretical knowledge yet they have difficulty often making difficult choices. To me its crystal clear.

My son wanted to drop out of band because he was really enjoying P.E. at his new school and band would pull him out of that class every other day. We had a bit of a sit down after I cancelled his class because I was saddened to discover he pulled out of band before even trying it. When questioned about the importance of trying something prior to deciding, I settled upon authority.

Those who have opinions based solely upon theoretical knowledge really aren't living at all, and I've found them more close-minded than those who've walked the walk. Until you've tried and failed, you've never learned. But if you make choices based on something you've first set your hand to, you have authority behind your opinion - tangible, measurable authority.

And no one can take that away from you.



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Changing Your Stars

2011-08-18 15:45
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"'And I pray one prayer--I repeat it till my tongue stiffens--Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you--haunt me, then! The murdered DO haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts HAVE wandered on earth. Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad! only DO not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I CANNOT live without my life! I CANNOT live without my soul!'" ~Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights

My destiny isn't a fixed point in space. Its a goddamn explosion with a thousand points of light illuminating a dizzying array of possible paths, each as unique as they can be coming from a single source, and that source is me. Yet I am as varied as an atmospheric firework; uncontainable, forcibly ever-expanding, and swinging between minutely and grossly individual each and every time.

God but I hate self-pity. I remember one time I was sullen (I can count those times on my hand) and my girlfriend at the time asked me why. I confessed I was worried about one day becoming apathetic, as I couldn't convince myself of a way to always stave it off. She sneered. "Anyone who is as concerned as you are about apathy will never be subject to it." I've never forgotten that.

The definition of a self-fulfilling prophecy in psychology is that negative beliefs predict negative behavior (or problems in life). Surprisingly, the psychological explanation of a self-fulfilling prophecy is not that positive beliefs predict positive events.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is different than the Law of Attraction. The original psychological definition of a self-fulfilling prophecy is from Robert Merton: "a false definition of a situation evoking a new behavior which makes the original false conception come true."

In other words, what you believe will come true because you will subconsciously and consciously act in ways that cause the event to happen. Self-fulfilling prophecies are powerful, and real.*

The problem with self-fulfilling prophesies, as seen above is that they do not create positive change. I deftly wrap my arms around all which I am responsible for without missing a beat because I awake every morning filled with joy and wonder.

Usually.

Here lately however, bedlam! I am unaccustomed to waking filled with fear and trepidation, and found it does not bode well for me or mine, for the responsibility I so effortlessly embrace then becomes a burden, and I allow it to destroy me. Stressors which I would normally not even notice I let pick at me - rather than deflect them subconsciously I was absorbing them at an alarming rate.

So I wrote my own future.

I stripped everything away, and stood unabashedly naked - not just without the earthly raiment of this vessel I wear, but without all the magical enchantments of protection in which I clad myself. For the first time in a long time, I stood completely vulnerable.

I changed my stars.

Like CGI armor in a bad movie I'd noticed that I was involuntarily protecting myself when I entered the waking realm - after seemingly endless dreams of running, hiding, relocating, living on the run (or even the one where I went back to Germany, this time to train on the world's first stealth self-propelled artillery - which looked like a cross between a Soviet-era BMP and [G.I. Joe] Wolverine's "tank" (it looks more like a MRL to me) - only it was freaking HUGE because it was also the world's largest ground armored troop transport...) But that wasn't me. Isn't me. And something had to give.

I'm back.

With nothing left to lose, I peeled away layer after layer of disenchantment and doubt and that which remained was holy, and magnificent. Unclean to clean. I was whole again. I cycled my staff to rearm, and girded myself with the armor of the ages - for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the unseen forces of evil in the realms of attitude and mood. To stand firm with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the knowledge of peace. Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helm of brilliance and the sword of self-confidence!

And I shall never leave this place again.

I am now fitted with the knowledge of what has transpired, and it will forever be on my radar, never to get this close to me again.



* http://www.suite101.com/content/selffulfilling-prophecies-a15843
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Worry & Wonder

2011-07-14 21:20
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Does not Dionysius seem to have made it sufficiently clear
That there can be nothing happy for the person who fears?

But were I to sit in his throne craned neck toward the sword
And spun a hundred eighty degrees making the ceiling the floor

The catbird would perch by my side upon my shoulder
And I would be in his seat looking down as beholder

This simple change of perspective rips the entire fable asunder
I now see the world not with fear but with wonder

Discard that which brings only darkness and strife
Turn your back on evil and and always choose life

For if worry and wonder are but a symbiotogram of each other
Which one's the daughter and which is the mother?

I seduced the Whore of Babylon to face and conquer shame
Suggesting wholly holy that you all do the same

You've never really learned if you've never tried and failed
You're simply a braying braggart who's yet to be unveiled

How do you justify having principles or even your own opinions?
Without experiences on which to base them you're just a societal minion

Keep in mind when you're in the catbird seat you're only a swivel away
From sitting under the Sword of Damocles for the truth works both ways

Attitude alone will save your soul from sins of your own creation
So cast off your blinders and power on your indulgent imagination

Worry and wonder though joined at the hip are fascinating juxtaposition
But you control which is on top through the power of empiricism and erudition!



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Lamentations

2011-04-26 16:00
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A man living ashore, well founded, feet beneath him firmly grounded
Boasts of good deeds, of bounty - known in his village, known in his county
Creating plowshares from his sword in regular supplication to the Lord
Doting on his children, doting on his wife, keeping his own council; a serendipitous life


Effacing and content...but for the song on a woman's lips from a single passing ship
Faraway exoticism leads him to board a boat, for this mere dot on his radar, may be his last hope
Going only halfway out to take a closer look, not too far not too near this voyager undertook
Halfway is close enough to home, yet free enough to roam


In his mind a safety clasp - never going all the way, only far enough to grasp
Just close enough to familiarity, but far enough for adventurous gregarity
Kaleidoscope of sounds, colors and scents envelope him as he nears, an unexpected turn of events!
Languishing only now because a pang of guilt emerged, guilt's presence in and of itself fidelity proved interred.


Making up excuses for feeling how he does, questioning suddenly everything that he's ever loved
No room for any missteps, not even a single error, trepidation flushes him, wholly filled with terror
Onward though he trudges, careful to straddle aliquot, hanging from the thread of sanity, hitherto uncut
Perhaps if it had never happened, perhaps if he had never sought, he wouldn't know the feel of fear, the fear of being caught


Questioning first himself and his motivations, then everything he's ever known as an addendum for internal calculations
Radicated to his past and everything he's been, is it possible to embrace another and bypass mortal sin?
Surely mankind acknowledges e'er mold not be filled the same, to bend to the will of mores and saints would definitely be insane
To have more fun, to bring more joy, to create a well-rounded community, then also miscreants and oafs and buffoons should endeavor to be
Unless you want fear in your life and sadness and loss of hope, its imperative you loosen the noose from your neck and release the societal rope


Victor we shall be upon an embrace of free
When we all begin to see that you are different from me
Xenial to a tolerable degree shown to unfamiliar company
Yaw and pitch unsteadily until your sea legs become accustomed to geniality
Zen and mastery of gaiety shall forever be your guaranty!
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Locked In

2011-03-29 13:30
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Chasing the River

Sometimes we find ourselves so far down a path we no longer wish to travel, that changing course seems an impossible endeavor. That if we'd just turned back earlier, or pursued a different course of action sometime back...that the very thing which keeps us on a track we no longer wish to be on is the time already spent on it. Does that seem right to you?

Sure some people fear the "unknown" that change would bring while others fear change itself, but I'm speaking specifically of those who stay because they always have, those who are, for lack of a better term, "comfortable" with the devil they know, even though they're on a path undesired. What is it about the length of time which makes change appear so difficult? The future so permanent?

But we're not locked in. We can, of our own volition, make positive changes which will reap us benefits we can't even comprehend once we find the courage to step out of our comfort zone. How is that done?


Compartmentalization & the Balance between Awareness vs. Worry

I'm not a perfect being - none of us are - though there are those of us who feel we're closer than others. What sets us apart? The ability to be aware of a situation or situations, and not worry about it. Worry is a soul-eating disorder which was created by Satan to give his fallen angels dominion over us. If we destroy ourselves, its less work on him - don't think that running an entire underworld isn't without its logistical challenges to overcome.

But seriously, if you can acknowledge your awareness, then set the issue aside until it requires being dealt with immediately, or placing it on the back-burner of your mind for lower-priority processing, when the time comes to deal with it you'll be plenty prepared. This is different than worry insofar as the energy expended on it is almost nil, and perhaps more importantly, it does not distract you from your primary tasks.

So how do we manage to accomplish this? Well, for those not used to this lifestyle, very, very slowly at first, and not without a little trepidation! But once you see that you can do it, the next one becomes easier, and the one after that and so on and so forth. An entire life-changing event because you were not pleased with what you were doing. Congratulations!


Application

So when you find yourself in the left-hand lane of US Highway 75 (Central Expressway) and you don't know how you got there, or why you're there, but as long as you can remember you've just always been there - and I know you're not comfortable there - I can tell these things; blindly carrying on as if you deserved the privilege or had some right - do the right thing and MOVE THE FUCK OVER. I've given you tremendous responsibility here for your own actions and to prove your own worth on this planet amongst your peers, your friends. I love you like Christ loves you - I don't necessarily want to know you, or ever speak to you, but I love you in that I wish no real harm to come to you. Just...move out of the left-hand lane.

I think you're ready.
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