The Empirical Manifesto

Bid on a Netgear FR-328S Firewall/Router which will do multiple IP one-to-one NAT. Exactly what I was looking for. Thanks unixwolf! I logged into PayPal for the first time in nearly a year and found...money! That's right, I had no idea there was cash in the account. Sweet.

OSX Mail is pissing me off slightly. It would not let me 'add' unixwolf mail (with advanced options) because wdt mail was already in place. I deleted wdt mail, added unixwolf mail, then added wdt mail back because it didn't require any advanced options. Sweet, I thought - two mail servers being tapped by one client. It didn't quite work out that way. unixwolf mail downloaded multiple copies of each message I retain on the server (several years worth) adding something like 15,000 messages to in my inbox overnight. Furthermore, I couldn't 'turn it off' since it was sharing the same incoming folder as my wdt mail now, and neither can be changed without deleting the entire mess and starting from scratch. Perhaps I shouldn't have attempted this so late last night.

Speaking of late last night - I couldn't sleep. At all. For those of you who know me, you know this is rarely an issue. But sure enough, I tossed and turned all night long. I got out of bed early and made it to the office by 0800 amid surprised looks from my staff. "Perhaps, tonight." I tell myself in hopes of making it to bed early.

SomeBritInMass eluded to Bengals as "ferocious fur-covered thugs with razor blades" and he couldn't be more wrong. My kitties are the most fun, loving, cuddly creatures I've seen in a long time. But Niobe, the most....um, complete of the two, has a problem with errant elimination (don't worry drax0r, I won't tell any stories of yours). This has been a problem from the start, but when she urinated on an entire basket of folded, clean, children's clothes - that was the last straw for my wife. As I have been researching feline behavorial problems, I have learned much, and I am sure will be able to enjoy the comfort and company of my little wildcat.

BLAST FROM THE PAST Excerpt from my Feburary 16th post:

The kids were in the other room watching television the other night when they came into the living room to get me. They were very excited about something. The both of them. They each grabbed a hand and tried to extract me from the couch. I relented and followed them into the other room. They sat on the edge of the bed, and patted a space between them. "Sit here, HURRY!" I sat down in front of an infomercial for a mop, and looked at both of them. What did you want me to see? Did I miss it? Both pair of eyes were GLUED to the screen. "No, daddy, this is it - watch!" I watch a man demonstrate the mop on a variety of substances. The children were awe-struck. About two and a half minutes later, they show the mop, and the price. $19.95. "This is the part!" My son announces. My daughter squeals with delight. Not one, but TWO! TWO mops for the price of one! the television announces. Both children looked as though they had seen the real Santa Claus. "TWO DADDY! You can get TWO mops!" They were very excited about the mops. I was speechless.

I always get tired of hearing how men have kept women down. We invented disposable diapers only when we began changing them, we invented the highly uncomfortable bra to highlight the bosom. Men invented pantyhose, and men invented the Epilady. I get tired of these accusations, and though it has taken me 15-years and my entire family fortune, I now have my stock answer: THERE SHOULD BE MORE WOMEN ENGINEERS!

From Yahoo! News (thanks galinda822):

ARLINGTON, Texas - The school district here has expanded its dress codes to include mouths — and earlobes.
Students may no longer wear mouth jewelry known as "grillz" — shiny teeth caps — or the earlobe-stretching practice known as "gauging."
"The district is having to respond to fads because they've become distracters or a safety hazard for those around them," said Malcolm Turner, the district's executive director of student services.
The nearby Irving, Grand Prairie and DeSoto districts also ban grillz, and some also address gauging — the process of placing increasingly large items in the ears to stretch the lobes.
But students said the body modification is simply self-expression.
"Really, a grill is just like an earring. It's fashion," said junior Devonte Wright, 16.
But school officials said they hoped to teach students that life would require them to follow specific regulations in specific settings.
"We want to instill in them a sense of modesty and a sense of community," said school board trustee Gloria Pena. "We're preparing them for the work force, and in the work force there are rules."

My alarm went off. As my head was on the pillow, I saw my alarm clock sideways, and as my glasses were sitting on the end table, I squinted. I couldn't make out the time. Something was blocking the display. I reach my hand out to move the obstruction. There wasn't one. I've only had five hours of sleep. Trying...to...think. I sit up, put on my glasses and stare at the clock. Sure enough, "J:20" Crap alarm clock. Cost me $50 and took me half an hour to pick out a year ago. Poor Tony, suffering next to me while I sweated over the features. Once, we went to Fry's to pick out cases for our computers. He chose his in 14-seconds. I took nearly a full hour.

What do you mean, Doc? All the best stuff is made in Japan.

Stayed up late working on my new avatar last night. It's some of my best work to date, if for no other reason than the lack of good source material, and what I was actually able to accomplish with what I had. The subject was similar in color to the background making for a near impossible extraction, so I had to roll with it. First off I had to rotate the image 45-degrees just to get it visible enough at the size limitations. Then, using the color scheme, rendered some clouds, clone-stamped the other areas by hand, brought out the foreground with a spotlight effect and added a lens flare. Fantastic!

Unbelievable.

Reprising my role as Grill Master this evening, my first act will be to grill salmon for dinner! I can't wait to light that cigar, stroll out on my deck, and fire up that grill. Of course they're now linking grilling to cancer. Carcinogens from dripping fat hitting the flash plates and the char produced from ultra-seared meat. Nice. That's one tip I didn't need to hear about SomeBritInMass!

Marty, you're not thinking fourth dimensionally!

So yesterday, even though the IS department is not responsible for meeting setup, I get a call from one our Directors. It was her meeting, and in it she had her boss. So I go up there. The projector was setup in the middle of a box of tables strung with interconnected hubs and power strips. "What can I help you with?" I ask the Director. "BIGGER!" yells her boss, throwing his hands into the air. "Can we increase the screen size?" she asks me. "BIGGER!" he yells again. I try to NOT give him my tone it down, asshole I am so done with your mouth looks. "BIGGER!" he yells again as I carefully roll the cart containing the projector on it. I reach the limit of the cabling. "BIGGER!" he yells yet again. "I WANT THE PICTURE ACROSS THE ENTIRE SCREEN." He grabs the cart, and pulls it back further, dragging half the powerstrips and hubs to the floor. I know I visibly sighed. There was nothing more I could do but leave. I shit you not, I heard one last time, "BIGGER!"

Yeah, I know, I got a real problem with that.

Later, on http://ehowton.livejournal.com:

(4:25:12 PM) drax0r: I'm writing a post about morning jazz
(4:30:53 PM) EricHowton: I'm going to write about the proposed legislation curbing bandwidth access and speeds from the telecommunications lobbyists because they feel they bear the brunt of the burden providing access which allows entrepreneurial companies to get rich off their lines without them getting a slice of the pie.

AND:

(4:45:03 PM) EricHowton: I don't know which is worse.
(4:45:12 PM) drax0r: ?
(4:45:13 PM) EricHowton: Living with my wife who, every single day reminds me I haven't submitted an expense report for six months, or...
(4:46:18 PM) drax0r: That. That's worse. There's nothing you could say now that would make me think there's something worse than that.
(4:46:54 PM) EricHowton: Submitting a 6-month old expense report to my boss.
(4:47:30 PM) drax0r: Wow.
(4:47:45 PM) drax0r: That's a tough one.

Random Notes:

Wednesday 060322

Snowed on the way to Wichita. My son asks, "What's that white stuff?"

Thursday 060323

Dreamed of BSG Season Three last night. Funny enough, it took place in Boyd?

Bought the Firefly series on DVD. And Serenity. I can't wait. First on the list for Carla, Lori and I when we return! Hooray Carla!

Try to remember how to set up a modem in Win98. Yeah, I know. Replaced my mother-in-law's 15" burned out monitor with my 17" Sun CRT. The IE Browser was too old to support windowsupdate.com, so I had to download IE 6 SP1 (10MB) over a 24k connection. Fun. An hour and a half for that, and two hours to download updates. Wanted to eat a bullet.

Went to my new favorite cigar store in Wichita, and, because I didn't have the kids, I finally perused the liquor store attached to it. I HAVE NEVER BEEN ANYWHERE THAT HAD THE QUALITY AND VARIETY OF BEERS I FOUND HERE. Couple that with the fact that I met the most knowledgeable beer lover I have ever met behind the counter, and well, that was a recipe for success.

The Czechs invented the pilsner. It's the best in the world and I praise them for it. Thier Klaster Premium Winter Lager however is...well, they should stick to the pilsner. Understand, it's 29 bazillion times better than Bud, for example. But not quite the full-bodied sensation Pilzner Urquell is. I bought it because it was on sale for $3.99 a six-pack. Unheard of.

I've had the Franziskaner before, both overseas and here in the states. Mostly their hefe-weizen. I felt comfortable in asking if they carried a krystal weizen (which they haven't carried in nearly two years) but was suggested this 'Club Weisse' as their best second. It isn't, but it's an honorable attempt.



Friday 060324

It was so nice seeing mom and dad again after seven months. I didn't want to let either of them go. The children were very excited, and begged to stay the night with Grammie and PapaDaddy - which was a good thing, because that was exactly the plan!

As we finally left my folks, we thought we'd drive by our old house. It was too dark to really see it by then, so we stopped by to see our old neighbors (neighbor #1)...who don't live there anymore! But our other neighbor's, (neighbor #2) who had moved two years ago, moved back! Into neighbor #1's house! My naming convention is confusing, because everyone is named 'Dave.'

Speaking of Dave's, David & Wendy, Tony, and my wife and I had dinner and drinks at David's Friday night. It was a fantastic reunion with plenty of hugs to go around. Then the drinking ensued. I provided a 6-pack (minus the one I drank!) of the Klaster Premium Winter Lager, David had a 12-pack of Michelob Ultra, and Tony showed up with a 12-pack of Coke because he'd left a bottle of Maker's previously. I was also eying David's brand-spanking new fifth of Crown Reserve ;) David gave Tony and I goodie bags filled with phone-geek accessories, and received from him, a beautiful plaque of Darth Vader and Darth Maul signed by the actors which portrayed them. The three of us spent the evening after the womenfolk went to bed playing Elite Force II, picking up where we left off seven months ago. Wendy gave me stern warnings to have David in bed before 0400. I believe he was in bed at 0358...I know I was! And David, yes we did kill your 12-pack if you consider the single beer I had from it. Dude, you drank the rest yourself!

Saturday 060325

Shopping with the wife all day Saturday - bought some ties, and this hat:


Expect nothing less.

Sunday 060326

Took the wife with me to my meeting Sunday evening for a dinner and a walk-through in preparation for the next day's meeting start. Wife was thrilled the ladies chose a snooty Mediterranean restaurant. They had a Chilean Sea Bass, but I turned it down because the Sea Bass weren't ill-tempered.

Monday 060327

It's 0715 and I'm at a conference table in the hotel with 9 women. I'm the only male. This has been my existence since I started with this new job. I've been the only man at Tupperware parties, but that was to be expected. Last week, all the women in the front office of my son's school were looking past me, as I was the only father which showed up for his parent-teacher conference.

A rather large bat was flying around in circles trapped in the rather cavernous ballroom. You don't see that everyday.

Here's SomeBritInMass just prior to his operation. He taped the note to his gut, under his surgical gown as a surprise for the doctors. It reads, "Docs, Just so we understand, it's my prostrate, not me balls! Ok?" When he awoke, the following message was beside him, "Sorry Mate, but we were laughing so hard we nicked your willy. Doesn't look like it will matter much though! Cheers!"



Sitting dead center over Houston Street in Fort Worth looking over North Side. It's a nice view, the hotel spans two city blocks. This is the largest hotel I've ever been in. I feel like I've walked 14 miles today. Well, I did walk to the Flying Saucer where I got a draught pint of Pilzner Urquell for the Monday-night price of $2.50. Can't beat that! Staying with David & Wendy tonight, as he's 5 minutes away, I'm exhausted, and I have to be back here early in the morning.

Okay, I gotta go again...

Finished my bottle of Oak Creek Merlot ($2.99) yesterday - loved it. I think Merlot is my new favorite, and perhaps I'll find a little better wine than Oak Creek as well for my next one. This was followed by a bottle of Spatlese ($11) which was not chilled, but it was bottled in the Rhinehessen area (my fav) and it was TO DIE FOR. Damn I love Spatlese. Andy drinks Yellow Tail Shiraz-Cabernet ($6.99) a 60/40 mix. Not being familar with Shiraz, I bought a bottle of RedBud ($4.99) to try it. It was horrid. I spat it from my mouth. The Shiraz-Cabernet was quite nice though, but the wife ended up drinking all of that, leaving me with the Oak Creek Chardonnay. *Nasty*

Ok, so it's true SomeBritInMass sends me a cuban cigar, and imported catnip for Daisy. However, to date, only one person has dared to send me an entire box of chips and salsa. Inside the box, was a beautiful Texas A&M embossed card which read, "Eric, I thought you might like a little taste of Texas." Dude, one word, AWESOME. Thanks so much It touches me in ways my Kansan wife never could. Thanks David.

Played an awesome game of 'I Spy' branded Go Fish with the wife and our son last night. It was so much fun, but that might have just been the Spatlese. Today at work was very busy, and Carla left early to clean the house for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow - we're looking forward to the festivities there...and to view our local celebrity status on Tivo.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

SomeBritInMass: Rec'd the "care package" today. Thanks dude. You're too good to me. It brought back memories of when I was last in Bristol, heading back from the fish & chips shop smoking one as I was walking back to my hotel. And of course I was waiting on the packaging to send yours over! That will go out shortly. BTW, the front desk of the hotel doesn't notify you that you have a package with a blinking light on the phone or anything. In fact, they don't notify you at all! I had to ask - glad I did :) As for the little baggie...Should I put that in the freezer did you once say? Thanks again, and speaking of that little baggie....

drax0r: Will get the tranq delivered to the place of your choosing, pay for your gas here and back, as well as keeping you well stocked in the beverage and quantity of beverage of your choice, and fed, fat and happy if you deliver said package personally. You'll want for nothing. For security measures, you can provide me a list of your requirements and I will provide photographic proof of such, for insurance purposes. Please consider my offer, and request.

Sweetheart: DAMN! drp said I'd be busy, but I really had no idea what to expect. All that shit is now happening now, at the same time. I'll cope. In fact, as I get used to this level of.....non-unix type work, I'm hoping it gets easier. I don't see how drp does it. This is small fry compared to his daily load. I love you more than you know.

ProT: Lighten up on yourself already. If it makes it any easier, I know EXACTLY what you're going through, and this too, will pass.

AmyGirl: What? Have you abandoned us lj types? What gives? Again, congratulations. And if I were you, I would now put all this frivolousness behind you, start focusing on what's really important, and trust me, that's not us. I'm thankful for having met you and the few deep discussions which sprang forth. In time, perhaps again. Until then, enjoy!

Angel: WOW! Go a little easy on yourself! Apparently lots of people think you rox0r! Keep your chin up. IMHO, you appear to think that you're the only one that knows anything about what you're going through and no one else ever could because this shit has happened only to you ever in the history of life, but trust me, that's just not true. In fact, it's silly! We're all rootin' for you. Listen, I don't want to get all caught-up in your drama...I don't care about your mild-mannered alter-ego. If you say you're a super, fantastic dynamic wonder-girl...well that's ok with me. I'm good. I'm good....(ok, I stole that last line from The Incredibles!)

"The Neck": Dude. Heh. Listen, you suck at comm and so do I. You send me one email annual which I don't respond to. Ok, we're agreed. Fscking post on this here biotch and we'll see how it goes. Last night was too awesome to let slip away. Tell that deliciously gorgeous wife of yours, "Thanks for sharing." Oh, and the "care package" I rec'd from SomeBritInMass, is the same thing you've been promising me for several years now. I love you anyway.

LOGBOY: You know who you are. Is your new position as demanding as mine? I hope your raise was more than mine. Tell that wife HI and maybe, just maybe, because you can access at this page work, leave your comments here. SIgn in and create a login (I'll make you an icon if you like, just tell me what you want), or post anonymously if you must, but please DO POST YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKER! Because with you and "The Neck" posting, my life truly will be complete (talk to you're her awesomeness, "Her Royal Hotness" to post too. That would rock - just like in our HTML 1.0 days on the geocities messageboard...) dude, just DO IT. My most constant poster recently has not because "I haven't had a lot to say lately." Grrrrrr. Go git her, cowboy! Yeeeehaw!

GRANGER-DUDE: You didn't get me hooked on Robert Earl Keen, drax0r did, but your...dare I say it, passion towards it was what I needed. I miss our beers and little chats, and I just wanted you to know for the first time ever, I actually listened to the lyrics of "...the party never ends." What a sad prose!

ROBIN: We don't talk enough. I've lots of new stuff to tell you. Read through my posts when you get time, then post. I am so strapped on time, but I assure you one thing: I reply to these posts. Please join in the fun. I look forward to hearing from you.

DANZIG: Get your lazy ass outta bed and post occasionally. I mean DAMN dude! C'mon. Get with the program!

Fun in the Sun
Solaris 9's implementation of GNU Apache spreads the binaries, configs, and logs across the directories Solaris uses as defaults for it's binaries, configs and logs (i.e. /etc/apache, /usr/apache, /var/apache). When compiled binaries are placed in these directories, they override the defaults unless something goes wrong. Apparently, during the patching of v100r2 during the 'ginode' problem, Solaris reverted back to it's original file structure without overriding any of the new files. No amount of 'configure runtime linking environment' or ldd was affording me the opportunity to realign the libraries, so a fresh new install of Apache2 has been installed under /opt/csw/bin for integration with the old site.
Seeing this instead of the website you expected?

Do what?
Examine your config.php file and learn the basics of its structure. You will find multiple complete single configurations that each start with ?php and end with ?, with some additional content above, below and between these sections.
Copy each configuration in the combined file into separate single files. Each new file should have ?php as the very first line and ? as the very last line with no extra spaces or blank lines at the top or bottom, and there should be only one of each of these tags. Place each new single config.php in the multisite directory for that site. The case 'domain/path': line just above each configuration in the combined file will help you determine which config.php goes in which multisite directory. Note that this "case" line does not go in the new config.php file. The last configuration in the combined file has default: just above it instead of "case". Rename the combined file to something else and put this last configuration in place as the config.php in this directory.
Now access the primary site and run through the upgrader. Make sure everything is working correctly with this site.
This is why some of my links no longer work in LiveJournal...

There was an old poof from Khartoum
Who brought a lesbian up to his room,
They sat on the bed
Looked at each other and said
"Who does what, with what, to whom?"

--Thanks Phil!

Windows users are retarded:

So there was some domain-swapping going on this weekend, and some boxes apparently cached DNS. This one guy calls me, "The samba share on box1 is missing. The share name is 'samba_share' and it's not there. I logged into the box and couldn't see it."

So I take a peek at the smb.conf file. Yes, the name 'samba_share' is mapped to /filesystem/subdirectory. I explain that we could have named the share, 'ignorant_user' but that didn't mean that the physical directory would actually be visible on the box. He tells me, "Well, honestly, I can't connect to box1 either."

I asked him, "You do understand that's a completely different problem altogether don't you?" He admitted that he did. So I log on to, yes, a windows 'server' (I hate using the term server to describe a windows box.) and can map instantly to said share using IP. I tell the customer this. "Well, you've crippled me, but I suppose I could do that to sneak a few jobs in."

"CRIPPLE YOU?" I exclaim, "I've just freed you! You are no longer bound by name resolution! You can now work more quickly and more efficiently. I've enabled you!"

So he says, "Well, I'll try this....slash slash, box1..."

"NO!" I interrupt - use IP.

"I will, I'm just double-checking that the name won't work."

"That's the reason you called me, is it not?"

*sigh*


My new favorite cat, 'Q':

SomeBritInMass (9:36:45 AM): Q's a nice looking cat. Q from Star Trek?
EricHowton (11:05:14 AM): Q has six toes on each foot
EricHowton (11:05:37 AM): He can turn doorknobs and sip a mug of coffee.
SomeBritInMass (11:09:03 AM): what a cat.
EricHowton (11:12:45 AM): The only thing he can't do is read the morning paper.


The Higgliosaurus Corner:
No HIGGS! news today.


Oregon is Beautiful!
My favorite picture Dan took of Oregon while he was there:

The full size photograph of this can be found on his server here:
Dan's Trip to Oregon, Picture 0134

Tony:
Not that I'm conceding our earlier disagreement concerning your interpretation of the reason for using SWAT, but I did relent and just work over the sonofabitch by hand in the smb.conf. It's just easier that way sometimes.

I'm homeless. What a drag. Now I just...walk the earth, like Kane in Kung-Fu. I spend my nights in the following shelters:
1.) ADC
2.) Tony's
3.) David's
4.) My folks
5.) Wichita, Kansas
Now that's just pathetic!

A&E
Watched a John Water's film last night, "Cecil B. Demented." Pretty good if you're into that sort of thing.

"A bride without a head!"
"A wolf without a foot!"

Sung to the tune of "Dancing Queen" by ABBA:
Danzigfried, young and sweet, only 23.....

The music of the day comes supplied by: My mother's car! Since mine is in the shop.