The Empirical Manifesto

You are walking down a country road. It is a quiet afternoon. You look up and far, far down the road you see someone walking toward you. You are surprised to have noticed someone so far away. But you keep walking, expecting nothing more than a friendly nod as you pass. He gets closer. You see he has bright orange hair. He is closer- a white sating suit spotted with colored dots. Closer-a painted white face and red lips. You and he are fifty yards apart. You, and a full-fledged clown holding a bicycle horn are twenty yards apart. You approach on the lonely country road. You nod. He honks and passes.
-- Steve Martin, "Cruel Shoes"

---

The core switch in our facility which is the fiber-backbone of our entire network blew out this morning bringing everyone down. This is not a small thing. Fortunately, the day before, we had identified a burning smell coming from the switch and it was hot to the touch, so we contacted the remote network guys and asked them to overnight us a new one. It arrived this morning, 30 minutes after the switch blew, fully configured. Swap GBICs, power on the unit, total downtime: 40 minutes. A severe outage that actually made us look good, like we know what we're doing. I love it when a plan comes together.

---

My back stopped hurting yesterday about 1500. Well, it evaporated to the point it was no longer my main focus. As I was mostly inanimate that day, my newfound evening-time energy level was over-the-top; a rare occurrence indeed. My wife was shell-shocked and hiding in the basement when I got home. Apparently, she stopped drinking coffee and had only decaffeinated tea during the day. She was completely listless. No worries, Super-Dad was home! I did a little of this, a little of that, danced a dance, then smoked some salmon on the grill. It was so good that both the children ate all of theirs, and asked for seconds. WOW! Later that evening, after I'd read to the children and tucked them into bed, the wife and I stayed up and played HGTV's Mission: Organization in the basement and tried to maximize our living area by shifting our paradigm of expectations and events. Even straight lines became blurred as we laid out the battlefield! At 0045 it was time to throw in the towel with much progress having been made.

---

From a meme on swashbuckler332's site:

Made out with someone on your friends list?
No... but I certainly wouldn't mind with some of them... (stop looking so hopeful, ehowton, I'm not talking about you).

Alas, shot down again...

---

How cool is this: My wife asks me about digitizing all our music, and making it available wirelessly throughout the house. Wow! What a dream come true! I start with the plasma HDTV required for the new mac mini using iLife '06 and it's built-in wireless, sharing out the second 160GB drive she suggested I purchase to hold our (approximately) remaining 10,000 songs. I explained that most of the infrastructure was already in place to do this, we'd just require the second mini and the television as the big-ticket items. Her goal, in part - was to get rid of the physical media, my 2500 CD's. I explain corporate backup strategy and relate it to the CD's being our 'backup' in case of catastrophic failure, conceding that I would gladly pack them up and store them away for archival purposes. I also explained the time involved in bringing such a project to fruition. She wasn't disenchanted with any part of my oration, which is always a good sign. She also wanted to move toward a better surround-system, which I managed to talk up a more expensive version of what we currently have, without breaking the $500 range. Ta-friggin-da!

---

I'm sorry. My responses are limited. You must ask the right questions.

You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Every once in a while - not often mind you - I simply cannot handle the fact that every single user in this building sincerely believes that IT should be responsible for the contents and information which might be relevant to the success and well being of their corporate health and personal job security BECAUSE IT IS CONTAINED ON EITHER A MICROSOFT WORD DOCUMENT, AN EXCEL DOCUMENT OR TRANSMITTED VIA EMAIL!

Don't... don't care?

As a 36-year-old IT Manager, I guess the Dell Catalog isn't really geared toward me. I ran across a two-page ad on their new XPS desktops and laptops which read, (lower case 'g') "get right up in their grill." After asking around, I discovered that today's youth who primarily associate themselves with the "hip-hop" lifestyle, now wear jewelry on their teeth. In my limited understanding of these things, they apparently transform your mouth into something which represents the front grill of a car. So in fact, if you were to purchase this XPS, and game on it, you could in fact "get up in your [opponents] teeth." (possibly face but I'm unclear on the distinction.) Fantastic!

...time passes.

One of my Desktop guys places the song 'Grillz' by some rapper named 'Nelly' on my computer and auto-launches it for me. Nice.

It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.

Two nights ago (I don't know why I never managed to write what I actually dreamed the night before) I dreamed that my father and I were cleaning the house, or a shed or something, and we found a like-new, perfectly functioning record player which was simply dusty. We cleaned it up and it sparkled! We hooked it up to the computer and ripped his LP of Boys from Brazil. What a nice dream! I think I'm obsessing about that soundtrack. I even did a title search on DirecTV to see if it was in the wings (of course it wasn't). Bah!

Eight?

It's been a busy, stressful week at work. I arrive home exhausted every evening, and here lately not at all on time. Wednesday night I grilled (get right up in their grill) chicken and my wife prepared a bed of salad to place it on. It was fantastic. We drank a bottle of spatlese with dinner, then sat on the back deck and smoked cigars while the kids played inside. Last night, it was the same chicken on a bed of mixed carrot and spinach couscous with straw mushrooms - again, fantastic. Then cigars & brandy on the deck while watching the children swim. That really does help take the stress out of my day.

Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

The real-live Bob's we're currently dealing with have created a website which allows us to put in our time in 15 minute intervals. As dumb as that sounds by itself, the web page they've created times out every 15 minutes and requires another login. How ignorant is that? So - the guy who mocks me openly with "what do you use that linux box for anyway, huh?" (which I had to give up to put on a users desktop a few weeks ago) asks me, "What can we do about this?" To which I reply, "If I had my linux box..." so I'm thinking of trying one of drax0r's wget scripts, possibly trying to encapsulate username and password in a secure socket layer to play keep alive. I don't know if it will work, but I'll give it a shot. Assholes.

---

Robert William Kramer
1944 - 2006
Robert William Kramer, 60, passed away Saturday, July 1, 2006, in Arlington.

Funeral: 1 p.m. Saturday, July 8, in Arlington Funeral Home Chapel.

Memorials: Texas Girls Choir, 4449 Camp Bowie Blvd., Fort Worth, Texas 76109.

Robert was the son of E.W. and Dorothy Kramer of O'Neill, Neb. A 1962 graduate of O'Neill High School, he attended the University of Nebraska in Lincoln in 1971.

Robert served in the National Guard 1962-1966. He retired in November 2005 from National Cartography and GEO Spacial Center, Fort Worth.

He was a loving father and grandpa. He will be fondly remembered.

Survivors: Son, Cathan and wife, Gale, of Burleson; daughters, Lauriann and husband, Dusty, of Arlington and Caitlin of Fort Worth; Granddaughter, Robyn; brothers, Tom of Los Angeles, Calif., and Todd and Bruce of Lincoln, Neb.; and sisters, Beth of Minneapolis, Minn., and Rene of O'Neill, Neb.



One of my first jobs at my last client was to put Big Brother monitoring on all the servers there. I was given my own box to build-out as I desired and to just 'make it happen.' That's what I do, so no big deal. There were four boxes I did not have root access to, so I emailed the owner of the box asking for privileges so I could accomplish my task. The next day, I get this nasty email back from this surly bastard, "Don't you touch my boxes. Don't you ever touch my boxes!" Hmmmm. Taken back a bit, I ask around. "Oooooh, that's Bob. Don't mess with Bob." It seems he'd been in government service so long, and was so surly, that every one was afraid of him.

Not one to back down from a challenge, I peer over at his desk - messy to be sure - and get the lay of the land...lots of empty coffee cups. I bring in some cream & sugar the next day just in case. I make a strong pot of coffee at my desk and have a cup. When that's finished, I pick up my pot and announce, "I have a pot of fresh Starbucks I can't finish, would any one like a top off? You sir?" As I peer into his cube. He accepts and I introduce myself. When he tells me his name, I mention, "Oh of course, you sent me that email..."

We became (not 'tight' exactly) but he came to respect my opinion and I often consulted with him. He sure was a surly bastard - to those who were afraid of him, but never to us, the unix guys on his team.

Take care Bob.

If I give my daughter too many kisses, too quickly, she covers her face and says, "Enough kisses for a day!"

Today is a fantastic day for multifaceted reasons. First, galinda822 is not only in a most unusually playful mood the likes of which I have not experienced before, but it marks the diametrical opposite of her mood yesterday. And as there are only three of us in the office today, yesterday that would have been two few, today it feels just right. I was up late last night blending and creating the graphic for last nights post - yet still managed to get a full eight-hours of sleep. Tonight its a case of Corona and movie night.

We had an excellent discussion on the possible nomenclature of drax0r's possible new toy...

Masta Rasta Rakka Chakka Stakka

Then debated why Henry Wadsworth Longfellow would fabricate the story of Paul Revere eclipsing the real-life story of Israel Bissel. I won with the following Yiddish adaptation of "Paul Revere's Ride"

Harken me kinder and gimme a listel
Of the miten-tog gezuntel of Israel Bissel,
On the yom of 18, in yortseit of past;
A yungermantshik mount ferd fast!
Nisht do gedacht from da var...

Tonight, I'm firing up the grill, lighting a cigar, wrapping my meat-hooks around an ice cold bottle of Corona, and grilling salmon. I wish you were here.

I'm really enjoying the last track of the new BSG soundtrack, Black Market which is very Marrakesh in tone. It stays with me.

Started whistling tunes from Paint Your Wagon much to the consternation of my staff. Sucks to be them.

So sitting on my Daily Service Review this morning, where the only thing I am required to utter are the words, "Zero Green" severely limits my expression, I instead chose to play this. In the cacophony which followed I was asked to play it again for its humor value, heard something which suggested that it was the epitome of laziness, and applauded for creativity. Lots of different perspectives for two simple words.

celtmanx I do not have your Conan DVD. I've never seen it, and don't have any plans to.

Talked with Tony on the phone today a little bit - that's always fun, and my mother twice, which is almost unprecedented.

At the St. Louis zoo this weekend, it was packed. And with people of varying ages and socio-economic backgrounds. Of all the thousands of people there, I was among the few under 40 who didn't have a tattoo. When asked why I don't have a tattoo, I usually explain that that I wanted a way to express my individuality and make me unique. I get odd looks sometimes, because that's why most people do get tattoos. The funny thing is, by doing so, they become the majority, and just like everyone else. Funny how that works.

Picked up Alien Resurrection today.

Grilled perfect salmon for dinner, and had a marvelous Kansan Spatelese with it. I hate questions such as, "If you were stranded on a desert island and could only have one [fill in the blank] for the rest of your life, what would it be?" I hate these because I am such a diverse person, and I know whatever I chose I would eventually become disenchanted with over time. Unlike most people however, I have had enough variety in some things, that I know exactly what I would choose in some catagories.

Havana Monticristo Cigar
Plizner Urquell
a Rhienhessen Spatlese

Picked up two cars from the Cartoon Network's Hot Wheels Acceleracers series, both from Team 'Metal Maniacs' the Hollowback and Rivited:



SWEET! Confirmation at 2228 hours that my Bear McCreary autographed soundtrack is ON IT'S WAY!!! Critics have called his last one (Season One) a score, and this one, an album. Apparently its much richer in depth than his last one. My review of the preview tracks can be found here. I await with eager anticipation.

Thank you again for your order from La-la Land Records


The following items have been shipped to:

ehowton
St. Louis MO 63114 US United States


Name Code Qty Each Options
-----------------------------------------------------------
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA LLLCD1049 1 15.98
SEASON 2
(Shipped)
Subtotal 15.98
Shipping 4.00
Tax 0.00
Total 19.98

This completes your order. Thank you for shopping with us.

The last four days have been tough. I'm hitting the sack early again tonight.

Ended up watching Aeon Flux. It was pretty good. I hope Ultraviolet is better. Thought I heard Eric Serra in the score, turns out it was Graeme Revell. Not to shabby. To date, the only Graeme Revell I don't despise is The Saint. I LOVE that one.

Steaks were perfect, spuds were perfect (started them about half an hour before I threw the steaks on) and stir-grilled some snap peas that came out crunchy, but flavorful. Tecate, Carta Blanca, Dos Equis, and Dos Equis Amber throughout. What a wonderful end to the week!

So it looks like a .5 terabyte RAID vault is not quite in the cards. I have something like 3.5GB left on my internal mac drive (st0rage). I do have another anemic 30GB laptop drive which,if coupled with a USB 2.0 enclosure would increase st0rage at least until the vault thing comes to fruition. Yes, the entire internal drive of the mini is iTunes, currently sitting at 34GB.

...sleep...

Picked up the following soundtracks:

Stargate
Over the Hedge
Deep Impact
The Island

Back up your computer, upgrade storage capacity or easily transfer files with this stylish, compact and user-friendly drive. Expand your digital life by storing more photos, videos, music, and files with the LaCie mini drive - the ideal companion hard drive for Mac mini. Its unique 4-corner crown fits seamlessly into the underside of the Mac mini to create a stable, symbiotic harmony. The LaCie mini drive was brilliantly engineered to allow for a natural cooling airflow to move between these two drives for greater heat dissipation. It offers convenient plug & play and ultra-quiet operation. Stack several LaCie mini drives under the Mac mini for additional capacity or use it with any other computer with a FireWire connection.

I gotta admit, I could give a rat's ass about buffer size, arial density, or platter rotation speed. As long my new drive contains symbiotic harmony, I'm good. I'm good.

Watched Batman Begins this afternoon, and I must admit, I really enjoyed it. I found it interesting and engaging. It was well cast, and they did a good job. I also enjoyed the score immensely as an accompaniment to the movie, much more so than standalone. Then later, when my inlaws called as they had arrived in town early - I loaded up the kids and slid behind the wheel of my wife's black Saturn wagon, which felt then and there, like the batmobile! I drove as such. What fun! The sound of the engine in movie was great. And I really enjoyed the pod-racing sound of the engine braking in the turns. Every stunt in that car was real, no CGI for this Batmobile!



Well, I'm yawning, Tony's listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn, David's drinking beer, Carla's already asleep, and Tom is back on crack.

My alarm went off. As my head was on the pillow, I saw my alarm clock sideways, and as my glasses were sitting on the end table, I squinted. I couldn't make out the time. Something was blocking the display. I reach my hand out to move the obstruction. There wasn't one. I've only had five hours of sleep. Trying...to...think. I sit up, put on my glasses and stare at the clock. Sure enough, "J:20" Crap alarm clock. Cost me $50 and took me half an hour to pick out a year ago. Poor Tony, suffering next to me while I sweated over the features. Once, we went to Fry's to pick out cases for our computers. He chose his in 14-seconds. I took nearly a full hour.

What do you mean, Doc? All the best stuff is made in Japan.

Stayed up late working on my new avatar last night. It's some of my best work to date, if for no other reason than the lack of good source material, and what I was actually able to accomplish with what I had. The subject was similar in color to the background making for a near impossible extraction, so I had to roll with it. First off I had to rotate the image 45-degrees just to get it visible enough at the size limitations. Then, using the color scheme, rendered some clouds, clone-stamped the other areas by hand, brought out the foreground with a spotlight effect and added a lens flare. Fantastic!

Unbelievable.

Reprising my role as Grill Master this evening, my first act will be to grill salmon for dinner! I can't wait to light that cigar, stroll out on my deck, and fire up that grill. Of course they're now linking grilling to cancer. Carcinogens from dripping fat hitting the flash plates and the char produced from ultra-seared meat. Nice. That's one tip I didn't need to hear about SomeBritInMass!

Marty, you're not thinking fourth dimensionally!

So yesterday, even though the IS department is not responsible for meeting setup, I get a call from one our Directors. It was her meeting, and in it she had her boss. So I go up there. The projector was setup in the middle of a box of tables strung with interconnected hubs and power strips. "What can I help you with?" I ask the Director. "BIGGER!" yells her boss, throwing his hands into the air. "Can we increase the screen size?" she asks me. "BIGGER!" he yells again. I try to NOT give him my tone it down, asshole I am so done with your mouth looks. "BIGGER!" he yells again as I carefully roll the cart containing the projector on it. I reach the limit of the cabling. "BIGGER!" he yells yet again. "I WANT THE PICTURE ACROSS THE ENTIRE SCREEN." He grabs the cart, and pulls it back further, dragging half the powerstrips and hubs to the floor. I know I visibly sighed. There was nothing more I could do but leave. I shit you not, I heard one last time, "BIGGER!"

Yeah, I know, I got a real problem with that.

Later, on http://ehowton.livejournal.com:

(4:25:12 PM) drax0r: I'm writing a post about morning jazz
(4:30:53 PM) EricHowton: I'm going to write about the proposed legislation curbing bandwidth access and speeds from the telecommunications lobbyists because they feel they bear the brunt of the burden providing access which allows entrepreneurial companies to get rich off their lines without them getting a slice of the pie.

AND:

(4:45:03 PM) EricHowton: I don't know which is worse.
(4:45:12 PM) drax0r: ?
(4:45:13 PM) EricHowton: Living with my wife who, every single day reminds me I haven't submitted an expense report for six months, or...
(4:46:18 PM) drax0r: That. That's worse. There's nothing you could say now that would make me think there's something worse than that.
(4:46:54 PM) EricHowton: Submitting a 6-month old expense report to my boss.
(4:47:30 PM) drax0r: Wow.
(4:47:45 PM) drax0r: That's a tough one.

Installed a surround sound system in my house...for $57. That was the price of the Logitech X-530 5.1 system at Sam's. Everywhere else they're $75. It came with it's own stereo mini-male to RCA converter, so I took back the $10 worth of parts I picked up at Radio Shack in anticipation of this project. The wife was moaning the entire time, "Why do we have to do this?" And, "I like how it sounds just coming out of the TV." Then I put on The Soprano's and her face lit up and she began nodding at the theme songs pounding out the subwoofer. She likes the new system. Saved some bucks too, doing it this way.

In updating my iTunes database to include the newest Power Rangers: Mystic Force, I ran across the submission by the original composer, Aaron Waters. I played it for my six-year-old, who much prefers it over the rap-song (yo!) the producers chose. Funny, I wonder if they asked any six-year-old's before making their decision. I doubt it.

Replaced my grill. Same make and model as the one I left in Texas. Assembled my second grill in as many years. Tiring. I hate buying things twice. I'll send Dad a Father's Day card letting him know he can keep my old one. He's going to LOVE that.

Unpacked the Krups, cleaned it, and immediately made a demi-tasse of expresso. It's been oh, so long. It was fantastic!

Completed Season One of The Sopranos. Not bad. I've never seen Scarface. I loved Godfather III. Been listening to the soundtrack a lot. The Sinatra and the Main Title mostly. Good stuff.

Currently downloading DVD cover art for my blank cases, as the wife found a Magnavox console DVD recorder for under $100 and I have just under two dozen movies on Tivo awaiting a home. Got a 50-pack of the slim cases at Sam's for something like, 12 bucks, so am having to photoshop the spine to get the title to fit. So far so good. Tony's had issues with his Magnavox, so I'm going to burn off these movies pretty quick hoping if it goes tango-uniform it does so during the first 30-days of use. Other than that, this will make a nice little addition to my collection.



Was sitting here listening to the V for Vendetta score. Pretty good stuff. I've decided I'll wait for it to come out on PPV, Tivo it, then burn it to DVD. Better than the theater!