Ruby Finds Her Tusks

[ehowton]

Ruby was the only walrus pup on the ice shelf who didn't have her tusks.

Poor, poor, Ruby!

"But I want to have pretty tusks." Ruby told her mama. "All the other walrus pups have theirs." And Ruby's mama always said the same thing to her, in a song:

"One ^day you'll _be blubbery ^and fat, _with long ^strong tusks _for grousing ^at this _and that."

But poor Ruby thought her mama was a moron.

And so it was that Ruby went philandering around the ice shelf trying to fill the void in her walrus heart.

The end.

Comments

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

Where can I get my own signed copy?

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I'll be signing them hell...for eternity.

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

Isn't that right next to Anna, TX?

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

No, that's Climax, Texas!!!

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

cute.

[melancthe.livejournal.com]

You're an evil person.

I LOVE IT.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I'm going to hell, I just know it.

[melancthe.livejournal.com]

I have no doubt you'd enliven the potentially-dreary hell.

Pray tell, sir, does this tale have a sequel?

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

The unknown future rolls toward us. I face it, for the first time, with a sense of hope. Because if a walrus can learn the value of human life, maybe we can too.

[glodowg.livejournal.com]

Oh Ruby, don't take your love to [the ice shelf]!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Walrus Was In).

[catttitude.livejournal.com]

The Walrus.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

"Ruby Finds her Tusks"

[photogoot.livejournal.com]

Thats just funny, thats what that is!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Thanks dude. I'm just dying over here. I must've read this two dozen times at work today. I even pointed it out to my mother.

[photogoot.livejournal.com]

It is a 5 star classic!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Really? That good? I haven't labeled it as such. But thanks for the compliment.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

If you think about it, aren't each of us trying to fill the void in our walrus heart?

[photogoot.livejournal.com]

The only one I know who has been trying to fill the Walrus's void, so to speak, is schpydurx.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Tastes like...*smack smack*...walrus.

[melancthe.livejournal.com]

If I agree with this comment, do you think he'll go apeshit and start frothing again? Hmm, let's try:

I agree!

[irulan-amy.livejournal.com]

I nearly fell off my chair laughing. Well done. :D

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Why thank you! I was pretty amused myself.

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

I think you might have entered the Muse with this one.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Or at least the walrus...