Cass - Day 10

Slept 9-hours straight before getting dressed and helping Cass with the AirBNB. Took a shower when I got home as it was nearing time for Production Maintenance, which, due to Mountain Time, means it will end an hour earlier for me than normal.

In answer to my query yesterday of "...if you remain emotionally unavailable for the duration of my stay, what will there be to process?" She replied, "Why would you think that? I'll be processing your loss in my life here - whether I'm emotionally available or not, it will be felt, and require processing."

THAT SAID, I've been taking a backseat the last 10-days awaiting Cass' comfort level before I began courting her in earnest, and she's apparently been waiting for me to court her the past 10-days. We did discuss how for two communicators, we probably could've done better with that one. She attributes it to each of us following tangental thoughts to their logical conclusions missing completely the central crux of the conversation. I couldn't disagree. I've been observing, she's been waiting for me to start. When she asked me WHY I've been so reticent the last 10-days I admitted it was fear and fear alone.

Now that I have the green-light to proceed, I'll instead be leaving earlier than I had hoped. The duration of my visit has caused some issues with the youngest. Not to fear, we were anticipating this. It was, after all, a data gathering mission. I will be sad to go, but have several activities to keep me occupied/distracted while I'm away - a foundation photoshoot and a Halloween Ball to attend. Though now that I say that, I have no idea if Dorian is going to the Ball as well. That'll be...interesting. Especially given she knows exactly where I am (and probably what I'm doing here) since I posted the Homecoming photos on Facebook.

Not looking forward to the drive home, but absolutely looking forward to the drive back, whenever that may be. We've talked about a series of shorter visits more frequently to see if that helps with the youngest. One step at a time, and we'll figure it all out. Now that I have the green light, nothing in the 'verse can stop me.