The Empirical Manifesto

I'm a sedentary man. I don't play sports, I don't run for fun; my hobbies require no physical exertion. I sit in my car I sit at work and I sit at home. I do a lot of sitting. And my time off this past holiday season was a wonderful, much needed rest. I got to shift my mind into neutral and I did more than sit. I lounged. I was aggressively idle. I was indolent for an entire week - not even bothering to dress at times. This Utopian bliss was interrupted by a short, three-day work week which required that I wear pants. I dislike wearing pants. I barely survived those three days, and spent the following weekend gearing up for what I knew was going to be the first day of the rest of my life. That is to say, my first full week of the new year, and a dead-ringer for the following 12-months. What I wasn't expecting was what came with it - a renewed spirit.

I decided to eat raw this week because of it - party as penance for my opulent lifestyle. Cleanse my body as well as my mind from my slothfulness of weeks passed. I've been running between 80-90% raw this week. I haven't been freaking out over the bits of chicken, hard-boiled egg or dressing on my Cobb salads, nor have I given up coffee in the mornings. Outside of that, I'm all raw. Its delicious. I've always enjoyed primarily non-processed foods, but sometimes just a little bit can drop you down a spiraling path of overindulgence in fast food. Its easy because its cheap.

At work we have a cafeteria. I can get a bacon double cheeseburger with two pounds of sliced tomato, lettuce, pickles and onion on it, and fries for $3.99. The modest salad I put together weighed in at over six dollars. Tomorrow, I'm going to get a burger. Hold the meat, hold the bun, hold the bacon, hold the cheese.

I've also had an unusual attraction to mild exercise this week. Unusual because it is neither in my nature, nor my disposition. I've been walking morning, noon, and night. Coupled with the raw diet this week, I may actually be pulling my body out of some of its self-destructive tendencies this past month. I'll likely add whole grains to my diet next week, and maybe start drinking wine again.



And now to apologize for my previous post.

I'm the funniest guy I know. So when I found a picture of an X-Wing Fighter on the deck of a World War II aircraft carrier, I thought long and hard as to how best present it to you, my faithful readers. After about a week, I decided to research the USS Long Island and roll the picture into other pictures of that era, as a gag. Luckily for me I found *actual* pictures of the carrier and then started researching both the ship and its class, and the role they played in WWII, to present it documentary-style.

My sin, was taking the following things for granted, by assuming every person on this planet knew:

• The X-Wing Fighter is not a real military aircraft.


• Even if it were, it would not have been in the skies over WWII battlefields.


• There is a movie named, Star Wars.

I thought it was funny.