Scenario

[ehowton]

You're all alone on a Texas highway, driving fifteen miles an hour under the posted speed limit. Visibility is several miles all around you and there's not another vehicle in sight. The windows are down - its a nice day. Suddenly, I approach as if from nowhere behind you. Because you're doing 50 in a 65, I indicate, move into the empty oncoming traffic lane, downshift, accelerate, and pass you.

You get very angry.

Why?

[Poll #1448303]

Comments

[melancthe.livejournal.com]

You need more exciting options. Like "You're secretly a zombie and your eyesight isn't so good after your death".

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't mind dodging zombies if they were the type of zombies which drove with reckless abandon. But why do I have to drive behind Southern Florida Retirement Home Barbie Zombie?

[melancthe.livejournal.com]

Southern Florida Retirement Home Barbie Zombie

There's a movie in there somewhere. Not a porn movie, though. I hope.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

No, that would be Southern Florida Retirement Home Cougar Barbie. Although...what if Cougar Barbie were *also* a zombie?

"When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles..."

We call this Southern Florida Retirement Home Cougar Barbie Zombie.

*Mattel Home Entertainment presents, for the first time on DVD, Barbie and the 12 Singing Princesses Directed by Wes Craven.*

[melancthe.livejournal.com]

Barbie and the 12 Singing Princesses Directed by Wes Craven

I'm, like, TOTALLY buying the chainsaw accessories! I wonder if they come in pink?

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

I don't drive in Texas.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

scenario: An imagined or projected sequence of events, esp. any of several detailed plans or possibilities.

You're showing a distinct lack of forming mental images or concepts of what is not actually present.

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

You had too many choices, hence, tl;dr.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

This new information is in direct contradiction of your first statement. Either you're an unimaginative prick who can't absorb figurative scenarios, or you were overwhelmed by the 15 choices, one of which, embarrassingly enough, was "other."

[wardlejew.livejournal.com]

hmmm. I'm angry because I don't know the speed limit is 65 instead of 45. If I'm driving 50, I think the speed limit is 45.

or

My default reaction is to be angry at everything because my car only goes 50, and that is ruining my life, which make me feel slighted because I can't buy a better car in this economy, and if I can't drive faster I better not be passed by somebody who doesn't give a hoot about the chi I've found because I have to drive so slow...

or

I would get angry trying to figure out why I should be angry, because I have no reason to be angry.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I would get angry trying to figure out why I should be angry, because I have no reason to be angry.

Yes, this is the one. The perpetual reactionaries.

[sacredyuja.livejournal.com]

You Sir, disturbed my Chi!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Its both a gift, and a curse. I feel that true chi can only be obtained at 90 mph which is why I so often seek it.

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

How many lanes are on this Texas highway?

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

It doesn't really matter.

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

Well it does because if they are going under the speed limit or slower than the main body of traffic in a double lane highway they will get a ticket for hazardous and discourteous driving in the left hand lane.

[swashbuckler332.livejournal.com]

No comment.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Sometimes so little can say so much.

[swashbuckler332.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

[anakngtinapa.livejournal.com]

Hm. This actually left me a bit confused. Because I don't know how to drive, I've never tried driving and I don't have and need a car. Which you may find strange, [the thing about not having a car] but cars aren't as important here than in your country, I guess.

Imagining the scenario despite my lack of knowledge about cars and American highways, I still checked one of those little boxes and submitted my answer. Which would just mean I really didn't need to comment but I still did. Ha. So yea.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Until I can work from home full time, and given the United States penchant for poor public transportation - and my love for fast cars - I will continue to drive.

When I lived in Germany I lived as you do - no need whatsoever for them.

[thesweetestnote.livejournal.com]

Because I was wearing some awesomely delicious lingerie and in the middle of an intense "self-loving" event you zoomed by and scared the beejezus out of me!!! SHHHESH!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Well there's an acceptable answer if I've ever heard one.

[thesweetestnote.livejournal.com]

I'm an odd person with an... er.. umm.. interesting life. ;)

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

We've all done it - just some of us are at a more heightened state of alert for that very reason.

Quick Joke

[thesweetestnote.livejournal.com]

What's the most sensitive part of the body during masturbation??

- The ears...

Because they're listening for footsteps!

*INSERT DRUM AND SYMBOL SPLASH*

[thesweetestnote.livejournal.com]

and wait... am I doing 15 or 50mph???

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

It doesn't really matter. Suffice it to say you're not driving the posted speed limit.