Cass - Day 3

One of the things we talked about late into the night is what drives her fear of committing to, well, anything. At its heart, as far as we've been able to determine, fear of being hurt. More specifically, going through the hurt she would inflict upon herself. Yet we both know the *only* way to get past fear is to face it. It is one of the few things we cannot simply logic our way past. Perhaps she’s convinced herself she can logic out the eventual decision on whether or not she should face the fear without actually committing to do so?

I can't fix that.

So once again, time. Time to just exist here with her in her world. There's honestly no where else I'd rather be right now, so it's a sustainable course of action currently. I am curious if that will change at some point. As is likely, she.

Today is homecoming, the ultimate reason for my timeline in traveling (though I've been trying to get here since July). Tomorrow may be the botanical gardens. Cass is off today but works AirBNB tomorrow for a couple of hours. If she can get her youngest to assist, they may be done even more quickly. Unsure if she's let me help as well, or if I would simply slow her down. We sat and watched General Conference this morning while I was making chocolate-chip pancakes for everyone. It was highly reminiscent of our own (at the time) Worldwide Church of God televised special sermons.

--- time passes ---

Homecoming photos were a blast. As soon as we arrived at our destination, Cyra's shoe exploded into chunks on the pavement, so we made a mad dash to a shoe store where we found a quick replacement pair of heels. When they left for homecoming, I took Cassie out for dinner and we ended up at a Vietnamese place which was both quiet and delicious.

We arrived home after dark and spent the intervening hours first reviewing the raw photographs, then talking on the back porch until after midnight.

The One

Cass - Day 4

Awoke under my own power at 0930. Missed General Conference today instead starting with a Cass visit on the back porch which culminated in cleaning the AirBNB, followed by a visit to her mom and dad's, then out to the Noe's new place for her to learn how to use the riding mower and to receive a blessing. We didn't get home until after dark.

Learned the hard way how to answer, "How do you know Cassie?"
Apparently Cassie tells them, "I've known Eric for years, my kids grew up with him around."

I answered, "My ex-wife's best friend," which led to the follow-up question, "Oh, are they still friends?"

I'm so bad at this.

I worked on homecoming photos while everyone else started dinner (leftovers) and we finished the night watching the next episode of Why Women Kill. Thinking of going to bed a couple of hours early to steel ourselves for the work week ahead.