WARSHIPS ROADTRIP II: OMAHA (USS HAZARD/USS MARLIN)

Ache

It's been a week and I can feel the tension bubbling just under the surface now that the initial flood of chemicals has (mostly) subsided. The ecstasy (for lack of a better word) having been supplanted with a raw ache of sorts. I still can't stop my heart from jumping when I notice a text from her which has been the longest lasting effect thus far.

I ensconced myself in the library all weekend reading and listening to Hadyn. My wife developed a cold so spent the entire weekend with me, bundled up in the library where we had some of the most enlightening conversations when she was awake. It would appear her love is equally as mature as my own listening to her discuss a myriad of possible scenarios. She reminded me I had once told her I would not hold her back were she to ever outgrow me then intimated the same. Its not something either of us desire or expect, but there is a comfort in loving someone so much for who they are rather than solely what they can do for you that you'd be willing to place their happiness on equal footing with your own.

But I digress.

This ache I am having seems to be tied to her physical presence. When we see each other again in just a few short weeks I have no idea what will transpire. Will it restart the chemical spill and bring me back to square one? Will I again make a fool of myself in front of her? Will I decide this entire fantasy has finally come to its logical conclusion? While I sincerely doubt the latter (I do know myself pretty well after all), I am fascinated to be present when all of this transpires. I just hope I don't embarrass myself too much.