Savior Complex

Once again it has been brought to my attention that I may be acting under the guise of Savior Complex/Damsel in Distress/White Knight Syndrome. This time, in order to definitively put that question to rest, I pulled up half a dozen online checklists to introspectively compare my actions against. First, the good news! I am so far removed from most of the items on those checklists, there is no question in my mind those who so suffer from Savior Complex actually suffer - it seems to be akin to codependency - affecting, among other things, one's general well-being and life trajectory. That's not me by any stretch of the imagination and honestly way too much work involved for it to even interest me; seriously, I know some micromanagers who would flush at the amount of work involved. Level of effort my dude. Level of effort.

The sole item which gave me pause however, was to listen without coming up with solutions. As a standalone item separate from the checklist it means nothing - but the idea is just so foreign to me! My entire life revolves around finding solutions; in my work, my day-to-day life, and even fancifully dreaming up solutions to philosophical problems which may not even yet exist. I learned awhile back I am supposed to ask, "Do you just want to vent or are you looking for solutions?" I struggle with remembering to ask that, but when I do remember I *think* do pretty well? Might have to ask my wife to rate my success on that one.

Lastly (and perhaps most importantly?) I didn't mean to fall in love with my wife's BFF which, from an outside perspective I could totally see the jump to Savior Complex given the circumstances. As it was, I had been infatuated with her for several years - from a distance. I believe that was known only to my wife as it wasn't common knowledge. I had never spent any one-on-one time with her so really didn't know her. My infatuation surrounded her actions, attitude, and behavior; I was enamored. But this past visit which afforded us ample time to get to know one another on a completely different level and honestly, I wasn't prepared. I learned how she orders and processes data and got a glimpse into the intrinsic machinations which fuel her beautiful aura. So yeah, I was powerless.

Sorry not sorry.

<sup>1. https://hackspirit.com/savior-complex/
2. https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-a-Savior-Complex
3. https://medium.com/practical-growth/overcoming-your-savior-complex-ebadbb2d7e0f
4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-high-functioning-alcoholic/201702/the-savior-complex</sup>