Initial Recalculation

My life has been filled with adventure and wonder, but in the case of discovering my wife (INTP) processes faster than I do, also humbling. I don't remember exactly when I chose to stop arguing with her, but given it takes me longer to process than it does her, it just seemed...cleaner; more advantageous. My hetero-lifemate (also INTP) once suggested to me, "You know that part where you disagree with my logic and we discuss it for an hour and you realize I'm right then we continue? Maybe just skip that part."

I think I solidly accepted my role of letting her make all the big decisions when I fell in love with her own self-described hetero-lifemate (INFJ) as that specific personality type is my (INTJ) only known Kryptonite. With those two strikes against me, what else could I possibly do besides sigh a dreamy sigh while accepting my fate? And as Clonish said to me recently, "...and because [INFJ] use both logic and emotions, they can out think and out-debate almost everyone." Another dreamy sigh.

And her being INFJ explains both the curious initial infatuation and embarrassingly short leap to my open declaration of love. I also knew the moment I opened my mouth that everything I said to her henceforth would be suspect. Thankfully she's known me long enough to trust when I promised I was logical enough to realize this and could maintain an objectivity not colored through that particular lens, but I had to wonder, at what cost? Living your authentic self can get messy at times, though admittedly that's the exception, not the rule. Living our authentic life is, quite possibly, what we're all striving to do in some permutation or another whether we know it or not.

I have also been pondering engaging in intimacy-building exercises with her, which is one of my favorite pastimes, especially with partners who are receptive to it. Intimacy-building exercise are (as far as I'm concerned) akin to soul-binding, so should be used with an over-abundance of caution as one might wield a powerful tool, rather than a harmless plaything, but I've never really done anything halfway. My wife and I both are absolutely jump-in-both-feet-first-and-see-what-transpires people; we enjoy playing with thoughts and ideas as malleable objects to see how they could fit into our lives in order to enrich it. When you don't subscribe to the relationship escalator, it's easy to do as you simply discard the ideas which don't work and embrace the ones which do. As with most things, doing this in a relationship takes dialogue, transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity, hence the intimacy-building exercises which are paramount to success.

I'm excited to see what the future holds.