Physiology

I don't embarrass myself often, but this one was an absolute doozy. You see, I fell head-over-heels in love with my wife's best friend.

While it's true my wife would often joke of "grooming" her friend as our Sister Wife, it was (almost) always tongue-in-cheek. When we finally made it down for a week-long visit, I admitted to her BFF I was infatuated with her - but nothing more. And honestly, I had no idea I could fall this hard in love a mere two days later. Yet that's exactly what happened. Like I said, embarrassing.

And now, at 50-years old, my bloodstream is flooded with the entire cocktail of chemical imbalance one would expect from a post-pubescent lovesick teenager. It is absolutely infuriating that I can (mostly) identify all these discrete emotions and their subsequent chemical excretions messing with my otherwise optimally developed brain while simultaneously being held captive by them - there is nothing I can say, do, or think, to get them to subside. It's been a week now with no signs of slowing.

Honestly, all this would be awesome if the timing were right, but it is absolutely not - by any stretch of the imagination - which leads me to make all the proper logical moves to ensure a best-scenario outcome for everyone involved (including myself). The only problem? Brain chemistry doesn't appreciate logic which runs contrary to emotion. Thus the brain starts dumping even more chemicals directly into my blood to regulate as what it sees as balance, restarting the cycle. My brain is literally holding me hostage.

My wife on the other hand is loving all the residual NRE washing over her in waves. The three of us went to dinner together one evening and afterward she stated it felt like a double-date. This hostage situation is benefiting her in ways she struggles to condemn. Want to know what she put in my head tonight? She's now downright giddy for me to sleep with her BFF and described it to me in such painstaking detail - and why she wishes this - I now have new and different chemicals pumping through me! Surely there's a ratio limit which will be reached at some point to trigger a failsafe in my kidneys to start filtering all of this out of my body.

I have decided, at the very least, that the knowledge all of this is still functioning properly is a good indicator I haven't actually been in love since I met my wife, or when our relationship modified four years later to such an extent we both experienced another bout of NRE. So yeah, I guess I've got that going for me.

Stay tuned, as it was my wife who suggested that "blogging" might help me cope. Yay.