ehowton: (Default)





She banned him. He admitted to me later, he was just trying to have some fun, but she took it wrong.

He banned her. She admitted to me later, she was just trying to have some fun, but he took it wrong.

*sadface*

Its time for a change. She's unbanned him! Can he find it in his heart to unban her? Its so easy to point out other's faults. The greater challenge, is to finds traits we admire in others, and perhaps work on mutual interests first. Do they have anything in common?

[livejournal.com profile] melancthe's strengths as I see them:

  • She's very witty.

  • And polite.

  • She likes filmscores!

  • She's smart.



[livejournal.com profile] schpydurx's strengths as I see them:

  • He's loyal.

  • And longsuffering.

  • He likes filmscores!

  • He's passionate.



I see a win.

Recently, [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx intoned lament for neutral ground in which to foster discussion. Please, allow this post to be that discussion place. Let's work on building up, rather than tearing down.

And I am not without blood on my hands. I enjoy the thrill of the hunt. I say and do things, terrible things sometimes, in hopes of righting wrongs. I've done a lot, God knows I've tried; To find the truth, I've even lied. So if there are bad feelings, blame me. I'm the foo. Fight me.

Can't we just all get along?
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 15:04 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com
Thank you for taking this important first step. While its easy to see the flaws of others (in this case, the lack of a proper apology) I can see that this action, even though it wasn't against you, hurt terribly.

With someone as passionate as [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx, the right course of action always comes in time - usually not immediately. Passionate people require a, "cooling-off" period as they get so fired up. If they didn't, the passion would die on the vine.

I feel certain that he'll do the right thing, when he's ready. And we can be thankful that though at times hot-headed, that his heart is always in the right place.
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 15:23 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] melancthe.livejournal.com
I can understand the cooling-off period, certainly, and I agree with many of the points you've raised.

However, my issue is with the fact that his actions hurt someone else (the person he accused) unnecessarily, and thus needing such a cooling-off period can't be a valid excuse. It's one thing to do something stupid that doesn't have such serious consequences (after all, we all do stupid things and we all screw up frequently) but once someone's actions start harming others - and I don't see how publicly accusing someone of hacking your account can't be considered harming someone - a more serious apology, not a half-hearted pseudo-apology, is needed, and needed urgently.

I know his heart is in the right place, and I know he'll do the right thing eventually, because he's a decent person at heart, but "eventually" is not good enough. Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your own actions, after all, and admitting your faults and making restitution to those you've wronged. Now, not later.

And no, the bad blood between [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx and myself isn't just as a result of this particular little drama, but the drama itself conveniently serves to illustrate some of my concerns: in essence, that I disapprove of [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx's treatment of others.
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 16:14 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com
The closer we are to a situation, the more personally we take it.

And while I'm trying to foster an environment of cooperation here, I understand that sometimes this means first bearing one's soul.

One step at a time...One step at a time.



Date/Time: 2008-04-16 16:52 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] melancthe.livejournal.com
Your Diplomacy rolls are impressive today. Have you been putting extra points into Charisma?
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 18:58 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com
Thank you for the vote of confidence. I simply let the die lay as they roll.
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 19:38 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] melancthe.livejournal.com
I'd like to lay my dice as they roll too, but I figure that might count as bribing the DM.

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