ehowton: (Default)





She banned him. He admitted to me later, he was just trying to have some fun, but she took it wrong.

He banned her. She admitted to me later, she was just trying to have some fun, but he took it wrong.

*sadface*

Its time for a change. She's unbanned him! Can he find it in his heart to unban her? Its so easy to point out other's faults. The greater challenge, is to finds traits we admire in others, and perhaps work on mutual interests first. Do they have anything in common?

[livejournal.com profile] melancthe's strengths as I see them:

  • She's very witty.

  • And polite.

  • She likes filmscores!

  • She's smart.



[livejournal.com profile] schpydurx's strengths as I see them:

  • He's loyal.

  • And longsuffering.

  • He likes filmscores!

  • He's passionate.



I see a win.

Recently, [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx intoned lament for neutral ground in which to foster discussion. Please, allow this post to be that discussion place. Let's work on building up, rather than tearing down.

And I am not without blood on my hands. I enjoy the thrill of the hunt. I say and do things, terrible things sometimes, in hopes of righting wrongs. I've done a lot, God knows I've tried; To find the truth, I've even lied. So if there are bad feelings, blame me. I'm the foo. Fight me.

Can't we just all get along?
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 14:49 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] melancthe.livejournal.com
It's not that [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx and I can't get along, it's that I'm frequently saddened by his behaviour towards other people. I don't understand why he feels the need to behave the way he does towards others.

The latest drama, for instance. He screwed up: accused an innocent person (innocent of that particular crime, at any rate), and likely embarrassed her terribly. I just wanted to know why he couldn't say, "Oh shit, I messed up! I'm really sorry!", and actually make amends instead of double-speak apologies and blaming of other people. That was what I found so odd: I've normally noticed that [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx is good at admitting culpability, and this seemed so out of character for him.

But when I pushed him on this (with a little too much snark, it would seem) - after all, he hadn't defriended me, although I'd defriended him for being annoying a couple of months ago - he got angry and defensive.

I'm a horrible, awful person at times, and I freely confess it. Hell, I even like being horrible and awful. But injustice bothers me more than I like to admit. And this was injustice. Whatever my flaws (and I have many), I will always stand up to fight against what I perceive as unfair treatment.

Please, allow this post to be that discussion place. Let's work on building up, rather than tearing down.

Your wish is my command, good sir.
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 14:50 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] melancthe.livejournal.com
Oh, thank you for calling me witty and smart. ;)
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 15:15 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com
I paint what I see, child.
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 15:04 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com
Thank you for taking this important first step. While its easy to see the flaws of others (in this case, the lack of a proper apology) I can see that this action, even though it wasn't against you, hurt terribly.

With someone as passionate as [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx, the right course of action always comes in time - usually not immediately. Passionate people require a, "cooling-off" period as they get so fired up. If they didn't, the passion would die on the vine.

I feel certain that he'll do the right thing, when he's ready. And we can be thankful that though at times hot-headed, that his heart is always in the right place.
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 15:23 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] melancthe.livejournal.com
I can understand the cooling-off period, certainly, and I agree with many of the points you've raised.

However, my issue is with the fact that his actions hurt someone else (the person he accused) unnecessarily, and thus needing such a cooling-off period can't be a valid excuse. It's one thing to do something stupid that doesn't have such serious consequences (after all, we all do stupid things and we all screw up frequently) but once someone's actions start harming others - and I don't see how publicly accusing someone of hacking your account can't be considered harming someone - a more serious apology, not a half-hearted pseudo-apology, is needed, and needed urgently.

I know his heart is in the right place, and I know he'll do the right thing eventually, because he's a decent person at heart, but "eventually" is not good enough. Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your own actions, after all, and admitting your faults and making restitution to those you've wronged. Now, not later.

And no, the bad blood between [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx and myself isn't just as a result of this particular little drama, but the drama itself conveniently serves to illustrate some of my concerns: in essence, that I disapprove of [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx's treatment of others.

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Date/Time: 2008-04-18 03:41 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com
It's not that [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx and I can't get along
We haven't gotten along for quite some time.

t's that I'm frequently saddened by his behaviour towards other people.
What's it to you? If I'm not doing those things that you hate to you, why should you care? It's between me and that other person.

He screwed up: accused an innocent person (innocent of that particular crime, at any rate)
Nice choice of words, Slick. ;)

just wanted to know why he couldn't say, "Oh shit, I messed up! I'm really sorry!"
That's simple. I did admit to the mistake, but I'm not in the least bit sorry for what I have done.

[livejournal.com profile] ehowton, a great SysAdmin who, like myself, has experience with frozen threads warned me that my account had been hacked. He was rather hot under the collar and swore to "rip her a new asshole".

My reaction was based on the concept that my privacy had been invaded because she had used my password. This was reinforced by the fact that in both [livejournal.com profile] ehowton and I's previous experience with frozen comments, once frozen they couldn't be delete except by the blog owner.

I therefore wanted to make a statement on my blog about my view of invasion of privacy. This led to being defriended.

In my little circle of blogging friends, it is considered censorship, disrespectful and on par with high treason to delete a comment in the middle of a thread to erase the hateful words.


I've normally noticed that [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx is good at admitting culpability, and this seemed so out of character for him.
I hope that these words which I have uttered shed some light on the subject. I have relegated the objectionable material to a list of select few eyes, which, at the time of this writing, excludes you.
Date/Time: 2008-04-18 06:09 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] melancthe.livejournal.com
What's it to you? If I'm not doing those things that you hate to you, why should you care? It's between me and that other person.

Because you chose to conduct your business in a place where I could see it. You're always quick to tell the other person that she shouldn't make personally revealing comments on public posts; the same applies to you. And the reason why I'd care: well, it's the reason that makes us so different. I don't like to see people bullied, and bullying was precisely what you did. Which is why I'll stand up for the victim regardless of my thoughts on her personally.

My reaction was based on the concept that my privacy had been invaded because she had used my password. This was reinforced by the fact that in both [livejournal.com profile] ehowton and I's previous experience with frozen comments, once frozen they couldn't be delete except by the blog owner.

Then your research was poor. LJ has NEVER not allowed comments to be deleted, even from frozen threads. LJ's position on comment ownership is extremely clear, and has been for a very long time: that the person who made the original comment or post is the owner of those words, rather than the ownership being transferred to the owner of the journal or community in which they were made, and thus should never be prevented from deleting them. You claim that your mistake was made because this was changed. I disagree - this has never been the case, and your "mistake" was made because of an incorrect assumption in the first place.

If you wish to argue this particular point, I'd strongly suggest you find proof (from an official LJ source) to support your claim of it being changed. I can find absolutely no records to suggest it has ever been otherwise.

I therefore wanted to make a statement on my blog about my view of invasion of privacy.

Making a statement about an invasion of privacy is one thing, but accusing someone of the crime of hacking into your journal, and posting chat transcripts with someone's real name attached are not the same thing. Can you not see the difference?

In my little circle of blogging friends, it is considered censorship, disrespectful and on par with high treason to delete a comment in the middle of a thread to erase the hateful words.

I agree completely here. However, in the circles in which I move, it is also considered disrespectful ... nay, vile! ... to re-post conversations and discussions that were held privately, especially with the other person's name attached. I'd consider that infinitely worse than deleting comments, as awful as that may be; your mileage may, of course, vary. Does everyone on your f-list need to worry about you re-posting f-locked material and/or AIM transcripts? Judging from your behaviour towards this former friend of yours (behaviour which was triggered by a likely-incorrect assumption in the first place), I'd say that they should well be worried.

I hope that these words which I have uttered shed some light on the subject. I have relegated the objectionable material to a list of select few eyes, which, at the time of this writing, excludes you.

From your attitude towards your former friends and the confidentiality you had shared with them, I would hope it would exclude me for a long, long time.
Date/Time: 2008-04-18 12:42 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com
I therefore wanted to make a statement on my blog about my view of invasion of privacy. This led to being defriended (http://schpydurx.livejournal.com/19540.html?thread=579412#t579412).
I like how you tried to throw me under the bus with you. As if, somehow, my doing it too somehow stopped you from being immature.

An allegorical story and the reposting of private AIM session (with names attached!!!) are two very different beasts.

I'm surprised you still don't differentiate between the two. And seeing how everyone else I interact with does...how to you think you appear in their eyes?

That's a rhetorical question dude, please don't attempt to answer. Thanks.
Date/Time: 2008-04-18 04:09 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com
But when I pushed him on this (with a little too much snark, it would seem) - after all, he hadn't defriended me, although I'd defriended him for being annoying a couple of months ago - he got angry and defensive.
It was over the top and out of character, even for you. I thought you had truly went psycho.

I'm a horrible, awful person at times, and I freely confess it. Hell, I even like being horrible and awful.
This is called passion. It's ok to be evil...sometimes.

But injustice bothers me more than I like to admit. And this was injustice. Whatever my flaws (and I have many), I will always stand up to fight against what I perceive as unfair treatment.
This is yet again an example of your passion.

I am very happy that you stand up for what you believe in and will fight for it, even if it means a fight-to-the-death. This is one of your most redeeming features, one that makes me feel very warm inside when I think about you. Please, for the love of God, do not ever change this way about you. Just pick and choose your battles wisely.

But by the same tolken, I've made my mind up on the issue that sparked this whole debacle in the first place. I have explained my position on the matter and will not waiver from it. If this is to be the straw that breaks the camel's back between you and I, so be it. If that's what's written, that's what's written.

We've now played [livejournal.com profile] ehowton's little game and he's had his amusement. It is time to make our decisions. I await your riposte.
Date/Time: 2008-04-18 06:23 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] melancthe.livejournal.com
It was over the top and out of character, even for you. I thought you had truly went psycho.

You must be joking. You thought my remarks there were worse than previous comments I'd made to you? Although, that said, I do apologise for calling you a "spreading red stain on the white dress of humanity", which was excessively rude, despite it being what I was thinking at the time.

Just pick and choose your battles wisely.

I do indeed pick and choose my battles wisely. Someone being hated by a group of others, the same way the victim of your accusations is disliked by many reading this very journal, doesn't entitle them to less justice and less defence than anyone else. In fact, in some ways, such people need my words more, for who shall speak for the voiceless if not someone who would fight injustice?

I don't need to like someone to dislike what I see done to them. And your brand of bullying will always bring you into conflict with people like me.

But by the same tolken, I've made my mind up on the issue that sparked this whole debacle in the first place. I have explained my position on the matter and will not waiver from it. If this is to be the straw that breaks the camel's back between you and I, so be it. If that's what's written, that's what's written.

As you wish. You've played your cards and I've played mine. I shall not waver from my own committment to what I perceive as the righting of a wrong.

We've now played [livejournal.com profile] ehowton's little game and he's had his amusement. It is time to make our decisions. I await your riposte.

The great puppet master is no doubt amused, as he well should be, for his work has been fine.

I think we've both made our decisions; there is no middle ground that can be found. However, I would suggest that we both, in the interests of not causing uproar on [livejournal.com profile] ehowton's journal, try to remain polite when we encounter each other on here. I will endeavour to refrain from snide remarks, and I hope you shall do the same.

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Date/Time: 2008-04-16 16:09 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] lehah.livejournal.com
At the risk of throwing in my two cents when its not called for, [livejournal.com profile] schpydurx has always struck me as a goddamned godless grease-shit poster who enjoys being that inexpressible combination of both arrogance and willfully ignorant. Everytime he has something to say its done with the same intonations as a young know-it-all child trying to impress an adult over some trivial nonsense.

This opinion is, of course, based on what I've seen him post in journal comments. He could cure cancer for all I know but that would still mean he comes off like a stiff prick as a person. And thats what we base our relationships on, isn't it? How someone "comes off as"?

I don't buy that "Well, you need to know him" banter either. Why would I want to get to know someone if they're a jerk? I have enough jerks in my life and why would I need one more? They're not pokemon.
Edited Date/Time: 2008-04-16 16:09 (UTC)
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 16:44 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com
I don't disagree on any particular point, and I am a very strong supporter of your last paragraph.

I suppose then that this is a case of "If he's not kind to the waiter, he's not kind."

I'm not here to pick sides, rather to allow a neutral forum in which case your comments are most welcome. Thank you.
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 16:48 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] melancthe.livejournal.com
A++.
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 17:21 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com
I want love on my own terms.
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 18:54 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] melancthe.livejournal.com
Coincidentally, I want a pony.

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Date/Time: 2008-04-16 18:57 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com
Today, on this thread, we're focusing on not being a selfish prick, k?

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Date/Time: 2008-04-16 17:22 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com
Why did you pick that godaweful screencap? Something from When Harry Met Sally would be more appropos.
Date/Time: 2008-04-16 18:56 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] lehah.livejournal.com
Anyone who doesn't want to repeatedly anally violate Molly Ringwald during an 80s movie has to be gay.

Theres a law or something.

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Date/Time: 2008-04-16 18:59 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] melancthe.livejournal.com
He thought it was appropriate. See, despite their expressions, the characters in the screencap DON'T END UP TOGETHER.

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Date/Time: 2008-04-16 19:00 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com
I didn't see anywhere that When Harry Met Sally would be applicable.

John Hughes rox0s and Molly was his Muse.

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Date/Time: 2008-04-18 02:08 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com
She banned him. He admitted to me later, he was just trying to have some fun, but she took it wrong.
He banned her. She admitted to me later, she was just trying to have some fun, but he took it wrong.


I wrote an endless novel
Called See Jane Love and Hate
Edited Date/Time: 2008-04-18 02:09 (UTC)
Date/Time: 2008-04-18 03:05 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com
[livejournal.com profile] schpydurxintoned lament for neutral ground
I did no such thing, sir. All I said was that [livejournal.com profile] melancthe can use her blog as a platform and she can use anyone's comments as a platform but I have no intentions of letting her use my blog as a platform.

You have twisted my words and incorrectly quoted me. That, sir, is slander. I don't want to have this conversation which is why aside from work, I'm almost two days responding to it.

You, sir, have orchestrated this whole shenanigan for your own amusement. I hope you burn in hell for it.

P. S. Your Rodney King philosphy of flowers and free love doesn't cut it in the real world.
Date/Time: 2008-04-18 12:48 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com
This would hold a lot more water if I hadn't had to explain to you what transpired.
Date/Time: 2008-04-18 03:20 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com
[livejournal.com profile] melancthe's strengths as I see them:

She's very witty.
And polite.
She likes filmscores!
She's smart.



In short, she's cool, the exact opposite of me everything I'm not and everything that people wished I would be.

This truly is a fish-out-of-water scenario. Why don't you give up?
Date/Time: 2008-04-18 12:47 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com
Why don't you give up?

Fuck it! Yes! That's your answer for everything! Tattoo it on your forehead! Your revolution is over. Condolences. The bums lost. My advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me? THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS LOSE!

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