Parker's Interpretation of Ass-Biting Seal

[ehowton]

Parker is not just my spiritual successor to dream interpretation, she's my actual uh, successor too as she's my direct descendant. ANYWAY, this is what she had to say about the dream, which is fucking wild given the order of events, which I'll touch on afterward:

The two old women
Old women in dreams can symbolize wisdom, the passage of time, or aspects of your future self. The fact that they were calmly sipping tea at midnight—a liminal time—suggests a kind of serene acceptance of the strange or unknown. They could represent an inner voice of calm observation amidst the weirdness of life’s late-night moments.

The BMX kids
Pre-teen BMX’ers could symbolize youthful energy, recklessness, or spontaneity—perhaps contrasting your role as a parent or someone walking a slower, more deliberate path. They might also mirror your daughter’s own stage of life, if she’s nearing adolescence

The gila monsters
Gila monsters are venomous lizards that move slowly and bite hard—they hang on and don’t let go easily. They might represent painful or toxic emotional attachments or burdens that you carry even after you’ve recognized them. The fact that they latch onto your hips (an area associated with movement, stability, and carrying weight) suggests something weighing you down emotionally or energetically, but which you eventually manage to release—with your daughter’s help.
That release feeling—“a great weight had been lifted”—is key. It could indicate that you’re in the process of letting go of something that’s been draining you, perhaps with the support of family or a renewed sense of humor.

The leopard seal
Leopard seals are predators—strong, sleek, and somewhat menacing—but also creatures of the water, which in dreams often symbolizes the unconscious or emotions. The seal attached to your lower back might represent something deeply embedded in your subconscious—a persistent emotional pain or pattern that isn’t immediately debilitating but keeps surfacing in small, uncomfortable ways.
It might also suggest a hidden fear, guilt, or self-critical voice that still “hangs on” even after other problems have been resolved.

At the end, everyone you met reappears in a kind of overwhelming scene—a “mad orgy-level event,” as you put it. That sounds like a culmination of all the dream’s symbolic energies—wisdom, youth, burdens, pain, healing—all converging in one wild release. The group working together to finally remove the seal might symbolize integration—your psyche processing different aspects of yourself (the old, the young, the burdensome, the supportive) to free you from lingering emotional weight.

Despite the surreal grotesquery—gila monsters, seals, pain—the dream isn’t a nightmare. There’s humor, resilience, and warmth throughout. You and your daughter keep going, keep laughing, keep connecting. That suggests that you’re navigating difficult emotions or transitions with grace and adaptability, maybe even subconsciously affirming your ability to face pain and absurdity without losing your footing or sense of self.

Damn dad you’re subconscious is fucked up

The fascinating part is she wrote this prior to me authoring, "Metamorphosis" and I only read her interpretation after I'd written the blog 👀