Cass - Day 11

[ehowton]

Fast & Testimony today (first service after General Conference). After church I brought Kaylie home while Cass and Abbs went to Young Women's for second hour. We went almost immediately to AirBNB (sans Abbs this time), then to A Taste of Jerusalem for gyros and tabouli salad (fantastic). We started A Beautiful Mind but had to run back to AirBNB to swap laundry and stopped on the way to see her folks; I did enjoy telling her mother I was looking at houses in the area as she has opinions on why I am here and how long I should be staying lol

In conclusion to one of our long-running conversations, I've finally acquiesced to one of Cass' long standing concerns that I also date other women while I date her. It will certainly make my life interesting to say the least. This way, apparently, I can make sure there isn't anyone in the local Great Bend area who isn't more well suited for me - Central Kansas of course bearing witness to its diverse dating pool. She will be doing likewise. I'm oddly comfortable with this arrangement because I know it will put her mine at ease. She's been my best friend for far too long for me to not want that for her, and I love her enough to give her what she needs. Sometimes being my best friend and potential lover both creates conflicting priorities, but her friendship has always been, and will always be my ultimate goal.

Its been such a tumultuous couple of years and a highly concentrated version of that since since I've been here that now that I'm finally at peace with myself, her, and us, the familiarity of it is a little odd. As usually, looking forward to how my future continues to play out.

Comments

[codekitten]

Sorry if I've pinged this entry 20 times. I so rarely comment on anyone's journal that I couldn't remember where the icon was!


Again, I know you didn't ask for my opinion. There are so many flags in these posts that point to her not being interested in you romantically. You know how open I am about flexible relationships. It's not a critique about that at all! I also only know what you have posted here. I don't have a full view so take this with a grain of salt.

But it REALLY feels like her language about you dating other people (and her as well) paired with all the other stuff you've written is just an escape route for her. She's not REALLY interested in being with you but she doesn't want to tell you. She's already gone so far with this situation that she would feel bad to back out...so this is a stop-gap.

I could be totally wrong and 99% of the time I would never comment on other people's relationships. I just care about you and have been worried. That's all. It comes from a place of love. It's just something to possibly consider.

*hugs*

[ehowton]

Oh, she's absolutely not interested in me romantically. That's been my struggle for the past 24-months. Unrequited love is...difficult. It's also beautiful and far-reaching. Yet we connect on so many other levels. This is absolutely a me problem, and I have yet to move past it.

Again, thank you so much.

[codekitten]

Oh ok. I thought you guys were seeing if you could make it work romantically.

Anyway, thanks for taking my comment in the spirit intended. I think you are amazing and just want you to be happy. xoxo

[ehowton]

We are.

[codekitten]

Good to hear :)