The Why

[ehowton]

I am with your counselor on not understanding why you would want to take me on.

Because you're focusing on all the wrong things, and possibly painting me through your eyes. You have lists upon lists of things which are important to you; how you are perceived by others, attempting to balance your beliefs with both what you truly desire from life and life's unending challenges which oftentimes run contrary, finding solace while simultaneously juggling your many responsibilities. No, for me it's much more simple: I enjoy your company. I find you fascinating in so many different and unfamiliar ways. You challenge me (a first for me) and am enamored due to it. I wish to experience the whole of you - everything, all of it. And I know myself well enough that I will be able to effortless integrate into your life in such a way that we can share and minimize your burdens together. I can't do it alone, but I can accomplish anything were you by my side. Simply put, our focus and experiences are currently at a mismatch.

...sounds like lovesickness to me.

I'm sure it does. That's because you only hear about the good things. I don't often mention the times I'm wrought with anguish, or completely ambivalent to absolutely everything. Why? Because it's usually short-lived and of no real consequence, but it does exist - its all part of scenario running - which by the way is so much easier to do logically, completely void of emotion. Sometimes logic provides that clarity, other times only emotion can provide it. It goes back to that quote we often share and laugh about, "If an introvert tells you they love you, believe them, for they've thought of every reason to not." It dawned on me you may think, "ha ha that's funny" without understanding everything which actually goes into it - otherwise you may not say things like, "...sounds like lovesickness to me.