Couples - First Session, Part II

[ehowton]

My wife gave me her reactions to our first session after a day's reflection:

• During the entire session, the therapist focused primarily on me; my wife didn't feel heard at all.


• When initiating the subject of bipolar versus IUD interaction with perimenopause, the comparison the therapist used was that of her own cousin who was a "royal bitch" until she had it removed. My wife felt the comparison was not only unprofessional, but also an unfair evaluation of my wife's behavior.


• During the "report card" scenario, the therapist only questioned my responses, not hers.


• The therapist brought up private conversations she'd had with my wife during their previous solo session during our couple's session.


• She believes the therapist is already (enamored?) with my intelligence as it was obvious I was speaking over her level of understanding.

As my wife processes much more quickly than myself, I trust her conclusions. Nonetheless, prior to changing therapists I suggested she broach these infractions (at least the first four) in order to gauge how she handles the criticism and her suggestions for moving forward. If she chooses to become defensive, we can find another.