2023 - First Session

[ehowton]

Fascinating first session, and I really don't know how to write it all down with any semblance of flow, so maybe bullet points? Also a couple of questions to which I didn't know the answer (though the questions had previously crossed my mind).

• I may not actually have (undiagnosed) ADHD. More likely, my high intelligence simply gives that appearance and mirrors the symptoms.
  


• I am likely starved for connection with those who can meet my intellectual needs.


• Because I see everything as data, by my very nature I would treat everyone in need as requiring a provided solution.


• This can appear as (its not) Savior Complex when exacerbated by finding someone who's simultaneously met my intellectual needs (wife's BFF, for example).


• My wife's desire to find me a suitable girlfriend may be driven by residual co-dependence.


• I may be hypersexual (her term, not mine).


• I don't know why I want to be sexually intimate with those I fall in love with (its not a requirement of mine), but that got me to thinking of the following differences (which honestly saddens me to contemplate, so maybe she's right?)


• Noetiplatonic


• Noetialterous


• Noetiromantic


• Noetisensual


• Being a gifted child has the same social challenges as being developmentally stunted.
  


• The grief-cycle I was going through was obvious to her: Despite logically understanding all the reasons the timing was horrific with the BFF, emotionally its not at all what I subconsciously desired. So classic conflict there I guess, ugh.

So yeah, quite a bit covered. My next session is the 18th. I plan to attend ten of these solo, then another ten with my wife.