His Terrible Swift Sword

[ehowton]

Why would anyone - and I don't care who you are or what you believe - presume that the Almighty would subject himself to the...Gregorian calendar?

So unless that's your thing...don't go getting yourself raptured today. Me? I'm going to swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh to fulfill the primary definition of the word, and my body shall shudder along the with sounding of the 7th trump.

w0rd.

Comments

[michelle1963.livejournal.com]

People create God in their own image. Therefore, God is small, petty, and certainly adheres to the Gregorian calendar!

Muaahahaha!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Very true. And my God (http://ehowton.livejournal.com/332771.html) is freaking awesome!

[michelle1963.livejournal.com]

Indeed! But then you know what I think about your brain, clone. :-)

[kat-rowe.livejournal.com]

omg, reading that made me spray lemonade all over my monitor. that's hysterical...

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

Well they know it's the of the Rapture because Noah knew!!!

You mean to tell me you haven't sold all your belongings and are waiting out in a field for the Rapture???

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I raptured myself earlier this morning.

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

So that's a no then???

[catttitude.livejournal.com]

I plan to sale all our belongings alright, we just have so much junk.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Don't forget to shave your head.

[catttitude.livejournal.com]

w00t w00t.....

[catttitude.livejournal.com]

Does the rapture mean it will start now or be the end now?

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

This particular brand of crazy is called "Pre-Tribulation" Rapture. That is to say, the beginning of the end. Pre-Tribbers believe (unlike the Mid-Tribbers and Post-Tribbers) that God will spare them from the Apocalypse by taking them before all the heavy shit hits.

Since absolutely none of this is *actually* outlined in the bible, it makes for an incalculably good time watching the Pre, Mids & Posts argue about who is right, and why.

[catttitude.livejournal.com]

I know nothing.....

[kat-rowe.livejournal.com]

i did not get Raptured. guess it's back to hoping that level 1 of Hell (virtuous pagans) isn't overbooked when I arrive...

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Alternately, you could your author your own FAN!FIC version of the "seven levels" of "Hell" where the lowest level is evangelicals and work your way up from there :P

[kat-rowe.livejournal.com]

nah. Dante's level 1 is where all the cool parties are ;)