Gothic Novel

:53

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2024 - Third Session

Someone was exiting the building in which I have therapy as I was walking in - carrying two blended coffee drinks - and she said to me, "OoOoOOoH, treats; you're someone's favorite client," lol

I really never know what we're going to talk about when I get there, and today was no different. She asked a lot of questions about my opinion as to what led up to the separation and I replied impassively which led her to ask if I was angry about anything. Not really, no, because I'm operating under the assumption she's healing from trauma and will support anyone's growth even if it no longer includes my involvement. This placed us squarely back on the subject of self-actualization. The counselor mentioned many people believe they are self-actualized. I agreed. I also mentioned actions, attitude, and behavior being the visible manifestation of such regardless of what those people might believe about themselves. She agreed. She asked how I defined it. Using Kolhberg and Erikson as a jumping off point, I explained I simply don't let external influences impact me. She reserved judgement until I told her about the order of events involving Gabby: We invite a transgendered person to live with us in our home in a very small town. I introduce Gabby to everyone in town. My wife moves out of the house.

I waited.

Her eyes grew wide.

She could hardly contain her laughter - "They're all already jumping to conclusions about you and Gabby!"
"So I assume."
"How does that make you feel?"
"Nothing. It's not about me, it's about them; it changes absolutely nothing. Kinda makes me giggle though."
"That right there is what most people strive for - to be completely free from others' opinions."
"I don't even struggle with that - it's silly."

She acknowledged it must be difficult to find people with whom to converse, then asked me a whole host of questions:

She asked why I continued to pursue my wife's BFF after 18-months of rejection.
She has yet to convince me her rejections are sincere (and continually approves my request to pursue her); we're very well-matched personality-wise if our in-depth conversations are any indicator. I also mentioned I've learned the hard way that best friends make the best lovers. She looked up me and smirked, "I've always thought so."


She asked why I wanted a relationship with someone who had three children - one of which may never leave the house - since my own children were already grown and successful.
I'm rather fond of these girls and don't consider this a valid reason to not pursue a relationship with her.


She asked how I felt about being in a "traditional" (monogamous) marriage.
This is the most fascinating one by far, as evidence suggests my natural state is monogamy and that I was using ethical non-monogamy simply as a means to an end; to get my needs met. The BFF and I have discussed intimacy ceaselessly.


She asked questions surrounding my need for sex and intimacy and how that manifests itself.
Interesting since she's the one who first labeled me as, "hypersexual" yet I admitted to being on the low-end of that spectrum since apparently some hypersexuals REQUIRE intercourse 3-to-5 times per day.