It doesn't happen to me often - in fact I can't remember a time in recent history where it has - that I've become so preoccupied with things, I'm actually feeling insecure. And I ask myself, "Why does everything end up always hanging in the balance?" I know the answer to that of course. Every single one of us is pursuing our own interests to the
nth degree and sometimes they don't necessarily align with one another. That's hard. Harder still when feelings of insecurity start to creep into your psyche. I feel like I'm now living
the very dream I dismissed an inapplicable despite the rather clear interpretation. Is there such a thing as delayed comeuppance? I'm pretty certain that was my hubris speaking when I dismissed the dream which is seemingly causing me distress now.
To add insult to injury, I don't dare take this to either my wife, nor my lover. At least not at the moment. Not only am I not secure enough in either relationship given recent events, I also don't want to burden them further with all they already have going on, especially for something as intangible as this.
Maybe I'll call my daughter.
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