On the outside looking in

[ehowton]

Ever since moving back from Saint Louis, I scoff at the weather. There, as with most of the midwest, they are littered with tornadoes, sometimes several a day during their 'tornado season.' Yesterday, however, was a little different. I was standing outside in the sun talking to the Schwan's man, when the sky darkened, and the wind stopped blowing. Mothers were running outside looking for their children. I went inside and turned on the television and stared in disbelief at a map of Anna, Texas with a bring pink "C" surrounding our fair city.

My phone rang. It was my father: "ARE YOU IN SHELTER?" He asks. I look outside again. Fierce rain is pelting the house and our fence sways unnaturally. Its was as dark as night. I blink at the television. Tornado.

Now, I've lived in Texas most of my life, and sure we have a 'corridor' for them to travel down, and we've made preparations before to sit them out in shelter. We watched this tornado (two-minute video) real-time from Irving as it tore through downtown Fort Worth heading straight for us.

But yesterday was the first time I've ever sat in a bathtub to wait out a storm.

I suppose it's because I have kids now.

Fortunately, the children's bathroom is spacious and well equipped. So the three of us sat in the tub while listening to the screech of the mixture of wind, rain and debris pelt the house. Ten minutes later, it was sunny and quiet again, and the children wen back outside to play.

It never touched down.

Comments

[wardlejew.livejournal.com]

Where did the Schwan's man take cover?

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Good question! I told him I'd make room in my garage for his truck, that way, we could eat the food out of it instead of eating each other if it came down to it.

He chose to drive South, away from the pending doom.

[wardlejew.livejournal.com]

He wanted the goods for himself if something happened! Can't blame him!

[catttitude.livejournal.com]

You should have used your bathroom time wisely by giving the dog a bath and cleaning the toilet. No point in just sitting around when there is work to be done.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

What was I thinking1?

[catttitude.livejournal.com]

Is that the office window or the small window above the door? How did you get up there anyway?

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I'm like a MONKEY!

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

Odd. When I was first told the story via AIM, I thought that the reason that ehowton and the kids were in the tub was for the purpose of cleaning the dog.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Obviously you're not a golfer.

[professortom.livejournal.com]

When I first heard the story, I had my finger up my ass!

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

I was wondering when you were going to pull the old bastard out.

[danzigfried.livejournal.com]

Dude. Doooooooooooood....

"I was wondering when you were going to pull the old bastard out."

Did you REALLY mean to set yourself up like this??

There are SO many answers for that statement. Here are a few of my favorites:
1. ...when it was good and smelly.
2. ...when the old man had successfully 'milked your prostrate'
3. ...when the old man wanted his finger back so he could go to the cafeteria. "Its pudding night!"

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

I was referring to professortom.

If you can't keep up with the conversation, it's best you try not to join in at all.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I was referring to professortom

So was he.

[galinda822.livejournal.com]

You gotta lead 'em by the hand don't you babe!? ;)

[quicksilvermad.livejournal.com]

I remember tornadoes. We used to get them almost every "summer" in Wyoming. Funny how base housing doesn't have freaking BASEMENTS. We had to clear out the hall closet and hole ourselves up in there several times.

We had 15 touch down on the highway once.

And I saw a funnel cloud form right above my head when I was in fourth grade—we sat in the church basement for about three hours with the AM radio playing a blow-by-blow of where it was headed.

In each situation, my dad was hanging out in the backyard and pointing at the forming funnels with the other neighborhood dads.

We had an earthquake here in Virginia the other day. I so did not notice it. I was born in Vandenberg, CA. "Duck and cover" was one of the first phrases I learned as a child. It's kind of funny watching people who aren't used to crazy shit like this. They act like they've never even heard of the term "earthquake" before.

Goddammit, we're on a FAULT LINE you idiots...

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Water table. That's why we don't have basements in Texas. The water table is too high. Saint Louis was my first house with a basement. It was...odd. Saint Louis also has earthquakes, apparently. I'm glad I missed that!

[quicksilvermad.livejournal.com]

I get the water table thing, totally. That's why there are no freaking storm drains in Florida.

They did have houses with basements in Cheyenne, but we got gypped when we moved on base with the houses they built in fifty seconds that you could hear everything in (especially the neighbor in the duplex yelling at her kids).

We have basements aplenty here in Virginia.

And earthquakes aren't that bad. You get used to them.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

photogoot and I lived together in Hampton for awhile (we were both stationed at Langely) then I went to Korea and he moved around a little bit ending up on Buckroe Beach if I recall correctly.

Beautiful country, Virginia.

[galinda822.livejournal.com]

Only 3 in the last 2 weeks.

Of course, our last one was 22 yrs. ago. Guess it's catch up time.

[unixwolf.livejournal.com]

I think ole buddy Jay is going to have to hook you up with a scanner so you can listen to skywarn nets when it hits the fan...

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Calling my dad in Wise County so he could relay the news to me was a bit cumbersome. Didn't Skywarn become self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th?

[time3.livejournal.com]

Wow :O I'm never moving South.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

To put things in perspective, none of our intersections have to remind us to, "Wait for Green."

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

And yet you claim that Alabama is backwards. At least we know how to drive and build rockets. What's your excuse?

STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Once you master basic understanding, you'll be allowed to reply. I bet none of the intersections in Alabama are marked that way either.

Just like Texas.

Moron.

Re: STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD!

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

How the fuck should I know? There's some dumbass motherfuckers in Texas.

Re: STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

How the fuck should I know?
Precisely. This should've been your first indication that *maybe* you shouldn't have said anything, on the off-chance you were going to end up looking like a fool.

Re: STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD!

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

how could I not jump at the chance to rake you over the coals?

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

That bad weather of yours came this way today. Around 1500, they had us all gather in the hall as we had moved from a Tornado Watch to a Warning. I facetiously called out, "Anyone got a copy of Twister and a TV we can set up?"

People here don't have a sense of humor.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

People here don't have a sense of humor.
Yes, that's one thing I've always disliked about people from Alabama.

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

I meant at this company, not Alabama, jackass!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Maybe it was your delivery?

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

Unlikely.

[whester.livejournal.com]

I wasn't out there at the time but I can tell you it was the delivery or maybe the fact no one likes him don't know which.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

What's not to like?

[whester.livejournal.com]

Maybe it is the cheery attitude?

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Oooooooh, you're good!

[galinda822.livejournal.com]

Gotta love STL weather! We get it all.

Remind me why I still live here! ;)

Hope the kids weren't to scared.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

After STL? This was a game to them...They were giggling like retards in the bathroom watching Pendragon try to interact with a very disinterested Daisy.

[galinda822.livejournal.com]

watching Pendragon try to interact with a very disinterested Daisy.
Now that's entertainment! :)

[jaceman.livejournal.com]

Tornadoes make for overrated blockbuster movies and Schwan's makes me wish I weren't behaving with my weight right now. Grrrrr!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I actually saw a B-movie with Crispin Glover and Harry Dean Stanton named Twister about an Oklahoma megalomaniac and his bizarre children.

My father bought it for me on laserdisc and it was so bad, I didn't talk to him for a year.

[irulan-amy.livejournal.com]

Tornado watches and warnings would scare the beejeezies out of me in Ohio, even though they rarely touch town there and never did in my area. I was always more frightened as I always lived in a modular home and frankly, it didn't seem that sturdy. ;)

Glad it passed you and the Schwan's man by.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I always lived in a modular home...
Those are like tornado magnets in the midwest!