Moving Through Grief, Chapter I

[ehowton]

Describe What You Have Lost

• As a result of your primary loss, what else did you lose?

My future. Or so it feels. We had gleefully discussed the details of our shared future together and that which we wished to create, so when she withdrew, so did those plans. Without a future on which to focus, I felt set adrift. My place in the world was abruptly upended. Worse perhaps, I lost my sense of self when she expressed shock that I believed the contents of those conversations were to actually occur; that I had misunderstood her intent.


• What emotional experiences have you lost?

The joy of unmitigated trust, which is a big one. Self-confidence is another. I noticed my normally abundant lifestyle switched to scarcity and my attachment style has seemingly been downgraded from secure to anxious.


• How would getting any of these things back feel?

Suspicious. Undeserving. I'm unsure I would immediately trust them. I thought I was an exceptional communicator and could discern intent fairly well. This has caused me to question everything.