ehowton ◾ ◾ WTAF?

I was bored. I seem to be in full create mode now. My exile lasted six weeks. It was late, and I wanted to get a full night's sleep after my evening workout. But I believe the boredom atop it all was the likely culprit. I received a text before midnight, "Are you in town?" I was. I was indeed. In town, and bored; thinking about going to bed. "You should come byyyy and help me decorate. It's my bosses birthday tomorrow"

I dressed, grabbed Tabs' laptop I've been meaning to return to her, and drove to her office located on the town square. I don't often drive this stretch at night, and I couldn't remember if my left turn was this street, or the next. I was looking for a landmark. As I approached the intersection I saw the police car to my left, waiting at the red light - then saw the gleaming white stone of the courthouse and knew this was my turn. I indicated, the light turned yellow, I completed my turn and the cop's lights came on. I pulled into the parking space at my destination, lowered my window, and turned off the car as an officer approached my vehicle for the second time in six weeks after not having been pulled over the decade previous. "You ran that red light."

"In front of you sitting there? I think not."

"Well, it turned red while you were still in the intersection."

"Which is why I continued through. Stopping in the middle of the intersection, then reversing back out is not something I would ever do."

"That would have been better than continuing through the intersection."

"Really. You would have preferred I hit my brakes - in front of a cop, in the middle of the intersection and backed out."

"Yes."

"I'll keep that in mind for the future."

The cop - whose steely gaze never left my own, finally looked around. "Nice car. You work here?"

"No sir."

"Ok."

"What is this place?"

"A title company."

"Oh."

...

"What brings you out here?"

"I'm returning a laptop." (Let the record show the driver indicates an HP laptop with the power cord wrapped around it sitting the passenger seat).

He checks my license and insurance and lets me go. Tabs saw the whole thing. Told me I was likely pulled over for driving a black Cadillac with tinted windows through downtown late at night, "Suspicious."

We spent the next eight hours decorating her boss' office for her birthday, then went to breakfast. Perkins has shitty coffee so I ordered a chocolate milk instead and made coffee when I got home. Drank half the cup during my morning meeting, set the cup down, placed my hands on the keyboard and don't remember time passing. My coffee was cold. I didn't know who or where I was. I took an early lunch to lay down and was thrust into a dream where I was in a large, circular mansion with all manner of guests; lesbians and cossacks, professors and courtesans, nihilists and conspirators, very possibly the criminally insane, and my son and daughter. We traveled ceaselessly around and around the circular mansion which consisted of three levels and occasionally breached the outdoors. It was a dark and stormy night. Nothing was as it seemed, yet paradoxically it didn't seem like anything specific - there was far too much fluidity within the uneasy and constantly changing alignments. Some of the guests were gracious while others were rude - until called out, then they too were accepting of company. I was of course my usual affable self which didn't seem to fit in anywhere. And board games! But the kind where everyone laid on the floor to get a worm's eye view of the player pieces within the complex set of rules which were engrossing despite having little rational meaning. I saw my son and daughter infrequently as we were all moving in different figurative (and literal) circles; we communicated through a series of glances, expressions, and nods. I was having the time of my life as I moved from one clique to another - some times terrified, other times comforted. I couldn't even begin to figure out what was happening anywhere, with anyone, though I feel certain I was attempting to seduce some of the women while simultaneously avoiding others. Then! I awoke with a start four minutes before the alarm I'd set.