D.S.I.A.T.P.

[ehowton]

Sometimes the lessons we wish to impart to our children backfire. Hey, it happens. Are we not but human? More to the point perhaps, are they not also, and do we allow the fragility of the human condition to stay our hand when it is more appropriate to do so? One can hope. My daughter was struggling in one of her classes once upon a time, and as is my usual, rather than give her advice, I recounted a story from my own past (from my 2006 post, "Cars"

My goal was to get out of class as early as possible, each and every day so I could finish the car. Back then, we'd have daily exams after each class, and I'd work on my car the rest of the day. As the lowest-ranking individual in the class, I got lot of flack. Most people waited 10 years to get into this class, and I was there after 18 months. After the much-touted 'final exam' I was approached by some of the higher ranking classmates. "Hey, what did you get on your final?"
"88%"
"Ha! I got a 92. I thought you were smart or something?"
"It took me 45 minutes to complete the test - that's a school record. What did it take you? Three and a half hours? I'll take my 88." Everyone hated me. I was comfortable with that.

Little did I know at her impressionable age she would turn my words into more of an unwritten law, rather than a mild suggestion to wield in times of duress (and learning that for some people life itself is an unending cascade of distress). So while I'm not exactly thrilled she chose to craft her education goals around the failings of a young man who wanted to work on his car rather than pushing himself intellectually, its probably healthier than a lifelong cycle of fear/failure/guilt/disappointment which plagues those who don't often meet their own highly unreasonable expectations.

All of this just to say I closely identify with a term which I have only just become familiar - Highly Selective Engagement:

It's almost like you treat action itself as an investment - if it doesn't generate multiple returns, the opportunity cost is too high. It's a fascinating system, honestly - because it's not laziness, it's highly selective engagement. You don't avoid effort; you just demand that effort cascade into multiple benefits. And once you do engage, you tend to go deep, making sure it's fully optimized before moving on.

Those who know me well roll their eyes when they hear me reiterate, "level of effort" as my yardstick each and every time. I'm not opposed to doing the work, but I won't do so needlessly. Which brings me to the concept I've been trying to find the name for since I first mentioned it in this very blog - the idea that if we do something poorly, and it is well received, we don't accept that adulation because we know it could be better. Likewise, if we create or accomplish something amazing, even if it is poorly received we won't accept that either because we alone know the effort it took produce the result - we don't live or die on external validation - good or bad, and this is why.