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Several weeks ago, Jennifer's daughter pulled cards on the upcoming trip to New Mexico. I don't remember the specifics, but I do recall that everything would turn out fine save one person getting their feelings hurt. Didn't really think on it again. I had just crawled into bed last night when - for reasons unknown - I wondered for the first time, what if its me? Then promptly burst into tears.
Two things struck me simultaneously: Why had not even considered that as an option before now? And omg my tears were scorching hot running down my face.
Jennifer was consoling, reminding me that I'd rather be hurt than allow my actions to hurt others. But in that moment, while true, I admitted to her I didn't want to bear that burden.
