ehowton ◾ 2023 - Fourth Session (Reply)

Very different session this time around - relaxed really. She asked more details about how wife and I met, asked about how it was blending the kids into the relationship, asked how I knew my feelings for wife's BFF were love and not, "positive wellbeing" (or some similar turn of phrase), asked about my parents, being raised in a cult, and how to define happiness.

That last part was after I explained her that the intimacy exercise was causing undo stress, but not for the reason she may think - the addition of stuff we already do as a matter of course in a controlled setting was becoming untenable, and we felt pressured under the circumstance. She completely understood. When she asked my relationship goals, she seemed unsurprised our initial conversation had surrounded the constraints of the framework in which to answer that question. I let her know that my stated goals were to be happy in 3-days, 3-weeks, 3-months, and 3-years. She explained that happiness was without metric, and that something more concrete would probably help. That's when I mentioned Destination Addiction which brought us back to defining happiness, to which I answered, "being challenged."

As far as the kids go, she asked, "Are they both like you?"
"My son is more extraverted, more grounded, and more easy-going."
"Ok."
"My daughter is exactly like me in every way, only more intense."
"Wow."

When I brought up actions, attitude, and behavior over words she found common ground - mentioned that her and I were a lot alike in that regard. After the session wife's BFF called and I realized she had a handful of interactions where she was able to grasp those things quickly and accurately, which let me know she had a good handle on its practical application <3