Cessation

[ehowton]

I fell in love with my wife's BFF on our 3rd anniversary and the chemicals which have been coursing through my body ever since are finally subsiding. I can feel my calm, my objectivity returning. It's been a hell of a ride. Seven weeks of chemical imbalance finally coming to its conclusion. Of course this is new territory to navigate as well. At least I should be able to reorder everything with a clear mind and see what's left of the carnage.

I am no longer physically pained from the ceaseless pining and irrational cycle of grief over a relationship which never occurred; no longer being held hostage - but it has left me with a constant headache as my body reestablishes itself without the high. The void it has left won't be without its own challenges I am sure, and already my wife is now threatening to find me a girlfriend through an online dating app. "That's not how that works!" I tell her, but I am defenseless against her arguments, namely that she is now convinced everyone with ADHD needs multiple partners, and that I would be helpless if she found me an INFJ; "Pattern recognition babe, you've fallen in love with every one you've met." Alas. She's ready for another dose of reflected NRE, and (believe it or not) my hazy traipsing around with my head in the clouds.

That said, it is nice seeing things slightly more clearly now. I wonder how I'll end up remembering this powerful, all-consuming time in my life.