If our happiness is to be within our control, then it must be intrinsically generated.
~Not based on the achievement of goals ~ "I'll be happy when...." People with this type of thinking often find any happiness that arises with goal achievement is short-lived.
~Not based upon the possession of material things. Sure we may like new furniture or a big screen TV, but again that happiness is short-lived. As a source of happiness, that big screen TV is not going to solve any internal dilemmas that are roadblocks to happiness.
~Not based on approval from others. Approval from others lasts but a moment in time and fades.
That said, I'm not entirely immune from some external circumstances. However, these effects have nothing to do with generating my happiness. Instead, I have found that certain external circumstances ~ rare and yet profound ~ can be so taxing, so energy draining that it is difficult for me to reach my intrinsic happiness. I've had three times in my life that this was true.
~Working for a supervisor who fostered a toxic atmosphere, keeping employees uptight and constantly on edge.
~Living with someone who felt entitled to inflict a barrage of negative emotion without limits. The intensity and unpredictability left me continually on guard.
~ My father's death. Time took care of it eventually.
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ninetydegrees
(no subject)
~Not based on the achievement of goals ~ "I'll be happy when...." People with this type of thinking often find any happiness that arises with goal achievement is short-lived.
~Not based upon the possession of material things. Sure we may like new furniture or a big screen TV, but again that happiness is short-lived. As a source of happiness, that big screen TV is not going to solve any internal dilemmas that are roadblocks to happiness.
~Not based on approval from others. Approval from others lasts but a moment in time and fades.
That said, I'm not entirely immune from some external circumstances. However, these effects have nothing to do with generating my happiness. Instead, I have found that certain external circumstances ~ rare and yet profound ~ can be so taxing, so energy draining that it is difficult for me to reach my intrinsic happiness. I've had three times in my life that this was true.
~Working for a supervisor who fostered a toxic atmosphere, keeping employees uptight and constantly on edge.
~Living with someone who felt entitled to inflict a barrage of negative emotion without limits. The intensity and unpredictability left me continually on guard.
~ My father's death. Time took care of it eventually.