Jennifer

Spent the past weekend in Oklahoma with Jennifer. We did all the things the first day - it was fun and exciting and delightful. The second day we challenged each other (and ourselves) by focusing on, and removing, any known limitations in our thinking. It took us 12-hours. This was not simply a mental exercise. No, we were coming up with real-world examples in which we could apply them, some of which were able to be immediately applied in the practical, which often opened us to further discoveries in a wonderful cycle of enlightenment. This was just the beginning as we only scratched the surface.

Limitations come to be a part of our fabric through a lifetime of either not being aware of, or never questioning, societal conditioning; trauma response; religious indoctrination; outcome of previous experiences; and self-doubt (to name a few); all of which can be overcome. The product of working outside these constraints is likely rooted in fear; fear of failure, or fear of facing ourselves were we to question the identity in which we so desperately cling because we've so closely tied our self-worth to that which is entirely contrived. We can lose the meaning in our lives by loss of purpose or become aware that our entire existence is meaningless without those sacrosanct ideals to which we've bound our identity (some people really struggle with that I would assume [logical fallacy sunk cost fallacy/commitment bias].

I disclosed to her that my concept of crafting an entire relationship based upon transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity was entirely theoretical - that I had zero empirical evidence such a thing was even sustainable as I have never found a willing partner in which to engage in that manner, and she let me know I was living, breathing proof of her own theoretical machinations. If I look at our relationship completely objectively, she is the perfect example of someone with whom to test. We're able to discuss more openly; more transparently, all the subjects - without fear of repercussion, or judgement, or hurt or greed or anything else which could be potentially detrimental to a relationship - new or otherwise. When you see with your own eyes that willingness, that desire to succeed through collaboration and brain-storming, and problem solving, it has a way to cement the idea in ways considering it begrudgingly absolutely does not. This is the freedom of living fearlessly; the raw power of it. And it is contagious.

One of my more recent epiphanies is that two (either emotionally mature or self-actualized, I haven't yet figured out which) people who not only willingly choose to heal together, but have a strong desire to heal together - become one another's cheerleader; champion, lover, and helpmate, lay a much stronger foundation. How? By being present. By watching the growth firsthand and playing an active part in it. When you weave yourself into the process, you don't have to second-guess intentions or words or actions because you watch the transformation yourself, you become a part of that healing in a visceral way which leaves no questions remaining. Jennifer has not just offered to be that with me, she's excited about it because she innately comprehends the power in that; the freedom is offers.

She knows any conclusion I come to of my own volition is going to be far more impactful, and likely more permanent. She therefore does not attempt to influence me in any way, understanding that has the potential to sow the seeds of doubt later on.

It really is a wonderful thing to behold.