Moving Through Grief, Chapter 2 Activity

What were the most important things in your life before your loss?
Transparency, vulnerability, reciprocity, and dialogue.

Who were the most important people in your life?
My wife, her best friend, and my two children.

What is one big thing you want to accomplish in your life?
To live happily ever after.

What do you imagine your life looking like in the future?
Living happily ever after.

At your funeral, what would you like to be remembered for?
My kindness, passion, creativity, and love for life.

What life experiences have left you feeling the happiest?
Traveling the world and having someone with whom to share the experience.

What kind of relationship would you like to build with family and friends?
Those are already pretty well established so I wouldn't change a thing.

How do you want other people to see and experience you?
As not given to rashness, and for always being encouraging.

What kind of life would you create if you could live the life you wanted?
I am all but living it now. I simply wish to share the rest of it with someone who wishes to practice intimacy at same level for which I strive.

What kind of work would feel meaningful to you?
The work I'm currently doing.

How would you like to contribute to the world?
By living authentically.

Is some form of spirituality important to you?
Not really, no.

What kind of person would you need to be to create meaningful change in the world?
The type I am currently.

How do you want to look after your health?
By making changes which promote a long, active life.

Personal Growth: What are your strengths? What would like to have more of?
My ability to not let my emotions control my behavior. I'd like to have the ability to more easily reconcile emotions with my logic.

Health: What are the main characteristics of a healthy body and mind?
Consistency in exercising a variety of thoughts/actions.

Leisure: Do you like being creative? Productive? What brings you joy and pleasure?
I do, yes; both creative and productive. Being creative brings its own joy. I pretty much see joy in everything around me most of the time, punctuated by bouts of frustration of course. As for pleasure, running through my love languages perhaps; the little things. And a good cup of coffee.

Work: What were you taught about work, and what do you believe now? Do you have work-life balance?
Not sure I've ever thought about it in this manner before, but I guess I was taught that we must absolutely work for what we want. I do believe, in part, that remains true, but my experiences have proven time and again work alone won't get you as far in your career as attitude. I like to think I have work-life balance, but I assume everyone has their own expectations as to what that means for them.

Wealth: If you were gifted one million dollars today, what would you do with it? Spend it on fun? Pay off debt? Help others? How does your choice reflect on you?
I can't imagine my life would change much with a million dollars, at least not in the present. I would most certainly set aside the majority for retirement, when it would be needed the most. I have all the materialistic things I want, and much more importantly, all which I need. There's nothing wrong with fun, but I assume my idea of fun differs greatly from the lowest common denominator. I have no debt to speak of, and would absolutely help those who need it. How this reflects on me reinforces perhaps who I am, and where I place my priorities and values.

Family: What were your proclaimed versus unspoken family values? How can you build on those values?
The only thing I can think of in this regard is when I was already grown and saw for myself how my father helped those around him. "Just being neighborly" he'd call it, but he often went out of his way to assist others. I find I do the same locally.

Social: What kind of friend do you want to be? What kind of friends do you attract?
I am the nonjudgmental kind. Having recently relied upon my daughter for support, her nonjudgmentalness was key in comforting me; I hope my own is as comforting to others. As far as who I attract, easily those who are drawn to my intrinsic joy. Few however, are able to reciprocate it. The ones I keep are (mostly) those with strong emotional maturity who can discuss ideas as malleable across a wide range of topics.

Community: What do you stand for? If you were running for political office, how would other's characterize you?
I often stand for the lone voice of reason in a sea of emotions. Ergo, were I ever to run for office, I would likely be seen as, "uncaring" as pathos rarely works on me.

Environment: What is your commitment to the planet and other people?
Moderation over excess in many areas of my life translates to commitment to the planet in lockstep. Other people? To live authentically, be nonjudgmental, and to always keep in mind, "...but for the grace of God there go I."

Parenting: What values, dreams, and achievements do you want to transfer to your children? How do you want them to remember you?
My (now adult) children have embodied everything I've hoped they would to arm them in this world: Empathy, compassion, kindness, open-mindedness, and critical thinking. I never give them unsolicited advice, but they come to me often on their own. I don't have to guess how they'll remember me, they tell me every day in their words and actions: loving, and wise <3

Intimacy: What do you value about your relationship? How do you find you and your partner treat each other?
What do I value about my relationship? The dialogue, transparency, and vulnerability were allowed to give one another; the safety in that, the potential for continued growth. I find we treat one another with honesty, and respect.

Spirituality: How do you find your spiritual beliefs inspire you? What are you rejecting or embracing?
I no longer have any spiritual beliefs to speak of since stepping out of that world and into the world of verifiable, repeatable data. That said I don't outright reject others' beliefs. I acknowledge the power it holds for them, and embrace their desire to worship as they require.

Overthinking