Mini

M2 Pro saga so far: The support person who took ownership of my case was unable to get the required approvals for the return and/or upgrade to the M1 Ultra Studio today and will reach out again Thursday. When an M-series box crashes to the firmware loading prompt, it can be quickly and easily "revived" by attaching it to another M-series computer and running Apple Configurator on the working machine. This of course requires a person to own more than one M-series computer. So I bought a base M2 Mini for Dorian ($499 on Amazon) and reclaimed the i7 Mini in the interim (also to run my x86 VMs). If this ever happens again, I'll be able to fix the goddamn thing myself!
Also much love to Tony, who gave me my first Mini, and Carla, who gave me my second Mini ❤

2023 - Seventh Session

Good session this time around - I had lots of ground to cover and Tess was instrumental in helping figure everything out, so all good things!

Let's begin, shall we?

Last week I experienced an acute, consuming, lust-filled desire for my wife's BFF. It rocked me, and I was so taken aback by it, I didn't mention it to either her, or my wife, wanting to wait until I got a chance to talk it over with my therapist. So the first thing I asked her was, "What the hell flipped in my Neanderthal lizard brain," followed with, "How can I prevent this from ever happening again?"

When she was done laughing at me, she explained (in so many words) that's not how life worked, and that not only was she unsurprised by it, she has been expecting this conversation. Tess then laid out my "sexual template" something with which I was unfamiliar, concisely summarizing everything.

According to my therapist, everyone has that something which arouses them sexually; mine (as should be expected at this point) is simply different from most. In a nutshell, I experience sexual desire only after meeting a highly-specific brilliant mind which processes data in a manner similar to my own. Voila! Instant turn-on. And given my lifestyle (versus say, that of a serial monogamist) it makes perfect sense that I would want to surround myself with these people and share that intimacy with them. It's what I see in my wife, and it's what I see in her BFF. The reason I desire them both so very much, is the rarity of them, both exactly meeting my unique sexual template.

Which leads us to something I had disclosed to my wife's BFF previously nearly verbatim, but had not mentioned to Tess at all, which made her statement that much more noteworthy:

Your wife is caught up in comparing herself with her BFF by the physical differences she sees, but you find them equally sensual because you're attracted to their bodies because of their minds.

Or something to that effect. I was giddy when I told her that was how I'd explained it to the BFF! "Nice, did you also explain that to your wife?"
"I don't think so?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

And of course, therein lies the problem. What the fuck is wrong with me indeed.

According to my therapist, nothing. It is simply who I am.

This led to a lively conversation with my wife as I finally disclosed that day of unhinged sexual desire for her BFF. "Oh, I know," she said. I looked at her quizzically. "It's my job to know," she clarified.

She truly is way smarter than me :P