Reparations

When I first started dating my wife, she was puzzled by the relationship I had with my daughter; when she was around I slipped into "daddy" mode, a persona (for lack of a better word) she never saw me in outside those times. She was however unsurprised when I became that same person around her BFFs three girls, "stepping into that role" as she put it. What did surprise her however, was becoming that person around her BFF - the announcement of which also surprised me. I was not only unaware that's what I was doing, I don't even recognize when I do it (but trust my wife's judgement), and have no idea what would have triggered that within me. To her, this curiosity made my falling in love with the BFF understandably problematic (e.g. possible unhealthy relationship), an interpretation I will be unable to fully disagree with until I figure out why that may have occurred, and correct it.

In my experience, the perfect triad is one of mutually-supportive dialogue, transparency, vulnerability, reciprocity, validation, affirmation, and open discussion of boundaries. Decidedly not what was unfolding real-time in front of me, despite my inability to see it at the time (forest for the trees as my wife likes to point out), so that one's on me - my bad.