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Dreamed last night I used to own a full-track, armored personnel carrier. It was just one of those things I thought would be fun to own. It was cold-war era with a side entrance and a narrow drivers cupola. I could remember many details about having driven it to Fort Worth when I was a government contractor with USDA. I remember it having astonishing acceleration despite being powered by a rear-engine diesel V8. It looked quite similar to G.I. Joe’s Wolverine driven by Cover Girl, but gun-metal gray replacing the olive drab. And while I remember all these details of having owned it, driven it, and remembering it, I couldn’t find any evidence that I had ever actually owned it. Was it possible these very real memories were just a dream? I found the thought fascinating and began wondering if there were other events in my life which were nothing more than fabricated nocturnal hallucinations.
I decided to Google pictures of this APC to jog some link to my memory and was shocked to find that a retro-80s version of the (then) “upgraded” APC existed - a brightly lit computer-driven vehicle filled with green monochrome CRT monitors and furnished with a hot pink and turquoise interior as befitting its time. It was built by Apple Computer and as fascinated as I was at this fantastic discovery, the longing for any evidence of my own APC outweighed it. Still, I couldn’t help but now compare the two in my mind; my fast, rugged, minimalistic APC which I adored, or this new, sleek, computerized version.
I was completely baffled that my subconscious dream-state could implant the feel of the tracks over the highway, the deep, visceral rumble of the exhaust preceding the physical sensation of acceleration, not to mention the sheer joy of owning and driving one of these magnificent machines as well as pining the loss that none of it was ever real.
I was back in Germany, or Korea, with some old co-workers who were still in uniform explaining how I actually drove my APC to work on rare occasion - that it wasn’t just a garage queen showpiece. But without proof, and the mounting evidence that all this was just a dream both fascinated, and saddened me.
