Mad Max COVID-19 Edition, Pt. I

A L P H A S

There was this show I never watched on television, Alphas where this (ex?) government (freelancer?) collected (gifted?) children who could do different things and turned them into some sort of eclectic agency to battle (evil?). So like there was one guy who had maybe super-strength, and one guy who could see (and manipulate?) radio waves, and once girl who could - I shit you not - ferret out and/or identify anomalies with her tongue (no, I never dated her). Anyway, that was her, "super power" and I only really saw a handful of the episodes with Summer Glau in them. But hand-to-God if there were ever a TV super power in real life, that's the one wifey has. Let me explain:

On any given meal I might boil 12-cups of water, lightly salted, and while that's reaching 212-degrees, I'm dicing onion to caramelize with some diced protein in another pan, garnished with something flavorful. Then after draining the pasta I'll whip up a massive creme sauce with a stick of butter, a shit ton of milk, a tablespoon of flour, some shredded cheese to make it melty, then stir everything together for a quick, impromptu meal.

"Did you cut the onions with the same knife you cut the jalapenos with earlier?"