Jetted-Tub Interdimensional Machine Recipe

To lose time (and/or bang hot chicks like in the movie) I suggest the following recipe which has been 100% successful in netting results. More or less. And by that I mean the results may not be exactly predictable. Case in point, I jumped in once for a short soak, and somehow emerged 4-hour later. Another time I was certain I was in there at least a couple of hours when in fact only 30-minutes had passed. And I wasn't kidding about the hot chicks. Just...try to be flexible with your expectations.

This is what works for me, your mileage may vary:

60-gallons hot water
2-lbs Epson salt
8-cups apple cider vinegar
4-Tbsp Dr. Bronner's 18-in-1 hemp pure castile soap
1-bottle eucalyptus/menthol/camphor
4-cups aloe gel
1/2 cup hemp oil

Booze optional.