21st Century Knight

Standing on my land, master of all I survey
I think fondly on the noble lords of yesterday
A lot has changed between now and then
And this is where the similarities begin

No helm of silver adorns this head
In its place a cap of cloth instead
And while ineffective against pointed trajection
It does offer superior sunburn protection

And you may not see an emblazoned royal crest
On the plate of metal upon my unprotected breast
Excepting of course the smallish identifying logo
Representing Ralph Lauren's fashion line, Polo

For I battle not for country nor king
I carry no banner of colors for thee to sing
In this day and age I'm alone in my fight
I am a twenty-first century knight

Speaking ever most precisely
Isotoner accessorizes nicely
(weather permitting)
I wear gauntlets of knitting

As for the fashionable greaves
That cover my knees
Seems a man named Strauss managed to antiquate
The need to gird anything with a steel-plate

My steed is a sports car, deft and able
Kept in a garage instead of a stable
The only walls of the fortress in my defense
Is my annually-stained backyard fence

Instead of a buckler to halt the blows
I use the bylaws of my HOA to oppose
In place of a paladin's shield and sword
I wield a different type of weapon: A keyboard

Just because foes don't carry arrows these days
Or haul with them a brigade of mighty trebuchets
Doesn't mean we're unhindered from fight or flight
I am a twenty-first century knight

I battle not for honor nor due to greed
But against high insurance rates and gasoline need
My home is my castle; subdivision serf
I will always stand alone to protect my own turf