"Speaking in Tongues" A Play in Three-Acts

ACT ONE:

There was a rapping (gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door) on the door the other night near bedtime. We never get visitors that late. I peered out the peephole and was greeted with...nothing! I unlatched the door and saw a box on the step. A white truck was pulling away. My wife's maiden name was on the box.

In one fluid move the package was snatched up and placed on a bookshelf away from prying eyes the door closed and locked as I strolled back into the living room. My wife and children gazed at me until I sat, and my son asks aloud, "Who was at the door?" I stared directly at my wife and announced:

"FedX brought a B-O-X for X-mas from your mother's X."

The kids had no idea what had just happened.

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ACT TWO:

The week galinda822 was here I canceled my internet service. I simply couldn't put up with the "sudden" links of SuddenLink after their many, many outages. With zero other choices, I called AT&T and ordered up the fastest DSL I could get in my area. It ain't much, but with the dry-loop option, very affordable. Static-IP, here I come. The DSL modem arrived the next day, but just like with the lack of a coaxial connection in the office, there's also no phone jack. H E L L O - Its an office - what did you think I was going to do in here? So I still need to get that tended to.

I call AT&T and once I finally get to speak to a person - seriously, you guys would not believe how these conversations go. Well, photogoot and galinda822 would. photogoot and I used to take turns watching each other perform on the phone whenever a call needed to be made:

( Not for the faint of heart... )

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ACT THREE:

(11:52:33 AM) Professortom: guess what?
(11:54:49 AM) EricHowton: You don't seriously expect me to answer that do you? I mean, given the circumstances of communication via this medium you're actually expecting me to say, "What?" prior to you releasing what it is you want me to know?
(11:55:36 AM) Professortom: yes.
(11:55:47 AM) Professortom: I'll wait for you to say "what?"
...
User Professortom Blocked

I really don't have time for that.