The Empirical Manifesto

The link to fleshlight.com (cleverly hidden behind an AFI link I knew you'd check) was designed for your amusement only, and I assumed you would delete it upon discovery. However, I feel the need to mention that because of your current situation and the advice you've been given which led me to submit that URL to you in the first place, it doesn't appear that you actually visited the site, even cursorily, as the product in question does the opposite of the function you suggested. It's not an object to insert into something, rather, an object who's function is to allow something to be inserted into it. The former having zero bearing on your needs, and the latter fulfilling them.