Take Two

[ehowton]

When I walked away from my relationship with Jennifer it was due mostly to the lessoned learned during our Experiment. Things I thought were important weren't, and things I thought weren't important, well...were. Which is a very odd place to start here to be sure. I walked away because I didn't have an emotional connection with her, and didn't want to treat our relationship as I have been treated. There's a lot of questions surrounding what I mean by emotional connection (for me) but its really more a resonance thing where the physical and emotional and sexual and intellectual all just mesh so perfectly they intertwine effortlessly. And I never got to that point within our relationship and wished to behave ethically.

And our friendship has only strengthened in the intervening six months.

It really became clear (for her) when I was espousing the bond of our reconfigured friendship as an example of how to articulate depth to her (at the time) new guy. They both just stared at me. She was touched, and he realized he felt none of those things and politely bowed out. Had I been romantically inclined, it would've been one hell of a Hallmark Christmas story.

And yet.

If I truly believe that connection is something which can be formed, then nurtured (I do) and if I truly believe that best friends absolutely make the best lovers (I do), it stands to reason we should be able to enjoy each other's company until such a time that resonance forms, or becomes apparent an altogether different configuration is more mutually beneficial. In other words, create an environment in which the possibility exists. Without constraints or agenda. To just...be. And remain open to possibilities.