After my [admittedly unusual] tough couple of weeks at work, I volunteered for paperwork duty - closing roughly 1300 tickets using our exactingly obtuse online system. Its been a double-edged sword. Many things are.

But I've enjoyed the pace.

In setting aside my unix administrator duties, I've no longer required all my available assets, which allowed me to consider performing my duties in a less formal setting - more specifically, the couch - a first for me.

I'm still getting used to it, but the change in venue has allowed me to better focus on my temporary responsibility. Awkwardly, I've had a sharp increase in conference calls during this same time, but I found the couch particularly well suited for those.

It surprises me sometimes how long it takes for me to reframe things, as I've been working from home now for two years, and only now just left the office.

Creating a remote standalone linux MINECRAFT server was not as glib a task I'd assumed it would be, and despite the (yes, literally) hundreds of HOWTO videos on numerous different forums and threads, all of them assumed much, and imparted little. I was attempting what seems to be a fairly common combination: MINECRAFT + Forge ModLoader + Biomes O Plenty Mod. Yet the least amount of information was found on the "official" sites, deferring to the forums instead. So after about two weeks of combing through "All you have to do is..." (and related videos which mostly showed people with Windows how to double-click an icon) I found YouTube user Wine X who illuminated the missing piece for me, through apparent trials and errors of his own. It was a relief to finally understand the missing piece, but incomprehensible that it was not documented anywhere, and I'll also admit that I was probably further discouraged because I'm a unix systems administrator by trade. All of this should have been much easier, and if not, at least well documented - and there were dozen of permutations to address. I ended up building an x64 (had to toggle my processor flag in the BIOS - had no idea it wasn't already) openSUSE gnome (as MINECRAFT wouldn't run out of the box on XFCE) vm, building there, and scp'ing up the finished code, which turned out to be fortuitous as I used that same box to later learn and document the `Download only` method of patching production SLES servers.

Once I finally got it doing what I wanted it to, I discovered my 512M box in Germany was woefully inadequate for the task. As far as I could tell from top the high load averages were causing java exceptions which kept dropping us from the server, and this with only two users logged in. I briefly considered hauling out my largest Xeon server - a 32G box, upgrading my home network and ordering a static IP, but went vps shopping instead as the cloud is far less expensive. (Although I did inquire about the DL380/G6 I might be getting from a neighbor in Anna). Cloudwise I ended up with a 2CPU/2G CentOS box on an SSD RAID which deftly processed all tasks effortlessly. As an aside, have I mentioned lately how much I dislike CentOS? I've grown so accustomed to, and adept at SUSE, I was fumbling my way through the Red Hat variant.

So yeah, the MINECRAFT server was up and running for a day or two, until I posted here revealing it. That is, before we learned about griefing; players who wreck havoc by destroying as much of a world as possible on public servers (thankfully, this never actually happened to us). But in order to harden our instance, it has to run a special version of the server in which to add the hardening plugins. Given the sheer amount of difficulty I had in just setting up a vanilla server, I assumed this next course of action would introduce a whole host of new problems (each version of the above may or may not be available/compatible with each other in the new configuration). I therefore quiesced the game, and made two copies - one a backup of the original working game, and two, a development tree; a completely different server path so I could tinker with the hardening without breaking the working instance. Its difficult to keep up with all the changes occurring so quickly in an unfamiliar environment.

Lastly, its been a bear of a week at work heaped atop last week's bear of an on-call; there were many...highlights to my week. In a related story it was nice that our Director cited, "busy learning all the new technologies" as to the reason I wasn't instantly fluent in the handful of deprecated technologies we support...on my day off. This, while my dad is trying to call twice a week or so to give me updates on my mother who is still in a nursing facility after all this time. I try to call her at least once a week, but she's been moved around so much from facility to facility, I have to await my father's call before I can call her. I do appreciate the flood of emails and texts I've received when its noticed I've stopped posting - despite the various forms they may come in (I had one ask if I was upset at them). I swear once school starts I'm going to get back on a schedule and start walking again and start posting again. Too much, too often with not enough down time in-between this last month. I guess sometimes it really does all add up. And for this level of energy deprivation, I'm finding I am drinking far too little. I go through these phases where I enjoy drinking daily for six months straight, and then won't drink at all for like a year. Right now I'm in between the two. Only I wish I were drinking, but haven't found the time to do so, and that is surely, by any definition, "too busy."

The idea behind flattening management structure is supposed to make employees more productive by making them feel as if they are part of the decision-making process, and streamlining both customer and personnel feedback by removing layers of middle-management. That's the idea.

In reality the most personal relationship I have with anyone in my management chain is my direct manager, whom I report to. He knows my strengths, my weaknesses, and the team dynamic - who works well together and why - which team members are more adept at which tasks. He personally juggles and doles out tasks based upon this knowledge and planning for future tasks. What it has always come down to for me is nurturing that relationship - attempting to work closely with the one who both writes your annual review and who's eyes you have to meet when you fail. And that's what it comes down to. Context. That very personal relationship you have with your first-level supervisor no matter your level.

So while horizontal organizational structures are all the rage, severing my personal relationship with a real person and placing me under a remote manager I'll never meet in another part of the country is not going to foster a close relationship. Its not going to make me feel more productive nor part of the decision-making process. My annual performance review will now be written by someone who's eyes I don't have to meet, and both of us will suffer for that.

Or, like I told him when he called to introduce himself, "I have been unimaginably successful every time I have had a local, on-site manager. The inverse has been painfully accurate each time I've reported to a remote one."

Monologue:

Did you hear the one about the brilliant-but-eccentric system administrator who didn't know how to manipulate data in a spreadsheet? Its because he was a brilliant-but-eccentric system administrator.

[Cue laughter]

Opening Scene:

"How can you not know Excel?"
"How can you not know what I do for a living?"

Fade Out...

Its like I asked the Project Manager who had requested the spreadsheet. "When was the last time I asked you to log into a unix box and fix a filesystem for me?"

Being in imagery intelligence (versus, let's say signals or emissions intelligence) was equally as problematic. Your average visiting dignitary never wanted to second-guess your interpretation by "reviewing" your wavelength. Whatever. But if you had pictures? Well then EVERYONE was a photographic expert!

Heh - "reviewing your wavelength." God I crack myself up sometimes.

Remember my mother falling and breaking her hip? Right, so she was supposed to have been released into the care of my father and brother, with the understanding that my brother would be doing all the heavy-lifting. Apparently he fell off the ladder while putting up the new carport and broke his hip.

Dad called and asked if I could help out this week. Is it just me, or is it odd these things happen exclusively during the summertime DRE's?

I do actually have a hypothesis behind this - DR would normally be a mental and physical stressor, but following events of family drama, DR is like a vacation! Its no wonder I can be all smiles no matter what :D

Perspective is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Prepping my body for the DR exercise was tricky business insofar as I have been working odd hours the past several weeks. So when I awoke at 0900 Saturday morning knowing I was going to be getting up for the drive to Texas at 0100 Sunday morning, I anticipated a very rough drive. All was for naught however in what I can only describe as a perfect harmony of being as I grew tired and went back to bed a mere seven hours later for an additional 11 hours!

Perhaps more aggravating, after sleeping in Texas Sunday night, I showed up to work bright-eyed and bushy-tailed very early Monday morning and was told, "Go get some sleep, you're on second shift." Hrumph!

Perfect harmony of being triumphed once again because I drove straight back to the hotel, mere minutes away, and fell into a deep slumber in which I dreamed...

I don't remember much about why we were on a tour bus, but it was a very active place with lots of excited conversation. I can no longer remember the details, but at one point was surprised to see Martin Freeman among the passengers! When we reached our final destination there was even more mingling and conversation - outdoors on a white patio shaded by trees and broken up with long white tables and short white-bricked walls. I approached Martin Freeman for his autograph - which he readily signed - but kept insisting I try the Merlot.

I wanted to try the Merlot, but was afraid it would come up short as compared to what they served at SUSEcon. To that end I kept looking around for "The Architect" because I knew he'd be drinking the Merlot and could guide me on my best course of action. In my dream Martin Freeman was very engaging and very friendly.

So in between the long, odd hours of not sleeping, I do seem to be able to will myself to sleep when I need do, even if I am unable to do it when I want to.

The Blackberry is, without a doubt, the enterprise standard for corporate communication, and rightly so with its rich feature-set leaned toward such. As a remote IT professional however, I seem to go through them about one per year. Recently added to the availability list, with help from an Enterprise App - the iPhone 4S. So I chose to go that route this time.

Sure the tactile keyboard is huge draw, but other than the minor email navigation hurdles (keyboard & touchscreen versus touchscreen alone) and some of the multi-tasking differences (physical keys make it easier to absolutely "back out" without closing down as compared to the single-button UI of the iPhone), I really do love this platform.

Right now I'm just struggling with various combinations of notifications (for rotating on call), which I thought would be way more configurable than the Blackberry, and while it may be, I haven't struck gold just yet. That and the Blackberry would connect to my bluetooth earpiece no matter which was powered on first - not the case with the iPhone - and if I answer the iPhone on the phone with the bluetooth attached, it assumes I don't want to actually use the bluetooth, rather the built-in speaker and microphone. Hrumph!

But it is nice having honest-to-god functioning apps over the occasionally-working Blackberry ports. And free apps. Damn near everything on the Blackberry is for-cost. 4G is nice too :)

Change isn't nearly as funny as people are about change. "I knew that would happen," they say when something unfolds as they predicted, as if imbued with magical gifts of precognition they call, "common sense." What is fascinating is what they say when they're wrong. Nothing. Unless pushed. Then excuses. Never ever a change to their rigid paradigms which may require updating.

My own predictions are made with far fewer inflexibilities. Not because I'm smarter than anyone else. On the contrary, I seem to shoot about average on predictions, as do the majority of us. Mostly because I'll make a guess and then sit back to see what I've learned in its unfolding. Even if I have a dog in the fight, I can learn from either outcome. Unlike those with "common" sense, I often fail to account for irrational, inapplicable results. And then, because they are irrational, and shouldn't seemingly apply to each and every scenario, I'm often surprised by them again. My bad. One can certainly anticipate an outcome which benefits them, but should not expect it. That would be short-sighted and successively problematic.

Our own ideas about things are often based on too little information. Which is why I cringe when nearly anyone suggests they have the answer to complex social issues. Here's an rather comprehensive chart on money. Just one aspect of multiple interrelated and equally complex systems that have to function together to properly work. And yet I hear advice all the time from coworkers and pizza delivery professionals both who "know" the answer to the worlds problems. Sadly, they fail to take into consideration that other people might feel differently than they do. The only thing I know for certain is that I can't grasp every thread of every relational system. Also, just because I may disagree with with something doesn't mean I think it's wrong or that it won't work. I even get accused of being "too complex" when I raise the point.

Election Day I saw a political advertisement where Obama concluded his ideas for a prosperous nation with the statement, "...and ask the rich to pay a little bit more." I'd quipped on a friends blog that the sentiment sounded great! However, Obama and I disagree on what is considered "rich" and our definition of "a little more." For my 2013 benefits election my employer moved to a "salary based" cost-structure in which my healthcare costs doubled.

Which brings me to disbelief. When facing a situation, "I can't believe this is happening" is not an acceptable answer for a workable solution. Furthermore, why not? We are each responsible for maintaining a general understanding of causality and the role we play in it, or at least the recognition that we could all be faced with situations in which we were not prepared. It would be foolish to coast through life thinking things would never change. The fact that we weren't expecting it is not a sustainable end-game when repeated ad nauseum. Personally, I can believe a whole lot of things, though I usually want to know why - the motivation and intent. That said, everyone copes.

I don't know what's going to happen with my benefits next year, next election, or what the general face of healthcare is going to look like in a decade. As long as I'm employed, I'll consider it a win. Besides, I'm well aware that something far more consuming than healthcare could become a new priority that we'll have to face and adjust for.

As for me, I'm not making any predictions.

When you're deprived of all freedom...you still have the most important freedom of all, which no one can take away from you: that is the freedom to choose what kind of person you want to be.
― Ingrid Betancourt