Baby, It's Cold Outside...
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN ST LOUIS HAS ISSUED A WINTER STORM WARNING...WHICH IS IN EFFECT UNTIL 4 PM CST TUESDAY. THE WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT.
RAIN WILL BEGIN TO MIX WITH SLEET TOWARD MIDNIGHT AND TRANSITION TO ALL SNOW TOWARD DAYBREAK. PERIODS OF SNOW WILL CONTINUE THROUGH THE MORNING AND EARLY AFTERNOON ON TUESDAY. SIGNIFICANT SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF 6 OR MORE INCHES IS EXPECTED BY TUESDAY AFTERNOON.
A GUSTY NORTH WIND BEHIND THE STORM SYSTEM WILL LIKELY CAUSE CONSIDERABLE BLOWING AND DRIFTING OF THE SNOW... LOCALLY REDUCING THE VISIBILITY TO LESS THAN A MILE DURING THE DAY ON TUESDAY.
A WINTER STORM WARNING MEANS THAT A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF SNOW... SLEET AND/OR ICE IS EXPECTED OR OCCURRING. STRONG WINDS ARE ALSO POSSIBLE. THIS WILL MAKE TRAVEL VERY HAZARDOUS OR IMPOSSIBLE.
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual


"THE OFFICE WILL REMAIN OPEN IN SPITE OF TODAY'S INCLEMENT WEATHER. HOWEVER, ASSOCIATES MAY LEAVE BEGINNING AT NOON WITHOUT BEING REQUIRED TO TAKE PTO.
U.S. POSTAL OUTGOING MAIL MUST BE IN THE MAILROOM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TODAY. BECAUSE THE RECEPTION DESK WILL NOT BE STAFFED, THE FRONT OFFICE DOORS WILL BE LOCKED AT 1 P.M."
That's everyone but myself, and my staff...half of whom didn't make it in today.

no subject
no subject
no subject
Please, please, please...
Re: Please, please, please...
Re: Please, please, please...
Re: Please, please, please...
Re: Please, please, please...
Re: Please, please, please...
no subject
Allow me to show my work.
--
Snow Days = Loss of Income
Loss of Income = Falling Behind on Mortgage
Falling Behind on Mortgage = Foreclosure
Foreclosure = Upset & Depressed Wife
Upset & Depressed Wife = Divorce
Divorce = Jace Cooking for Himself
Jace Cooking for Himself = Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
So you don't have to eat PB&J for dinner.
no subject
no subject
The good news is the office is staying open, so I don't lose any income. However, I'm still stuck with PB&J; allow me to demonstrate why.
First, we know that...
Snow Days = Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches
Well, unfortunately...
Office Staying Open = Same Thing...
Office Staying Open = Hazardous Roads at Close of Business
Hazardous Roads at Close of Business = Traffic Problems
Traffic Problems = Idiots Getting Ticked Off
Idiots Getting Ticked Off = Accidents
Accidents = Increased Insurance Premium + Deductible
Increased Insurance Premium + Deductible = Falling Behind on Mortgage
Falling Behind on Mortgage = Foreclosure
Foreclosure = Upset & Depressed Wife
Upset & Depressed Wife = Divorce
Divorce = Jace Cooking for Himself
Jace Cooking for Himself = Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches
--
It takes a little longer to work out the math in this formula, but as you can see, I'm screwed whether the office closes or not.
You need a tube of:
Re: You need a tube of:
Re: You need a tube of:
Re: You need a tube of:
That being said, I don't think I would be very apt to purchase anything that would make "screwing me" easier. That sort of encouragement only leads to purchasing future tubes and eventually to my own blog offending my very own "alternative lifestyle."
Re: You need a tube of:
Re: You need a tube of:
no subject
We're getting your storm now. It sucks. *frown*
Anyway - I hope your life is going better then it was when you posted this. :-)
Catch ya laters
no subject
no subject
Are you sure?