ehowton: (Default)
ehowton ([personal profile] ehowton) wrote2007-02-12 06:25 pm
Entry tags:

Baby, It's Cold Outside...


THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN ST LOUIS HAS ISSUED A WINTER STORM WARNING...WHICH IS IN EFFECT UNTIL 4 PM CST TUESDAY. THE WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT.

RAIN WILL BEGIN TO MIX WITH SLEET TOWARD MIDNIGHT AND TRANSITION TO ALL SNOW TOWARD DAYBREAK. PERIODS OF SNOW WILL CONTINUE THROUGH THE MORNING AND EARLY AFTERNOON ON TUESDAY. SIGNIFICANT SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF 6 OR MORE INCHES IS EXPECTED BY TUESDAY AFTERNOON.

A GUSTY NORTH WIND BEHIND THE STORM SYSTEM WILL LIKELY CAUSE CONSIDERABLE BLOWING AND DRIFTING OF THE SNOW... LOCALLY REDUCING THE VISIBILITY TO LESS THAN A MILE DURING THE DAY ON TUESDAY.

A WINTER STORM WARNING MEANS THAT A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF SNOW... SLEET AND/OR ICE IS EXPECTED OR OCCURRING. STRONG WINDS ARE ALSO POSSIBLE. THIS WILL MAKE TRAVEL VERY HAZARDOUS OR IMPOSSIBLE.




"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual








"THE OFFICE WILL REMAIN OPEN IN SPITE OF TODAY'S INCLEMENT WEATHER. HOWEVER, ASSOCIATES MAY LEAVE BEGINNING AT NOON WITHOUT BEING REQUIRED TO TAKE PTO.

U.S. POSTAL OUTGOING MAIL MUST BE IN THE MAILROOM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TODAY. BECAUSE THE RECEPTION DESK WILL NOT BE STAFFED, THE FRONT OFFICE DOORS WILL BE LOCKED AT 1 P.M."

That's everyone but myself, and my staff...half of whom didn't make it in today.


[identity profile] celtmanx.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
As I said earlier, don't eat the yellow snow!!!!!!!

[identity profile] celtmanx.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
Watch out for falling trees!!!!!!!

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 03:28 pm (UTC)(link)
No shit. The children are tucked safely away in the basement.

Please, please, please...

[identity profile] galinda822.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
***Keeping fingers crossed that we'll have a snow day without losing power!!!!!***

Re: Please, please, please...

[identity profile] celtmanx.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
Great now you have cursed yourself and the power will go out!!!!

Re: Please, please, please...

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 03:28 pm (UTC)(link)
It ain't VooDoo.

Re: Please, please, please...

[identity profile] celtmanx.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 05:00 pm (UTC)(link)
It ain't VooDoo that you do!!!!

Re: Please, please, please...

[identity profile] celtmanx.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
Ok, I guess I'll keep the fingers on my left hand crossed for you!!!!

Re: Please, please, please...

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 03:29 pm (UTC)(link)
And yet here we sit. Oh well, I figure they'll close the office by noon at least.

[identity profile] jaceman.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 03:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Snow Days = Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches

Allow me to show my work.

--

Snow Days = Loss of Income
Loss of Income = Falling Behind on Mortgage
Falling Behind on Mortgage = Foreclosure
Foreclosure = Upset & Depressed Wife
Upset & Depressed Wife = Divorce
Divorce = Jace Cooking for Himself
Jace Cooking for Himself = Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 03:38 pm (UTC)(link)
heh - that was great dude. Your logic is impeccable!

[identity profile] celtmanx.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 05:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Can you write my name in the snow for me? it has never snowed enough here for me to do that.

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
No.

[identity profile] wardlejew.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Time to break out the snowmobiles to drive to work.
So you don't have to eat PB&J for dinner.

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
They've decided to leave the office open, but lock the front doors and allow anyone who wants to leave, leave. That means my team stays in place. I had half my guys not be able to make it in this morning, and I'm sending another one home at noon. Fun, fun.

[identity profile] jaceman.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Navigation isn't the problem... keeping the office open so that I don't lose pay is the problem.

The good news is the office is staying open, so I don't lose any income. However, I'm still stuck with PB&J; allow me to demonstrate why.

First, we know that...
Snow Days = Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches

Well, unfortunately...

Office Staying Open = Same Thing...

Office Staying Open = Hazardous Roads at Close of Business
Hazardous Roads at Close of Business = Traffic Problems
Traffic Problems = Idiots Getting Ticked Off
Idiots Getting Ticked Off = Accidents
Accidents = Increased Insurance Premium + Deductible
Increased Insurance Premium + Deductible = Falling Behind on Mortgage
Falling Behind on Mortgage = Foreclosure
Foreclosure = Upset & Depressed Wife
Upset & Depressed Wife = Divorce
Divorce = Jace Cooking for Himself
Jace Cooking for Himself = Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches

--
It takes a little longer to work out the math in this formula, but as you can see, I'm screwed whether the office closes or not.

Re: You need a tube of:

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I sure loves me that cherry flavor!

Re: You need a tube of:

[identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 09:25 pm (UTC)(link)
aren't you proud of me? I didn't hotlink off of drax0r's server.

Re: You need a tube of:

[identity profile] jaceman.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I was wondering how long it would take to trigger a sophomoric response to being "screwed."

That being said, I don't think I would be very apt to purchase anything that would make "screwing me" easier. That sort of encouragement only leads to purchasing future tubes and eventually to my own blog offending my very own "alternative lifestyle."

Re: You need a tube of:

[identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 09:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I meant this in the nicest way possible, of course.

Re: You need a tube of:

[identity profile] jaceman.livejournal.com 2007-02-13 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, of course!

[identity profile] snapper521.livejournal.com 2007-02-14 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
I. Hate. Snow.

We're getting your storm now. It sucks. *frown*

Anyway - I hope your life is going better then it was when you posted this. :-)

Catch ya laters

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-02-14 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
This too, shall pass.

[identity profile] snapper521.livejournal.com 2007-02-15 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
*rolls my eyes*

Are you sure?