Bumblebee

[ehowton]

Yesterday at work one of my co-workers was discussing terminology we use with children with another co-worker and engaged my opinion. This turned into a discussion of the differences of raising boys versus raising girls. He has two girls, and was envious that I at least had a boy I could raise. He said, "With a boy you don't have to worry about about knowing what a demi-plié is."

I placed my heels together and pointed my feet out to form a "V" and placed my hands on my hips, fingers-front, explaining, "Start with first position," and knelt slowly then came up. "The demi-plié." I announced. Mouths started to drop open. I continued with a battement tendu, that is, from first position, extending a foot without ever leaving the floor, ending with a pointed toe. Four or five people were staring at me in disbelief. "I have a girl also." I told them.

• I'm quite sure they think I'm a flaming homosexual.

We're having drax0r and jesskd26 over for dinner Saturday, so my wife wanted me to pick up one of those little mini-kegs of Heineken for the event. I made my way over to Anna Fine Wine & Liquor to ensure one was put in the cooler for me and was informed that the 12-pack of Heineken Light was on sale. I discusses the pro's and con's with my wife (she's very particular) and ended up instead with 36 cans. I cracked one immediately as I've never had a Heineken Light, and it was delicious! They were ice cold so I had another, and another...and another! I finished my fifth and last beer, lightheaded and slightly tipsy when my daughter announced, "You have to come meet my girlfriends mom and dad. They want you to."

For those of you who remember, I took my daughter's hand in Saint Louis and we walked around the neighborhood looking for, "girlfriends" for her. Daddy, will you find me some girlfriends to play with? Last night, however, she had finally found her own - but the parents wanted to meet us. So...slightly and somewhat immediately intoxicated, I lit a cigar and my wife and I walked the dog and stopped to meet the parents of two little girls around my daughter's age. Nice folks...if I recall correctly. And I may not.

• Its a good thing my wife was there.

And this morning, on the drive into work, I rec'd a call from my daughter's kindergarten teacher. "Mr. Howton, today I'm showing the class a film on Martin Luther King for the upcoming holiday and your daughters tells me she's not allowed to watch movies in the dark?"

Yes, I burst out laughing.

You see, the children like to turn out the lights in the Children's Retreat when they have friends over and are watching DVD's. I don't care for it because it generally causes more problems. So I tell them they're not allowed to turn off the lights.

Oops.

I explained this to the teacher and gave my permission, apologizing that she had to call me. "Oh its no problem," she said. "Its just that your daughter was adament about not disobeying you."

• What a little sweetheart.

Wore this shirt to my folks last weekend. Much to my chagrin my father thought I looked like the "Bumblebee Man" from "Channel Ocho" on The Simpsons and he was all manner of amused. Nice.






Found it! Was looking for this entry to link above:
http://ehowton.livejournal.com/39646.html

Comments

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

For the love of God, please fix your markup!

demi-plié
What the fuck is that? Some kind of ballet move?

I'm quite sure they think I'm a flaming homosexual.
You buy gay shoes.

took my daughter's hand in Saint Louis and we walked around the neighborhood looking for, "girlfriends" for her.
This story could have went very badly very fast.

I lit a cigar
I need to visit my local shop and stock up for the weekend.

Its a good thing my wife was there.
Amen!

"Its just that your daughter was adament about not disobeying you."
To be king of your own castle and have loyal subjects is a sweet thing.

my father thought I looked like the Bumblebee Man from Channel Ocho.
I also imagine you talking like Clevland on Family Guy.

[jesskd26.livejournal.com]

Wore this shirt to my folks last weekend. Much to my chagrin my father thought I looked like the "Bumblebee Man" from "Channel Ocho" on The Simpsons and he was all manner of amused. Nice.

I can totally see it. That is kind of funny.

We're having drax0r and jesskd26 over for dinner Saturday

Is that still on? Because Spousal unit Lima just accepted an invitation for TC on Saturday night at Glodowg's. I suppose we can do both though, right? Dinner first, TC later?

I placed my heels together and pointed my feet out to form a "V" and placed my hands on my hips, fingers-front, explaining, "Start with first position," and knelt slowly then came up.

Every day, Eric. Every day.

[jesskd26.livejournal.com]

demi-plié
What the fuck is that? Some kind of ballet move?

The great thing about this comment is that, even if you didn't know the meaning of the word, HE JUST EXPLAINED WHAT IT WAS! Any idiot could have figured out by the context of the paragraph that it was a ballet move.

Bumblebee Man

[catttitude.livejournal.com]

Your wife told you first, "I hate that shirt on you!" You bought it anyway, I love my father-in-law!!!!!

[catttitude.livejournal.com]

Hope you guys can come over earlier and we all go to Glo's. Sorry, I'm so used to being the boss I forget to ask. It wont happen again.

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

Any idiot could have figured out...
We're not talking about just any idiot here.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

For the love of God, please fix your markup!
Done.

What the fuck is that? Some kind of ballet move?
Comprehension - its not just for intellectuals!

You buy gay shoes.
No sir, sometimes I purchase semi-homosexual shoes. There's a difference.

...went...
The past tense of "to go".

I need to visit my local shop and stock up for the weekend.
Try either purchasing more than one at a time, or smoke less than you purchase. This helps create a supply of inventory which shan't leave you short when you need them.

Amen!
Good food, good drink, good God lets eat!

I also imagine you talking like Clevland on Family Guy.
I don't know what this means.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I can totally see it. That is kind of funny.
Thank you for your support.

I suppose we can do both though, right? Dinner first, TC later?
Make-your-own-chimi's still on; catttitude was thinking you guys could show earlier? Give drax0r and I will just start drinking earlier. I might need to buy yet another 12-pack of Heineken while its on sale to not show up empty handed.

Every day, Eric. Every day.
I know, but there's nothing I can say to dissuade you from thinking otherwise :(

[jesskd26.livejournal.com]

No, no no. It's cool. Glo mentioned it earlier and when I saw your post I just assumed we were doing both. No worries!

[jesskd26.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your support.

Always here to help.

Give drax0r and I will just start drinking earlier.

I assume then that we will just all meet up at your house? What time do you boys see being off work?

I know, but there's nothing I can say to dissuade you from thinking otherwise :(

Oh, I know you aren't. It's just that I think in some parallel universe, you MUST be.

[jesskd26.livejournal.com]

That is very extremely true. When is the wedding?

Re: Bumblebee Man

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

To everything, there is a season.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Run to her.

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

Done.
Thank you.

Comprehension - its not just for intellectuals!
You're killin' me Smalls.

Have I ever told you that whenever I read a comment or post that you make I laugh so hard I become light-headed. ALL THE TIME!!!

No sir, sometimes I purchase semi-homosexual shoes. There's a difference.
There's no difference between gay and most gay. A doctor that makes all C's is still called "doctor".

Try either purchasing more than one at a time, or smoke less than you purchase. This helps create a supply of inventory which shan't leave you short when you need them.
I need a humidor for proper storage.

Good food, good drink, good God lets eat!
I likes it I do!

I don't know what this means.
"Comprehension - its not just for intellectuals!"

BOOYA!

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

grrr.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

What time do you boys see being off work?
That's Saturday.

It's just that I think in some parallel universe, you MUST be.
I feel that way too sometimes.

[jesskd26.livejournal.com]

That's Saturday.

That just dawned on me. I am a day ahead apparently.

[jesskd26.livejournal.com]

Hold her tight and never let her go.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

You're killin' me Smalls.
The great thing about this comment is that, even if you didn't know the meaning of the word, HE JUST EXPLAINED WHAT IT WAS! Any idiot could have figured out by the context of the paragraph that it was a ballet move.

A doctor that makes all C's is still called "doctor".
You have no sense of proportion.

I need a humidor for proper storage.
Stop putting the cart before the horse.

"Comprehension - its not just for intellectuals!"
You're using this incorrectly.

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

The great thing about this comment is that, even if you didn't know the meaning of the word, HE JUST EXPLAINED WHAT IT WAS! Any idiot could have figured out by the context of the paragraph that it was a ballet move.
We're not just talking about any idiot here.

You have no sense of proportion.
I have a big knob.

If I don't have a humidor and then buy in bulk quantity, I will either have to spend a considerable amount of time smoking cigars or have my stock go to waste.

You're using this incorrectly.
No, it's not. I comprehend who Clevland is. You don't. You're implication in your earlier comment was that I'm not an intellectual.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

We're not just talking about any idiot here.
That is very extremely true. When is the wedding?

No, it's not. I comprehend who Clevland is. You don't. You're implication in your earlier comment was that I'm not an intellectual.
No sir, you know who Cleveland is via other means. There's a very big difference between your knowledge of something and your lack of being able to understand something being explained to you. Case in point, your very ignorance on the subject is proving your lack of intelligence without me having to say a damn thing.

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

Case in point, your very ignorance on the subject is proving your lack of intelligence without me having to say a damn thing.
Likewise.

Re: Bumblebee Man

[schpydurx.livejournal.com]

In this case, never might be the season.

[photogoot.livejournal.com]

The first time I met you 16 years ago in Europe you did the demi-plié followed by the battement tendu.

I just wanted to state that for the record so we may avoid any confusion over your knowledge of this having to do with the gender of your children.

Thank you, that is all.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I hate you.