Breaking Point

[ehowton]

I broke down and cried.
In front of my wife, no less.

After all this shit with the house - coupled with the fact that I still don't know how I'm going to come up with $8000 by the 31th - or the odd $2000 I may me short if I do...I'm gambling on so much. I'm gambling on my relo arriving on time - by the 31st; we have to close in this month or else I'll be held hostage for another $3000 I don't have. I'm gambling on getting funded - by Monday now, if the house has indeed closed - I don't even know that! was just as busy on the phone & fax Friday as I was the day before during all the drama (still no money from the sale of the house) and on top of that, as I'm driving home (to quickly change clothes and drive to my parents house for the weekend) it dawns on me that part of my relo - what I've put a stake in on the closing of the new house - was based on my agents commission: I get refunded for that. And both agents credited $1500 of their commission to get the house sold. That's money I can no longer claim, yet I still need to claim and receive $8000 in just over two-weeks time plus find somewhere another two grand still...Too many demands (I'm not paying enough attention to my friends or family, apparently) everywhere I turn. And amidst all this, I'm still expected to do my job. My day started at 0400 this morning for a 10-hour project.

I get home, and my wife wants us to move the closing up earlier than the 24th.

I stare at her blankly.

She wants the children to be in the house prior to school starting (the 27th) the Monday after we would close on that Friday (the 24th), not four days after (the 31st). She's very upset by this change of plans.

I don't even know if the kids are going to have their own home to live in, let alone whether it's three days before, or four days after school starts, and if we are, if they'll have food to eat the first month we're there.

I thought she understood all this.

I couldn't handle this latest requirement, and lost it.

I can't remember the last time I cried. I usually handle stress fairly well. I don't "love chaos" like drax0r claims he does (though hearing him glibly state that and watching him in the middle of a fiasco are two very different things) but I think things have been building up way too much these last three months.

Once we purchase the house, everything should be fine. Its just scraping together this enormous amount of cash in a given period which has proven...challenging.

I won't say that I'm calm now; its still there, just under the surface, but my wife has brilliantly outlined a solution that just may work. Its not my favorite thing to do, but I think it will do the trick. We put all purchases the next two weeks on the credit card, and keep 100% of my paycheck as ready-cash for closing.

This may actually work.

Comments

[jaceman.livejournal.com]

*pats you on the back and gives you a man-hug*

I myself usually handle stress pretty well... when you remain forever in stressful situations you get to where you MUST learn how to cope. That being said, the last 18 months have seen tears flowing like Niagara from mine eyes. This has proved to make me feel a bit foolish, but has also proved quite therapeutic. If the water feels like it's going to come, let it come.

Also I'll be in prayer for you my friend, and if you do need someone to talk to you're always welcome to grab a telephone.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

In the stress wars, you win. My last three months seem petty compared to your last 18. I'll take all this over again twice before I want to be anywhere near where you have.

But thank you.

[jaceman.livejournal.com]

Well, we will just agree not to have a "Who has it worse?" contest. Besides, I hope all of my friends and family always have it better than me rather things are going superbly or somewhat less than for myself. Simply put, when I pray for myself, I pray that my needs are met. When I pray for you, I pray that yours are met in abundance.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

That is very generous. May it be visited upon you a hundredfold.

[galinda822.livejournal.com]

I so wish there was something I could do to help you with all this! You know if I had the cash I would instantly, without hesitation give it to you! Since I don't however, please let me know if there's anything else I can do to help you and your family - anything at all.

It stresses me more than you know to hear that this has caused you to break down!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And what a beautiful, touching avatar to use. Thanks you for that as well.

[galinda822.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! I'm glad you found it touching...especially if you found a little peace from it.

Think on my suggestion from this morning! I've been there and it helped me at the time.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I told Lori about it - and she wasn't too keen on the idea. The good news, is if we have to put the entire $10k on a credit card, we'll likely be able to pay off nearly all of it before the first payment is due, thus negating any finance charges.

Thanks for thinking of me!

[galinda822.livejournal.com]

Just offering another alternative to the interest rates...but if you can avoid them that's awesome!

[prog-guy69.livejournal.com]

Cyn and I had to do something similar when we closed on our house. We had to have X dollars in a joint account and my credit cards could not go up from when they checked my credit a month prior to closing. We also had to purchase a living room set and refrigerator and freezer -- all without dropping our account below a certain dollar amount and without adding to my credit debt.

We waited till after the closing to buy the fridge and freezer and the furniture didn't hit my card until the delivery date (three days after closing).

I'm sure things will work out, it may be tough for a couple of weeks, but after all is said and done, you and your family will have a wonderful home to live in. I wish you all the best. :-)

Keep those spirits up!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Yes, it gets crazy doesn't it? I'm actually bringing a lot of this stress on myself by refusing to put less than 20% down - and by buying down my interest rate. The ONLY reason I'm able (or not, apparently) is because my bank isn't charging me any closing fees.

Of course I've been juggling rates & lenders & fees now for nearly a fortnight - trying to fit all the pieces of the puzzle together.

[prog-guy69.livejournal.com]

We were initially told that there would be no closing costs, then found out we needed a couple of hundred dollars for closing. Being a new couple and still dealing with Cyn's divorce, we were not able to put anything down. Still we were able to keep our mortgage payment about the say as out apartment rent payment per month.

County, city and school district taxes have screwed us this year, but we are going to file for the Texas Homestead Exemption, which should lower our taxes. I'm also hoping for a little money from my Dad's wrongful death lawsuit, which should allow us a little room to breathe.

Do you know anything about the Texas Homestead Exemption? My Dad talked about it all the time (he was a custom home builder), but I haven't taken the time to look into it and fill out the paperwork.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

It used to mean a whole lot more than it does these days. I doubt you'll see any change once you've identified that as your status.

Go to the County Tax office and fill out the form. regardless.

[dentin.livejournal.com]

Ick. I understand totally, my sister is going through a similar (though actually worse) issue from the other side - her house was vandalized as part of the standard 'meth' scam and it's cost her about 13k out of pocket to have it dealt with.

Could you email me your physical mailing address and other current contact info? I only have the old boyd one, and need to mail you a present before I head to kentucky.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I don't know what the standard 'meth scam' is, but it doesn't sound pleasant. In Texas, we're allowed to shoot people who wish to vandalize our property.

I'll 'shoot' the address in an email. Thanks.

[dentin.livejournal.com]

The meth scam is where someone tours the house and spritzes water laced with methamphetamine into the air ducts and furnace. They then offer a higher than reasonable price and request a meth test of the house.

The scam part is that the meth test generally only just barely fails, and the owner fairly often leaves the house on the market anyway rather than deal with the expensive cleanup. The scammer then calls back, says that they know the house failed and blackmails the seller into selling the house for half of what it's worth. The blackmail part comes about because it's illegal to leave the house on the market (illegal in the 'felony' sense.)

My sister escaped by pulling it immediately off the market and starting cleanup proceedings. Halfway through, the cleanup guys noticed something was wrong and got the law involved. It's unlikely that anything will ever come of it, other than tremendous loss of money and time.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

That's horrific. Thank you for explaining. I read your comment aloud to my wife. If we ever move (and I hope to never move again) I'll know to respectfully decline a meth test.

Knowledge is power!

My heart goes out to your sister. As if there's not enough stress involved in selling a home...

[leonardii.livejournal.com]

You were certainly right about this entry.

I'm going to a special Mass this afternoon. It will be at the actual church where I received my Confirmation and first Communion.

I'm thinking - this is no coincidence, but it's a moment for me to come back to the place where I was truly cleansed, and it's a special time and place for me to help a friend.

Today my friend, I shall be down on my knees for you.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Your selflessness never goes unnoticed.

[leonardii.livejournal.com]

And thank you.

I only wish that I could do more. Alas, I cannot. This disturbs me more than anything.

If I had some ends, I would let you hold some indefinitely...

[codekitten.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

i like the credit card idea. it's perfect. breathe in breathe out. i'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Thanks! We just got the wire from the sale of the house in STL. Hurdle one down. I'll try to remember to breathe...

[irulan-amy.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

That is a lot of stress to deal with, and from my experience, financial stress is some of the worst. I imagine it's even more so when you have a family, and not just yourself, to worry about.

The credit card idea sounds like a solid one. Two weeks worth of purchases hopefully won't add up to much, and you'll get it taken care of as soon as your house craziness is sorted out...

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Solid. I like that. And you're right, it'll be a drop in the bucket compared to everything else. I still have a house over my head thanks to the generosity of drax0r and his family. So I've got that going for me.

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry you are going through so much strife!!!


Let me share with you an old Irish proverb. Keep your chin up we might eventually get the English to leave. They said that 500 hundred years ago, yet they keep on trying.

Never give up!!!!

Never surrender!!!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Thanks. And I appreciate you quoting Galaxy Quest especially since you look like Mathasar!

[wardlejew.livejournal.com]

I say this only because when I say it or hear it I usually feel better, and by reading it I hope you may feel a little better too.

Buck up little camper. It'll be okay.

The greatest rewards come from the greatest work. Remember the top three accomplishments are the most important. Wife, family, and friends. Look at your post and the comments and you can see you have those for sure.

Still, I'm hoping all goes well from here on out with the house.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

You had me at 'little camper...'

Thanks dude.

Need a tissue?

[(Anonymous)]

Perhaps a little better planning on your part and you wouldn't have been in this situation.

Re: Need a tissue?

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Perhaps.

This is my fourth home purchase. Its nigh impossible to not miss something along the way.

In my case, it was the pay-periods this time.

Re: Need a tissue?

[(Anonymous)]

Perhaps a little less self-indulgence in things such as that fancy new car could have helped your situation. Self discipline is something very much lacking in our nation.

Re: Need a tissue?

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I'm unsure I see the correlation. If by 'fancy' you mean the least expensive V6 coupe on the market, I'm flattered. Perhaps you didn't read the post on the events surrounding the necessity of a new vehicle? Either way, I could very easily get myself out of this situation by not putting a full 20% down on the house, or paying down my points in cash. Self-indulgence to me would indicated not doing any of those things. We each have our own measuring stick of acceptability. Purchasing a house is stressful business, perhaps you've never done so, I don't know - but the breaking point for me came in my wife's misunderstanding of the situation in applying additional demands upon me, of which I could not guarantee. Since the money down on a timeline is the issue here, I can state as a fact that the purchase of the new car actually saved me money in the short term, negating the expenditure of funds to repair the old one. Funny how things sometimes work out.

Re: Need a tissue?

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

And while I'm thinking of it, go fuck yourself.