PostSecretion

[ehowton]

After all the research I poured into yesterday's post, and learning all about PostSecret, during a comment I left irulan_amy I've decided to start a spin-off site, with a twist.

I'll call it:

POST SECRETION


Here's how it'll work - all you sickos out there can wipe, smear, drip, spit, forcibly eject, ejaculate, or excrete any substance you wish onto a plain white 3x5 postcard and send it to me with your sick, pathetic, emo story about how you came to be in contact with, or your story behind your own secretion and why you think you need to share this information with the world.

I'll make millions.

Comments

[melancthe.livejournal.com]

What good timing! I have a sniffle today, and I would LOVE to share the emo story of my crumpled tissues with you!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Just slather that goop onto a 3x5 white index card and let me know all about how it makes you feel, and your perception of yourself because of it. Its okay, you're not alone.

[melancthe.livejournal.com]

I would like to try my hand at bad poetry. Would it be a problem if my emo confession is in dubious verse?

(if it's legible through the nasal secretions, of course)

Gross!

[galinda822.livejournal.com]

Your poor mail carrier will have to wear a biohazard suit.

Re: Gross!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Its a sick world out there. That's why my new site will succeed. What about the postman who delivers the post cards to PostSecret? You think he's not emotionally scarred reading day after day the perversions which pass through his hand? Mine will simply crank up the 'Ewwwww!' factor significantly, which I think is where the draw will be. Volumes will arrive. I may be seen as singlehandedly reinvigorating the United States Postal Service and will have a stamp made of my face in honor. I can almost taste the dry mint adhesive which covers the reverse side.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Bottle your secretions for me? I think I'll sell them on the site as well. Thanks!

Re: Gross!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Hey - next time I see you, will you secrete on me directly? I'm thinking of putting up a paid members-only area where they can log in and watch secretion transfer take place.

Re: Gross!

[galinda822.livejournal.com]

It would be my pleasure! :)

[unixwolf.livejournal.com]

You are a sick fuck.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'll make you partner when we make our first million.

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

I'm sure he'd love to be your partner!!!

But someone I think would be very jealous and threaten to post secret e-mails of an embarrassing nature!!!

Re: Gross!

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

I could swear she already did that!!!

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

Oh send it baby, were just a waiting!!!

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

I think I know someone who would buy them all!!!

No it's not drax0r !!!

Is this Macaulay Culkin in this avatar???

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

Oh, please do. Were all a tither!!!

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

He loves you too!!!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

My runny snot
It runs a lot
I blow and blow
For what, I do not know.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

I can't be embarrassed.

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

Aren't there pictures of you and drax0r in action???

Re: Gross!

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

No reply says volumes!!

[celtmanx.livejournal.com]

No response says volumes!!!

Re: Gross!

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

So does not sleeping at 0138.

[ehowton.livejournal.com]

Most people our age who have children are 'sleeping' at the time you posted this. If you like, I can wait until you're asleep, then ask you questions immediately followed with, 'no response says volumes' if you like. This is not an Instant Messenger client, its a blog. Come to think of it, I bet you're sleeping now!